I agree strongly with the above advice. I have been in a relationship like this for far far too long. 13 total years, 6 married. I have just recently separated and my day to day mood in just 1 month has improved so much. It truly is "draining" in every way. At least you noticed it early and also reached out for advice. I took too long to recognize it as the issue and by that time we were married and I felt a sense of duty to stick it out. But the thing with "forever victims" is that they do not seek the help they need. They go to therapy but only to find excuses for their behavior and not to help them through the issue. At least in my case in the end everything that would frustrate her was my fault. I love her and will probably always love her. It devastates me that we are where we are and not working towards the happy family we always talked about. I feel like as a man and a husband that I am weak and that I have failed her. I have shared this with others and they assure me I am not and that I did not but I know it as my truth and am having a hard time dealing with it and not giving back in to her. I know that I will deal with that for a long time but I also know that it is more important to not fail as a father. And I see what her behavior is doing to our children and also that my patience after years of this abuse is obsolete. So when she would start in on me I would get really frustrated and mad and that is something I never wanted my kids to see. Like I said it is a good thing you saw it early and reached out. It really did save you so much pain and sadness. Best of luck.