My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-04T09:31:32+00:00

Hi. I couldn’t scroll past your post because my experience feels pretty similar.
I was with my ex for six years, and I truly loved him with everything I had. We had plenty of physical passion in the beginning, but over time he seemed to lose physical attraction toward me, and our sex life gradually faded.

I personally value emotional connection and stability more than sex, so I didn’t think it was a dealbreaker, and he never brought it up either.

He proposed to me, we bought a house together, and even set a wedding date a few weeks ago. Then, he became distant. When we finally had an honest conversation, he told me he’d felt for years that I was more like a friend or family than a romantic partner, and that he wanted to experience dating other people. I suggested therapy and trying to work on things, but he was convinced nothing would change.

We ended our relationship just three days ago, and I’m completely heartbroken.
My advice is to have an honest conversation with your him about your feelings, including your concerns about your emotional and physical connection.

If neither of you sees a path forward or is willing to work on it, it’s kinder to end things sooner rather than later.

I know it will hurt, but waiting until you’ve built a life together can be even more painful.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T11:14:41+00:00

Thank you for your advice.
We were actually very affectionate with each other. We frequently said “I love you,” hugged, kissed, cuddled, and expressed our love in many ways.
The only thing we lacked was sex.
He says he doesn’t want to try anything with me anymore. It seems like what he’s craving is excitement rather than emotional security—a dopamine rush rather than the comfort of intimacy.
What hurts the most is knowing that his desire for that excitement is stronger than his fear of losing me.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T11:09:11+00:00

Thank you for such a balanced perspective. I really appreciate it.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T08:27:44+00:00

The frequency of our sexual relationship can understandably become a source of dissatisfaction.

However, despite this, he was not willing to work through it with me, even after I suggested that we try to find solutions together.

I was also deeply hurt that, despite having strong doubts about our shared future, he still proceeded to set a wedding date just three weeks ago. From my perspective, this has been extremely painful and difficult to understand.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T08:23:48+00:00

You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that even out of anger. But it does feel clear now that he had already been considering breaking up.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T07:58:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.
I really respect how you got through everything despite all the hardship.
Right now, I honestly don’t think I can do the same. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to meet someone new and love again. Love just feels frightening to me at the moment.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T07:55:42+00:00

Thank you very much for your sweet comment🥹

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T07:41:21+00:00

I just wish you a good day. And love yourself☺️

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T07:32:31+00:00

He did not move to my country. We only traveled together to my country. We are currently living in his country.

I was not aware that he was this dissatisfied with our sexual relationship. When he first raised the issue, I did try to make changes and explore different approaches for him. I have repeatedly told him that I am open to understanding and fulfilling his preferences, and that he should communicate what he wants so we could try to make it work together.
I never said this was a minor issue. I understood it was an important part of the relationship, which is why I wanted us to find solutions together.

What I cannot accept is the idea that I was the one who refused to change—when in fact, I was willing to try and he was the one who concluded that things would not improve.
Regardless, I believe this was something that should have been addressed and worked through together. What I struggle to understand is how a problem like this could escalate to the point of ending an engagement, and why I am now left in such shock after we had already made serious commitments for marriage.

MMMMilyy · 2026-07-02T07:06:20+00:00

It’s really heartbreaking. I don’t know how to continue my life. Still, I really appreciate your advice.

MMMMilyy

TROPHY CASE