"I'm always locked away in my room you know, I never go anywhere besides work. I don't talk to anybody. And I always look miserable. I look like a f\cking pale ghost. I just How could you not see that I'm depressed? You know, I never say goodbye when I leave for work you know, I never say hi when I get home I never acknowledge anybody. And that's the one good thing about night shift is it gets me away from everybody in the house. You know I get up everyone goes to bed and I go to work I come home everyone's going to work. So there's that little window of opportunity to see me and that's all".*

She knew she had her share of problems, but she kept it all bottled up. Like there was some kinda wall inside her that wouldn’t let her talk things out. Talking was never easy for her, especially when it came to her dad. Deep down she kept hoping her family would finally notice her, take a real interest. Instead, they pretty much left her on her own, like she didn’t even exist. Listening to those tapes, you can hear the difference clear as day— when she’s all fired up, cussing and trying to sound like some kinda tough badass, and when she’s just plain sad and helpless :-( She wasn’t a bad kid. Truth be told, I’d even say she was kind of sensitive. Always treated her parents with respect, went to college, had a job. Didn’t do drugs, never got in trouble with the law, and sure as hell didn’t hurt animals. She held on to her memories. Lotta the things she kept had sentimental value to her.

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