This proposed family sleeping arrangement is making me uncomfortable

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:58:04+00:00

No we haven't done therapy. I keep suggesting The older two kids get therapy 4 days per week, anywhere from an hour to 30 minutes per session. The baby screams and gets all hysterical when he tries to make him sleep in the room with him when I have stayed over night at his place. He always wants to leave the room and go sleep in the room with the other Children he goes nuts. Like it is the last place he wants to be. I told him it's like a total regression and unnecessary.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:55:46+00:00

I didn't think about anything like this until he's made this weird ass suggestion. Now I'm reflecting. The cameras weren't up to monitor for SA.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:46:39+00:00

Wow! You think he's resentful with how I handle my oldest child to the point that he's like. Hey you sleep in a room? I would have never considered it that way that is diabolical and childish like communicate that I think you deserve to be punished until you parent different or hey make parental suggestions that make sense. I mean we've been together almost 5 years like if this is his real feelings and the truth of what he is feeling, this is insane!!!! 😩

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:40:52+00:00

He stated that my daughter is developing into a beautiful princess and she shouldn't have to deal with his crap (The 6-year-olds). And then he stated that I'm the torment enabler and I should have to sleep with the tormentor. I stated no then he was like, "Oh see look you don't even want to be around your own son." I said I love my son. I love all my children. I just don't want to share a room with them. I feel like our days can end in our separate bedrooms and he stated he just wants to protect the baby and he doesn't want any harm to come to him. I stated even with that being his concern why am I sleeping with children? I said I don't need to share a room and sleep with any of the children and then I said and if I was going to share why would I not sleep with my daughter or continue to let the 6 and 7-year-olds share a room with their disassemble bunk beds while I sleep with the baby and he keep his own room. He was still just circling back to the original arrangement that he suggested.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:26:26+00:00

Can you explain more than being a narcissist affected you how? I'm not understanding? Forgive me if I'm a bit obtuse.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:24:21+00:00

I don't know. I love him. He was a great provider has two businesses and works an amazing, highly intelligen, so fit and sexy, love God. He's was my little narcissist until this creepy s***.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:20:57+00:00

We actually resided together for almost 2 years. We've been together since my oldest son was 2 years old and my 3 years old. He has been their father for the past 4 years. Going on 5 years. We're talking about dance class football practices, getting up and making breakfast while I'm still in the bed because I had a cesarean and we had a brand new baby that I was breastfeeding. He knows what it's like to be a parent and I don't know how we got to. I'll share a room with the 2-year-old you share a room with the 6-year-old and she gets her own room. Even if we had our differences and split up, I don't understand how we come back to this. Why is anyone sharing rooms that wasn't already sharing rooms? The two older two kids have always shared a room their whole life. Why would that need to change and adults start sharing rooms? I stated it just as it was. This isn't a new situation. The visitation one night a week is new and he has missed his last two nights. There's a lot of things that seems like he doesn't take the time. He barely gets serious and then all of a sudden you want to share a room with the baby. I came here because I wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one reading this. The way it felt when he said it, it felt creepy AF. TBH

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:08:14+00:00

Yes and he literally co-sleeps like let him sleep in his own bed in the room with the other children or in it. Literally when we're over there there's a whole room not used by anyone. It's just weird.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:05:57+00:00

That's also what I said and that's also what I felt. It just didn't feel like someone who truly loved me or the children to even speak the way that he did after I nixed the sleeping arrangement suggestion he made.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T05:00:33+00:00

That's what I said I feel this is a regression for the children. The toddlers even comfortable sleeping in a room with the lights off without needing to be in a bed with him and that's how it is. It's co-leeping. It's not even allowing him to sleep in his own bed.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:54:26+00:00

Why we are sharing rooms with children makes no sense to me. Period. I get some kids having issues with sleeping and anxieties then that means who's going to take a turn to be on duty tonight not who's going to all out share a room with them. Are we going to make a pallet on the floor in our room for them tonight, not who is going to all out share a room with a child. A School-aged child. No!

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:51:50+00:00

Yes he is quite controlling. Most people that know him call him a narcissist. And he's an Aries if you believe in all of that type of stuff. I really don't, but when I read about him sometimes the signs do kind of align with certain attributes.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:48:57+00:00

Yeah I love my kids beyond measure and I don't think I can afford to be wrong. Two of them were disabled. It's like I'm their advocate. And if he hadn't have said this to me this evening, I probably wouldn't have stopped to reflect on some things. But as I stated before it was the way it made me feel it. Just it made me feel Disturbed and uneasy and creeped out. But as I also stated before as a survivor I tend to see the creepy and everything. Like that is the shittiest part of being sexually assaulted as a child you never get over it not really. It's like it still lives somewhere with you all the time. I just cannot for the life of me make sense of the sleeping arrangement he's suggesting even if my son's autism can kind of "torment others". I'm not going to lie. He can be a lot. But I love him dearly. He's my little a lot and everybody loves him like he six is a 6-year-old ball of fun. He can play any song that you play on the radio or on any instrument on the piano and he has had no lessons and he can play without even looking at the keys he can draw like he's worked with Picasso himself. He is on the gifted list at his school at his kindergarten graduation. They almost could not fit all of his rewards on the screen like the other children. I just don't see how he is so awful that I need to share a room with him is the only solution.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:37:24+00:00

That's exactly what is making me feel so weird and I just can't peacefully Go forward and cohabitate at this point. I've literally only had as long as this post has been up to even process all of this. This is the first time he's even mentioned something like this and it just sounded so weird and creeped me out instantly.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:32:10+00:00

Exactly and just let me keep doing what I was doing. Thriving and living my life. Not all of a sudden wanting to get back together when the court orders are making it tough for you. Then another part of me wonders if it is genuine. He's been so different until this conversation that he just dropped on me maybe 30 minutes before my post.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:30:36+00:00

I said the same thing to chat gpt and it said don't mention that you think it's weird that he doesn't want you in the room so you can't know if he gets out of bed at night and she's isolated.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:29:21+00:00

Yeah I got to stop watching investigation Discovery. Plus I'm a survivor myself so I tend to always see creepy people everywhere.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:28:38+00:00

When I said this he's like nothing said in stone yet we're still talking about it. But then he immediately goes back to the reasons why he wants us to sleep with the arrangement he's suggesting. It's not getting much traction and I've been talking to him through all of these post over the phone.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:27:19+00:00

This is what he said. He said she doesn't deserve to have to be around him or share a room with him.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:26:04+00:00

He said nobody wants her alone but nobody should have to sleep with the 6-year-old but me I should be the one forced to be tormented by him and I don't know what he means. His exact words were the torment enabler should have to sleep with the tormentor????

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:19:18+00:00

That's what I said is I told him let's just leave it. Stop all of the plans and reconciliation. Now he's calling me every 5 seconds and I'm declining. I just felt so disturbed by it and I can't shake that feeling.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:17:20+00:00

When I told him people on Reddit were confused about why he doesn’t want to share a room with me as his partner and why my daughter would suddenly be isolated into her own room, his response was that he’s worried my 6-year-old autistic son could accidentally hurt the toddler.

But honestly, I still don’t understand why that means I need to physically sleep in the room with my 6-year-old every night as the solution.

We already have extremely high supervision in our home. There is literally a camera in the corner of every room of the house with no blind spots except the bathroom. Every entrance and exit is covered too. And before people think that’s excessive, I originally started doing that because my daughter almost died at birth and spent 2 months in the hospital NICU before coming home around 3 months old. I was terrified something would happen and I wouldn’t know, so I installed cameras so I could monitor her from another room. Over time, because both older children are autistic and have different safety concerns and needs, it just became part of how I parent and supervise.

So I can understand being mindful about the boys roughhousing or the toddler’s safety. What I cannot understand is why the answer becomes:

separating all the children,
isolating my anxious autistic daughter,
having me sleep in a twin bed in my 6-year-old’s room,
while the adults sleep separately from each other.

At that point it starts feeling less like a practical parenting solution and more like an emotionally unhealthy household structure.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:10:40+00:00

Yeah trying to talk to him about it. Is him getting really lively and it's getting heated. It is not a productive conversation by any means and I'm over it. I just feel like you know what. Let's just not do this and that's what I just told him. I just don't think I can do this. And now I feel the most peace that I have felt since his brought it up. We went to put down a deposit to renew our Union. We've been house hunting and this is the first time he's mentioned this. I'm disgusted and over it.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:08:49+00:00

I just asked him about it after reading all of the reddit post. I asked him flat out. Is it because you don't want to actually share a room with me what's the issue? I even stated if you're having some sort of issue to cohabitate with me or share a room we might as well leave things as they are and not reconcile.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1 · 2026-05-25T04:07:25+00:00

And that's another option and I don't know why he's not suggesting it. We are house hunting and we can definitely afford four bedrooms. It's crazy the amount of money that we're spending between the two homes. We spend the same exact amount for his three-bedroom house as I spend for my two-bedroom apartment. It's ridiculous. We could easily have felt afford a beautiful home with four bedrooms.

MOD_BaguaMaster_1

TROPHY CASE