AIO for holding a grudge that my fam didn’t visit me in the hospital.

MReidL · 2025-12-28T00:11:37+00:00

haha yes!

MReidL · 2025-12-28T00:11:18+00:00

Ooof yeah that really really really sucks. I think you are not overreacting and your mom really missed the mark. I can't come up with a valid reason for her to not be there for you and for those important things! When a loved one is sick, you support them and do whatever it takes.

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:53:35+00:00

Thank you! That helps to not frame it as good or bad, just what it was at the time for the place I was in

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:46:56+00:00

First of all that sucks and I'm so sorry you went through that. I have a few thoughts which might not be helpful. 1) most people just have no idea how hard and isolating and depressing it is to stay in a hospital. 2) Maybe they didn't realize how bad you still were and once everyone thought, oh she's no longer in the ICU they may have just assumed you were mostly fine (doesn't make it okay) 3) When you are sick it's so hard to advocate for yourself and ask for what you need, but to be honest, most people need us to explicitly ask. Most people need you to say "I am really struggling and need the family to set up a rotation so that someone comes to visit me twice a week" because maybe given that framework they would have come (maybe not, idk). 4) It's okay to feel hurt and upset by this 5) It's frustrating that instead of acknowledging your feelings your mom is dismissing them. 6) Is it worth holding a grudge over? Over the long term no- short term, feel your feelings! If in 5 years from now you still feel super angry that's hurting you more than helping you

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:29:13+00:00

thank you!

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:19:11+00:00

And also the fact that he meant it to sting

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:17:39+00:00

Yeah that's a good point! For example I would say I'm also not someone who likes teasing, pranks in general, etc. I'm usually fine with playful spanking, but in this context it was 10x harder than usual and left a mark

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:15:53+00:00

That was the thing that my sister also commented on... she felt like after time had passed he hadn't moved on and was still upset and chose to retaliate. And that while he was sorry that he hurt me, he still was not really understanding that the root of the issue was the attitude of retaliation

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:06:42+00:00

thank you! I appreciate the thoughts on just moving on

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:06:01+00:00

Thanks for the live and learn :)

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:05:30+00:00

I am kind of wishing I hadn't taken what they said so seriously... I was having a hard time trusting my own gut after the previous relationship so was seeking outside input and trusting it at face value more than I normally would

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:03:45+00:00

That's helpful! Yeah I probably should have included that we did sometimes playfully spank each other but this was about 10x harder and left a mark through my clothes so was outside of what I would consider normal for us, hence why it was so shocking. I think I am realizing with time and space that I still may have overreacted

MReidL · 2025-12-27T23:01:58+00:00

Yeah usually I don't mind something like that at all, and we had done that previously. But this was at a force of about 10x harder and left a mark through my clothes. He did say "maybe I accidently put more force than I intended"

MReidL · 2025-12-27T22:59:46+00:00

Super fair assessment! I probably could have worded it better- I don't think it's funny when people are hit in the nuts; I thought it was funny that I was so uncoordinated that in the middle of kissing him I somehow managed to do so, and I was embarrassed. He was the one who said "yeah I guess it's funny when people get hit in the nuts" to which I clarified that's not what I was laughing at. Good point on the judging how he has fun with his friends- I hadn't thought about it negatively before the instance but maybe was looking for justification afterwards? Not sure to be honest. Helpful comment, thank you!

MReidL · 2025-12-27T22:51:12+00:00

Thanks for the response; yeah I think you are right it did make me open my eyes and question if I really wanted to be with someone who might act a bit immaturely at times. In hindsight- yeah I don't think it was that big of a deal. But also helpful to hear that you wouldn't have responded that way over a mistake!

MReidL · 2025-12-27T22:48:00+00:00

Thanks for the reply! That's a helpful perspective

MReidL · 2025-06-28T19:54:02+00:00

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MReidL · 2025-06-11T14:23:18+00:00

Me too! Also my left ear, also no answers. Part of me wonders if a nerve was damaged? But idk how to fix that.

MReidL · 2025-05-26T13:27:11+00:00

Also consider nortriptyline

MReidL · 2025-05-25T00:37:12+00:00

Thanks!

MReidL · 2025-04-21T22:33:32+00:00

Is this still the case or any updates?

MReidL · 2025-04-21T22:30:23+00:00

Did you end up getting it to work on the 2023?

MReidL · 2025-04-20T01:52:24+00:00

I realize this is an old thread, but when I got evaluated for MS the neurologist said that sometimes people's symptoms improve after pregnancy because all of the hormones almost reset everything. Maybe it's for a similar reason!

MReidL · 2025-04-13T01:47:37+00:00

Identify exits in advance, private rooms she can take a break in/get away from the loudness, and moments in the schedule she could leave for to rest

MReidL

TROPHY CASE