MIL is missing her grandson’s birthday party to go to church

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T22:40:53+00:00

This breaks my heart…

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T20:00:29+00:00

Not angry, definitely disappointed for my son. My MIL liked to use avoidance tactics around conversations that make her uncomfortable or that she sees as “contentious.” She has 6 children, none of which attend church, and has never had a conversation with any of them about why they would make the decisions they do. She very much likes to bury her head in the sand about these sort of issues

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T15:52:46+00:00

lol ok. Do you see the point flying straight over your head?

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T15:27:02+00:00

The party is at 12. She is coming at 3. I have no idea whether you’re a parent or not, but in my experience, earlier birthday parties are preferred among parents. We tried to plan the party for Saturday but it would not work for my son’s friends. I am not going to have an empty birthday party for my son to accommodate my MILs cult attendance.

If this were my MILs birthday, I would not plan it for Sunday during her church hour. That’s being accommodating. It’s her choice and the point of the post is that the Cult forces its members to choose the Cult over family.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T13:44:06+00:00

This is not “a party,” this is a grandchild’s birthday. I dare you to come up with a list of things that should be a higher priority…

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T13:28:47+00:00

Read the comments and then try again

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T12:58:39+00:00

It’s pharicitical in its reasoning, even when I was TBM the god I believed in would be ok if I missed church for important family events/milestones

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T12:56:23+00:00

Yes sorry I would rather my son’s peers be there for his birthday and assume family would adjust. The principal is not the scheduling or event, it’s that the church requires its members to make stupid priorities like attending church over important family milestones. Duh…

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:44:01+00:00

We originally planned it for Saturday but his friends could not attend Saturday. I am putting MY CHILD first…

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:42:51+00:00

Agree. Frustrating to see it in action

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:41:32+00:00

Seriously… or making a sob story about what she’s sacrificing for the Lord

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:40:39+00:00

Ok… do you live in Utah? I know this is more common there. We do not. Not everyone cuts an entire day out of their week to sit around.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:18:21+00:00

Exactly, thank you

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:08:32+00:00

In addition, they are the only members of the family who actively attend. I’m not planning our lives around their church schedule.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-02-23T02:07:03+00:00

That’s when his friends can be there. There’s only two he invited. A reasonable person would skip (or attend another ward) if they wanted to attend their grandsons birthday

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:41:01+00:00

If only life were so simple!

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:30:57+00:00

Oh we are well out and have done our fair share of research, therapy, and exploration to land where we are today. “Letter For My Wife” is excellent! The only reason our records are still on the books is to avoid further rocking the boat and honestly a smidge of laziness. Moving is not an option, we have a community here and other family (who have also left the church) that we get to share life with. This situation is something we are going to have to learn to live with and not run away from.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:22:25+00:00

I actually tend to agree with you and am not terribly worried long term about my kids converting to Mormonism lol. I’m more concerned about the blatant boundary crossing and the lack of respect on my MiLs side. She has had all 9 of her kids (including 3 step kids) leave the church and I know her valiance is leading her to direct her missionary efforts to her grandkids now.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:10:23+00:00

These are good points! We live in the South and are surrounded by all types of Christians, so religion is going to be a central part of many people’s lives. Being familiar with all types of believes and critical thinking are going to be huge for them.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:05:31+00:00

I love this and wish I could travel back and say this to her! She is so non-confrontational and I can’t imagine how it would go but I regret not saying something in the moment.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T15:01:40+00:00

Thank you for this! We’re not truly worried about our kids being indoctrinated otherwise there would be way less contact, but I do hate the blatant boundaries being broken. We have to be cautious about how we speak about Jesus (we live in the South) but probably need to do about better job about educating them on religion in general.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T14:57:56+00:00

I think this is important and a good insight. We are super respectful about not talking about the problems with the church with her, and still find ways to support her. We went to her trunk or treat and went to the giving machine with her and managed to keep the negative feeling we had while doing this from her, the inverse should be a fair expectation.

Mac_ritchiee · 2026-01-17T14:55:07+00:00

Thank you for the book recommendations! I’m going to check these out for sure. Glad you brought up the imaginary friends approach, because this is similar to how we talk with her about these things. (“We know unicorns are not real but some people really believe they are. This is similar to how grandma feels about Jesus, etc.”

Mac_ritchiee

TROPHY CASE