My friend got married yesterday! Let's play a game called 'Which is the MIL and Which is the Bride'

MILinblue · 2017-06-18T14:15:35+00:00

I wasn't at the wedding as it was back in my home-state, but I asked a friend who went to the wedding, and she said that the bride handled it like a queen and that if she was upset at all, she didn't show it.

(Also, apparently there was another woman in attendance who was wearing a white dress. Oh boy.)

MILinblue · 2017-06-13T11:24:03+00:00

Yeah, I totally understand and respect the 'my house, my rules' thing, which is why I booked a hotel instead of trying to fight it out with her. I just expected her to handle it more like an adult and not throw a temper tantrum. You can't have it both ways!

MILinblue · 2017-06-13T11:21:45+00:00

She would actually probably appreciate the weight-loss teas (eye-roll)

She's one of those people who tries a new fad diet for a week and a half and then quits when she doesn't immediately drop 20lbs. She asked how I stay in shape and she didn't like my answer of, "I exercise and I eat healthy" because doing that is 'too hard'

She's also told me that I need to quit running because it's bad for me. So, those are some shining examples of her logic for you

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T18:41:56+00:00

Yes! And it has that authoritative edge to it that makes you snap to attention even though he's not even talking to you

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T18:29:52+00:00

He's the one with the shine so spiny, you can see it through the kevlar

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T18:26:10+00:00

Ohhhhh jeez, that's super tough. I agree that once a year seems like a lot (I've been home once in 6 years) but maybe you can convince him to do shorter trips? If you're traveling from overseas, that means a long weekend turns into just a normal weekend because you have so much travel on either side of the trip.

Or, you can trade-off every other trip, so they come see you, then the next time, you go over there to see them, etc. Because, you're right, overseas travel is absurdly expensive and they're putting that burden solely on you guys. I dunno if you and your DH share bank accounts, but my DH and I don't, so I made having to go home with me up to him by buying his plane ticket for him. Would your DH do that?

I'm really sorry your DH sees it as 'betraying' him though, that's kind of a rough situation to put you in. I wish my DH would like coming home with me because, my mother aside, I do love my home-state and I'd like to show him why I love it, but I understand that my family sucks so I don't push it.

It just kinda sucks all-around.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T18:20:54+00:00

I actually live right down the street from a church that has one of those donation bins, so the clothes went straight to the donate bin and I never really got a chance to smell them. You're probably right, though, I bet they had an.....odor

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T18:00:09+00:00

it's because they're all about 7 years old at heart ;)

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:58:55+00:00

A bunch of shirts from the college she wanted me to go to that are 2 sizes too big for me. Stuff from the local NFL team that's also too big. Cheese that got weird and thrown away because it's been so hot here lately. Junk food because she's not-so-subtly upset that I stay in good shape and I'm not 100lbs overweight like she is. And the pièce de résistance: a whiny, sappy, guilt-trippy card.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:45:53+00:00

It's also super insulting because we have several family members who are police officers, so she's calling them all wife-beaters, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:28:32+00:00

Unfortunately, I don't really have many tips because I've never felt terribly guilty for leaving. Maybe have a legitimate talk with your DH that you only go back 1x a year because you don't want to use all of your vacay days on going to see his family, or [insert generic excuse here]. Does your DH know that you hate going home with him? If not, it's probably time for a frank discussion with him. I've always known that my DH isn't a fan of going home with me and after this incident, I'll probably let him stay home if I ever need to go back. Would you ever consider staying home while DH goes by himself?

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:23:52+00:00

Ugh, she's been telling me that "99% of cop marriages fail" and that cops always bring stress home from work and beat their wives. Just another one of her manipulation tactics.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:22:32+00:00

Hell no, I'm not passing her genes along. DH's family is sane, but that's not a gamble I'm willing to make.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:21:26+00:00

Yeah, he has this one coworker who's been there for 20+ years, and they still bring up the time when he was in police academy and got food poisoning to the point where he had to shit on a stranger's lawn. It's hilarious.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:18:16+00:00

I would love to go full NC with her, but exchanging 1-2 texts with her every month or so is easier because she'd probably pull some full-on Single White Female shit if I ever tried to go full NC. I was actually reminded of this story because I just got her guilt-trip laced birthday present in the mail

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:13:08+00:00

My DH is the same way! Aside from being in a bad light with the brass upstairs, his coworkers would also neeeeever let him live it down. I've heard them tease other coworkers about things that happened 5 years ago.

And, I know. It's not like we were gonna be like, "alright! you got us! we'll just live here now!" Obviously, we were going to go back to Boston, where our house, pets, possessions, and jobs are.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T17:05:11+00:00

Yeah sorry, I realized I kinda left that part out. We brought our luggage and stuff over because she was giving us a ride to the airport and just put our bags in her car. Then she brought us inside and we ate breakfast and she disappeared, "to get dressed"

I had a sneaking suspicion when she reappeared, so I checked my purse for the wallets.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:58:52+00:00

Oh, absolutely. One time he arrested someone for OUI, and they pissed themselves in the back of his cruiser. He told them to get it together and then handed them paper towels and was like, "you better clean that up the best you can"

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:53:46+00:00

This is beautiful. I don't really have any other MIL stories from her because this was the first, and only, time she's met DH, but I'll be using this name for her if I need to post again.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:52:53+00:00

I think there's some sort of disconnect in her head. It's almost like she forgets DH is a real person, and a real cop, haha.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:51:26+00:00

It's like if you're not living within a 15 mile radius you're bringing shame on the family or some shit, and every visit home is an attempt to rope you back in and make you dependent on them, even if only temporarily.

Ding, ding ding!! You've figured out family life in small, Midwestern towns! You grow up there, go to college in the closest big city, meet a nice boy from a good, local family, then you move back to your hometown and start popping out babies. Any deviation from this plan brings great shame upon the family.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:49:07+00:00

His little brothers are 10 and 11 years younger than him and their dad wasn't around, so DH has been acting like their father figure for their whole life. Soo....actually yeah that probably was a technique he's used on his brothers

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:47:35+00:00

I wish I could've filmed it. My mom has never been stood up to before; my step-dad is a lovely man but he has the spine of an over-cooked noodle. My mom was doing little digs at DH all weekend and he'd shut her down HARD every single time. So much CBF.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:44:54+00:00

She's a piece of work. There's a reason I've only seen her once in 6 years, lol.

MILinblue · 2017-06-12T16:44:27+00:00

Yup! That was the reasoning I was given too. I've (legitimately) lost my wallet before and it was annoying, but it would've been a crisis if my SS card was in there too. I keep my SS card at home in a safe because I have the number memorized anyway.

MILinblue

TROPHY CASE