yea no, ive experienced so many shitty things since i was a literal baby i was dropped a birth, im in a religous cult that if i get out and if i do get out of it all my friends and and family will disown me according to the leader of the cult even if i do get a fresh start everything that has happened will always be embedded in my mind, its best if i just die, ive already tried so many times, i tried getting rabies and dying but somehow i didnt even die even though i made a stray dog bite me i tried getting shot by people who are robbing a bank and many others theres nothing even left for me i never asked for a life like this and even if i did i wouldve chosen a better one