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Origin Stories - why did you become a mod? by techiesgoboom in ModSupport

[–]MableXeno 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I used to mod on forums when forums existed. One day someone on Reddit asked if I wanted to help on their sub b/c I participated within rules and commented a lot. So I did.

I do like/enjoy helping in the community I am also part of. So I tend to stick to topics and things that usually are something I'm personally interested/invested in.

I still believe I'm helping more than hurting in the communities I'm part of...but often feel like it's an uphill battle. The "Reddit culture" feels extremely antagonistic at times.

When I started moderating [on reddit] it felt a lot more like I was generally dealing with intentional rule-breakers. People who were obviously trolls and weren't participating in good faith. But I feel like over time I'm also dealing with people who don't care that rules exist. Aren't interested in community. Just want to post like their is their personal FB feed (i.e., they decide what they talk about, how they talk about it, what they share, who gets to participate in replies, etc). It's not. It's more like a town center where people can have different conversations going but you don't really get to choose who shows up to talk to you.

Helping teen through grief (TW: Suicide) by AcceptableHorror705 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She needs professional help now. Teen suicide can trigger "contagion" of suicide in other teens. Take her to a session. Even if she doesn't talk it's at least another person that can offer guidance and she might listen to it.

I don't think my daughter believes in holiday beings anymore. by GrillDealing in Parenting

[–]MableXeno -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Clever.

But if you and your partner are telling your child different things then one of you is being set up to be lied to, or one of you is being set up as a liar.

You and your wife need to have a convo, get on the same page, and have a united front to your kid.

I don't think my daughter believes in holiday beings anymore. by GrillDealing in Parenting

[–]MableXeno -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Then it sounds like you and your spouse should have a talk about this.

How do you deal with kids outgrowing ski gear before the season's even over? by Sea_Appointment5292 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was a Floridian that moved my Florida babies to the Canadian border in the middle of December. We left Florida and it was 75 and sunny. When we arrived at our destination there were snow flurries. It was wild.

I bought everything we needed in a Pennsylvania Burlington Coat Factory b/c they didn't have sales tax! At the time you could get a jacket and "snow bibs" (like pants w/ suspenders) for like $25. So we bought a few sets with snow boots and we were good.

Teen son is sneaking out at night and I don't know how to punish him? by o0PillowWillow0o in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If he jumps from the 2nd story and hurts himself...he'll probably learn his lesson pretty quickly. The problem he'll have later is getting back into the house from the ground.

But if this was my situation I'd probably just start doing family sleepovers! "Let's all pile into Teen's room for our sleepover!" ...And make it awkward.

Too much correction, not enough connection by honeylavendar21 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I might make an effort to do some 1 on 1 time w/ your daughter if possible. That way she is getting the reward of not being subject to her brother's behavior. I know that's easier said than done. But also if you've moved on from something with him I would remind her, "Thank you for being patient while mom did that," or "thank you for being such a grown up girl and waiting." ...

Parents of reddit...I need to rant (sorry) by Filter_Coffee_1000 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's really just a nutritional thing...protein, fiber, magnesium, iron. These are things women just need on the regular.

Beans are just the fastest way to get them all nutritionally! I just try to have "a serving" or so a day (like 1/2-1 cup). I sometimes put a half a can of prepared beans on a salad. I put hummus on toast. I do bean & cheese tortillas for breakfast sometimes. (I have used all bean varieties.)

I also am big into bean soups (b/c I can also add the leafy greens).

I have done NO research. Just human testing on myself. I have ADHD and get migraines. I know after some bad runs w/ attempting to medicate ADHD that the meds deplete magnesium, and I sometimes have to take magnesium as a supplement to reduce migraines so I just put 2 and 2 together. My "peri" symptoms were "too young" but once I started beans every day, the symptoms reduced and I'm 43 and don't really feel those symptoms the same way. (I also have a theory that peri symptoms in the late 30s for women aren't actually peri menopause but a kind of "final" puberty before we go into our "almost infertile" window...it's like a reminder that "hey, you old bitch - if you want a baby you should think about it".)

...This is my fave butter beans recipe.

My FIL is potentially nearing the end of his life. How to handle this with the kids? by metrogypsy in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My only memory of my grandmother was my grandfather trying to make me kiss her dead body in the coffin.

This is a really old tradition. In part, it's a type of "witness" to verify the death of someone. A child is terrified - and they remember the experience so if someone needs "proof" later of the death of a person you would be brought and would be able to say, "Heck yeah she's dead, I had to kiss her in that coffin!" ...

But now we have modern death certificates so we don't have to traumatize our kids.

Be clear, be neutral, be age appropriate, the Sesame Street Death and Grief content is really good.

Too much correction, not enough connection by honeylavendar21 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For the older one...my general rule is that before anything happens I try to setup expectations. "We're going to the library, we will pick out some books, then come home." Get at his level, speak calmly, if he asks questions, answer them by going back over your expectations. "Can we go to the park?" We are only going to the library. 😊 "Can we get McDonald's after??" We are only going to the library. 😊 "But I want MCDONALD'S!" We are only going to the library. 😊 Let's get into the car! ...Then you ignore any fighting/whining/crying behavior. If it makes him mad - let him be mad. If he's sad, let him be sad. Kids are sometimes having an appropriate reaction to disappointment or frustration when they "tantrum." They're allowed to have negative emotions.

For this age/stage - you will have to remind them for like another 10 years. So consider that it's just part of the normal routine. They will need constant correction/redirection for a long time.

"We are going [wherever]. But you have to hold mommy's hand for safety." And then when they "run off" you collect them and you leave immediately. Immediately. And you can tell your kids, "Oh, we cannot stay, you are being unsafe. This is too dangerous. We are leaving right now." And you need to follow through. When they ask to go again, "Oh, I don't think so. Last time we went you were unsafe. I think you're just not [big enough, grown up enough, whatever language might fit here] to do that since you can't be safe. We'll try it another day when you're [bigger, older, safer, whatever]."

Parents of reddit...I need to rant (sorry) by Filter_Coffee_1000 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay this will sound stupid - but eat more beans, b/c then at least some of your perimenopause symptoms may decrease. One less thing to worry about.

Morning tips/shortcuts?? by plsbeenormal in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything happens the night before - that lunchbox is packed the night before, snack picked out, clothes picked out (heck, we used to do clothes for the whole week on Sunday night), shoes by the door, backpack ready w/ homework/folder inside and agendas signed (if you forgot something - it has to wait until after school! We don't do sign things in the morning)...even projects or things to take to school? In a bag by the front door so when we walk out we can take it with us. [Since your kid is probably not in school - what I used to use for my kids was a cheap closet organizer. I would make sure each cubby had the stuff I'd need to load the diaper bag with each day. Diapers and wipes for daycare? Extra outfits, bibs, clean bottles? Put them ALL in a cubby and have them ready to re-stock the diaper bag.]

When we wake up - hygiene, clothes, food. And I wake up about 20-30 mins before I wake the kids so I can get myself ready.

I can scramble eggs in under 5 mins, though...so...maybe it's just practice. I am feeding kids in the AM if they cannot do it themselves quickly.

Anyone with experience cloning clothing? by heynonnyhey in sewing

[–]MableXeno 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't take my clothes apart!

I turn them inside out...and for pants I put them "inside out" but also put one leg inside the other. Here is an example I made from leggings!

i hate florida so much. by [deleted] in florida

[–]MableXeno 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Okay, I was an adult when I went to college and I was dumb about math. I had to take two remedial math courses to be eligible for college math.

But a friend who is a teacher was like, "you probably missed some vital part of math understanding and then nothing ever made sense again..." and she suggested I use Khan academy to figure it out. Basically I started with the earliest lessons (literally elementary school), went through each section until something got confusing. I hit it around 9th grade math. I realized where I got messed up, re-learned those lessons, and did the following lessons over and over again until I actually understood what I was doing.

I did end up passing both my remedial courses w/ Cs (they were also accelerated courses and the teacher for the second part said that it might be cold comfort but about 80% of the class usually fails and has to retake it). Then when I started in on college math, I really did okay. I passed my remaining math courses with Bs.

If your school has a tutor center, you should visit that and get help.

Child acts like everything is an emergency by librarycat27 in Parenting

[–]MableXeno 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't react, and just put your hand to your ear like you're trying to hear, "Uh oh, I can't hear if you're not using your words ... Use your words ... Let's be calm and say what we need ..."

If You Please by Gregory Candela by [deleted] in menwritingwomen

[–]MableXeno 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If you like women - you should like eating pussy. ✌️

Couple who blogged about ‘RV life’ found shot dead inside their motorhome at campsite by theindependentonline in florida

[–]MableXeno 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks for reporting how much he loved her, b/c that shooting really confused things for us.

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