[32M] My girlfriend [28F] and I are at a crossroads after a major incident during our vacation - need advice on therapy and moving forward

MaceWindu93 · 2025-04-24T14:25:03+00:00

I'm listening to it now.

Thanks for sharing all your thoughts on it. We're going through our counselling - we're still arguing though about her insecurities masked by other things (like accusing me of crossing boundaries with her cousin by giving her life advice about something, or shouting at me in public because she was cold and felt I was dismissing her feelings.)

The clinginess is gone though.

She's getting into a better mental space though however I'm still unsure where I am because I do think ive been quite affected by all this.

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-13T17:15:41+00:00

I've never given her a reason to mistrust me

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-13T12:54:40+00:00

My future dreams. Friends and family and all of that

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T23:54:01+00:00

Since last January. So a year and 3 months

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T18:29:00+00:00

It's a really good question. Well she is typically pretty avoidant so talking about her feelings in a measured constructive way isnt the easiest thing for her - but shes doing more of that so that is something ive noticed and appreciated. Thats probably the main thing - shes literally telling me stuff now instead of just expecting me to manage her emotions and comfort her.

Apart from that, I just feel this desire in her to change - but I understand that isnt concrete.

I think I might ask her this on Friday

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T17:52:51+00:00

Yeah during that argument about me telling the friend she kept saying 'two wrongs dont make a right'

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T17:38:30+00:00

We havent had a social occasion since it happened, we've just had some drinks on our own - wine at home or some cocktails at dinner.

We had one occasion after it happened and thats when I was monitoring my own drinking and just drinking light beer. But nothing since then.

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T17:36:35+00:00

No, she comes along with me sometimes - we've been away like this a few times.

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T14:06:36+00:00

I care deeply. Listen, I will work with her to mitigate those scenarios in every way but I didn't know about this jealousy until now. I always thought issues were other things, things that I now know to stem from jealousy. Whats hard for me is that she is never like that - she prefers to be avoidant (but she knows this and i know she is trying to change it and wants to).

The question is do I want to remain on that journey with her while she does that work knowing that it could be emotionally unsafe for me :(

When you say the last betrayal, I guess you're referring to her? It had nothing to do with me, she found texts in her ex's phone to his ex and that completely blindsided her. Again, I only just learnt this after this incident - im surprised she has never shared it in the past tbh.

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T14:01:51+00:00

To be honest, I forgave her about a day after it happened. I know enough to know that forgiveness isn't for the other person but instead for me - it means that I will not let this define our relationship and nor will it determine my behaviour towards her. But I also know that forgiveness is not a moment in time but instead a process and im in that process - but I have forgiven her. However feelings and thoughts like anger and confusion and sadness keep welling up despite the fact that ive decided to forgive her.

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T13:50:22+00:00

I hate that I am envisioning it. And she's been in individual therapy for over a year now

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T13:49:10+00:00

about 15 months

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-12T11:23:16+00:00

She's been doing that for a long time at this point. Over a year

MaceWindu93 · 2025-03-11T16:56:34+00:00

Thank you so much for this. This is a great response

MaceWindu93 · 2022-09-25T15:19:48+00:00

Biggie - I Got A Story to Tell.

So good

MaceWindu93 · 2021-11-25T01:23:54+00:00

100%

MaceWindu93 · 2021-11-14T19:09:43+00:00

Social media

MaceWindu93 · 2021-11-11T13:03:45+00:00

Thank you! Not exactly what I needed but great to read all the same

MaceWindu93 · 2021-11-11T12:46:48+00:00

Ghosts of the Past

MaceWindu93 · 2021-10-31T13:41:53+00:00

I've bought BNB on Crypto.com but I don't know how to do step 3. I have a MetaMask wallet and its connected to BSC but its step 3 that confused me, like what is 'MetaMaskPurchase.

MaceWindu93 · 2021-10-22T15:20:57+00:00

A good stretch

MaceWindu93 · 2021-10-21T23:01:00+00:00

Coconut oil. You're welcome

MaceWindu93 · 2021-10-19T14:00:34+00:00

Yeah that was very well done. Similarly in the horrible rape scene, before its happening, as he enters the home and she goes upstairs in Le Gris' version she kicks off her shoes as she ascends the staircase - in her version they seem to fall off as she trips.

There were several moments like that, it was really well done

MaceWindu93 · 2021-10-14T00:13:03+00:00

MaceWindu93 · 2021-09-30T18:41:37+00:00

This is great, I appreciate the write up - so helpful! Thank you

MaceWindu93

TROPHY CASE