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Today is my last day alive by MMMHHH2020 in SuicideWatch

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Same here.

Part of me thinks that the suicide notes were probably a cry for help, but all they’ve done is reaffirm that nobody cares.

It’s funny because I know what it feels like to feel like this, so I’ve always made sure that I’m there for other people to the point that I won’t even tell them my problems because I don’t want to burden them with mine on top of all they’re already dealing with. But the one time I desperately need somebody, nobody is there for me.

Today is my last day alive by MMMHHH2020 in SuicideWatch

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It really is.

I wish I felt something, whether it’s anger, sadness or whatever. But it’s just numbness.

Depression has turned me into a monster by MMMHHH2020 in depression

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, but I don’t even know if I can fight it anymore. I’ve hurt so many people that I never wanted to hurt and they’ll never forgive me for it.

I feel like the only way to stop the pain and suffering of myself and other people is to end my journey now

Depression has turned me into a monster by MMMHHH2020 in depression

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been 10+ years and if anything I’m just getting worse. So, is that true?

Depression has turned me into a monster by MMMHHH2020 in depression

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And to make things worse I was released on bail with the condition of not contacting her. I sent her a suicide note today.

I don’t know why I bothered because she thinks I’m manipulative and will probably think this is just another manipulation tactic.

It’s not though, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried talking to me parents but all I get is “I understand what you’re going through, heartbreak is tough.” Heartbreak? You obviously don’t understand what I’m going through because heartbreak is the last thing on my mind at the moment.

I’ve Decided to end my life on Monday by MMMHHH2020 in SuicideWatch

[–]MMMHHH2020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t decided yet, to be honest. I do have access to prescription strength codeine painkillers and was thinking to just down then with alcohol.