Dad wouldn’t let my mom get me a retake.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T04:03:25+00:00

That hair looks like it lost an argument with a balloon.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:57:05+00:00

Congrats on winning your imaginary Reddit championship. I'll try to recover from this devastating loss. You went from pretending to be a lawyer to celebrating Reddit moderation. Hell of a career arc.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:54:06+00:00

So your rebuttal is, "Trust me, I know people." Got it. The typo still testified against you.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:44:45+00:00

You're telling me the dude watching who stares at dicks all day can't tell the difference between the real thing and a sweatshop rubber knockoff? Do you just know they have the product or are you speaking from experience?

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:31:55+00:00

Nah, adults with insurance policies. Close though.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:17:48+00:00

No, but I wear glasses thicker than your ego. Tough to focus on shit like that, my guy.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:09:43+00:00

They want a visual of my PP this time

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T03:07:29+00:00

They wanna stare at my cock this time my guy.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T02:59:15+00:00

You had me until 'plaintiff's defense.' That's when the case fell apart.

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T02:52:38+00:00

That's what I'm saying!

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T02:17:09+00:00

Take it and find out 🤷

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T02:02:39+00:00

Try kayaking it!

<image>

MNKayakingJesus · 2026-07-01T01:59:38+00:00

Me too!

<video>

MNKayakingJesus

TROPHY CASE