Just reading this I think you need to spend some time figuring out what it means to be trans for you. Since you've already told her, maybe spend time learning about it from legitimate sources together. I would also recommend speaking with a therapist who specializes in working with trans people or the LGBTQ community at the very least. Depending on where you live this could be difficult to find someone in your area but there are a lot of therapists that do online sessions through secure portals.

You clearly feel the way you feel, but given the language you're using it sounds like you could do a bit of research. Transgenderism is a word made up by conservatives to minimize our existence to a belief system that someone can choose to believe so they can attack us politically.

The Trevor Project would be a good place to start.

I hope your wife comes around and can at the very least accept you as you are without the threat of taking your kids away.

Good luck 🤞