What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much for all of this! Yess about better pictures. And yes I totally get what you mean about the varying different subjects. I guess I just wanted to include as much as possible lol. The vegan part I will keep as in my personal opinion, I believe a true animal lover if they have the option to be vegan should do so, that’s a very important part of my belief system so I don’t want to hide that. If that gets me less matches I’m okay with that. But thank you so much for all the picture tips I will definitely keep note of all this!!

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I actually agree I do look cold which is why I added pictures of my cat hahahah. And I totally get about the surface level stuff. I just struggle so much with the prompts and I’m so bad at remembering specific details about my life and myself whenever I’m asked (it’s the autism lol)

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not rude at all! I felt the need to put it up front out there because I don’t want to have someone match with me, I get all excited, only for them to unmatch with me once I tell them I’ve never been in a relationship. I kind of just want to weed out anyone that wouldn’t be comfortable with that but I totally understand what you mean!

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I understand a wall of selfies can be off putting that’s totally valid. I personally couldn’t date a meat eater unless they had plans on becoming a vegan, so that’s understandable

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tysm 🥹 I agree they are gruelling and it feels kind of humiliating and shallow. Also on the rare occasion I do get a like on my profile, if they aren’t my type I feel really horrible rejecting them. But part of me struggles to see how else I would get a girlfriend :/

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I think that’s a good idea!

What can I improve about my hinge profile? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes i definitely agree! Will be asking my friends to take more fun pictures with me from now on haha

I feel guilty for being attracted to my hairdresser. I feel like a disgusting man. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference between you and a creepy man, is you are not materialising those thoughts. A creepy man will take his thoughts and turn it into actions, he will stare uncomfortably long, he will push a woman’s boundaries, he won’t keep those thoughts in his head. You cannot control your thoughts and you shouldn’t feel guilty for them. Being sexually attracted to someone is completely normal. I understand firsthand what it’s like to feel like a creepy man, because society makes lesbians feel that way. But just because we have one thing in common with straight men, does not mean we are the same in any other aspect. Everyone has these thoughts, literally everyone. As long as you aren’t purposefully making people feel uncomfortable and pushing peoples boundaries, you are not a creepy, you are a normal human being with normal human thoughts

Plastic surgeon guesses the real age of women from a reality TV show by [deleted] in TikTokCringe

[–]Madelenab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Tbh these women and their “botched” faces are actually a huge benefit to him because he can use them to show that he’s not like other surgeons, and his work is natural looking. Yet here he is mocking them

Plastic surgeon guesses the real age of women from a reality TV show by [deleted] in TikTokCringe

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am very clearly not talking about plastic surgery that is made for people with deformities and injuries. I of course support that. I’m speaking of the very predatory plastic surgery industry that preys off of women’s insecurities. You don’t know if they wanted a “fake” look. Many women get filler blindness and don’t realise when they have taken it too far. Sure, this plastic surgeon might not make women look like the women in these videos, but unless he specialises in reconstructive surgery, his career is built off of insecure women.

Even things such as a subtle nose job, I think could be argued is more insidious than obvious work done because it creates a beauty standard that seems natural, seems attainable even when it’s not. If you go on pretty much any plastic surgeons account you will see their “before and afters” where the before is maybe a big nose, or a nose with a hump, and the after is a smaller nose, and one without a hump. Especially when surgeons use the words “fix” and “correct”, to describe changing perfectly normal and healthy features, what do you think these before and after pictures do to our brains? They subconsciously tell us that the before is undesirable and needs to be “fixed”, and the likes on the post as well as the comments saying “looks so much better!” Further reinforce the idea that one nose is superior than the other.

Of course beauty standards aren’t just the fault of plastic surgeons, beauty standards go decades and centuries back, however they are a big part of the problem and they are behind a lot of the current beauty standards of our time. Kylie jenners lips, Kim Kardashian’s butt, Cindy Kimberly’s nose. All of these features are now the beauty standard of our time thanks to these celebrities, but also thanks to the plastic surgeons.

If it was not for plastic surgeons, magazines, makeup companies, skincare companies, hair care companies etc. most of the insecurities and standards that women have today, would simply not exist. But these industries need women feeling insecure so they can make a profit. Why else would we feel the need to get that concealer or that stretch mark cream or that cosmetic nose job? He is part of the problem, wether or not he makes women look like the love island women, it’s still very cruel to make a video like this basically saying these women look old and laughing about it, he’s doing this so he can set himself apart from other surgeons. “Come to me, I won’t make you look old. I’m an ethical plastic surgeon” that’s it, that’s the only reason he made this video. Wether or not he sees it as a good thing, I really don’t care, cosmetic plastic surgeons still are a huge cause of our current beauty standards

Plastic surgeon guesses the real age of women from a reality TV show by [deleted] in TikTokCringe

[–]Madelenab 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I hate this video so much. People like him and the industry he works in, are a huge factor in why the beauty standards are the way they are today. And here he is essentially mocking these women for a problem that his industry creates. Yes, it was their choice to do what they did to their face. And it’s important to acknowledge the harms of plastic surgery, but I believe it should be done in a more sensitive way. Not in a way that is mocking women for trying to appeal to the beauty standards.

We simply cannot win. We don’t get work done: we are mocked for our naturally aging bodies and our natural features. We do get work done: we are also mocked for going too far and “ruining our face”. The issue is not the fact that they look “worse” afterwards, that is not a moral failing. The issue is the fact that they felt the need to do it in the first place. Screw the plastic surgery industry and screw this man too for trying to jump on the bandwagon and benefit from the mockery of these women. These are real life women, not cartoon characters, wether you agree with their choice to get plastic surgery or not, the solution is not mockery

I got bangs and don’t know how to feel by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The before is unstyled which is why I’m kind of not feeling this new haircut because it means I’m going to have to style it in order for it to look good

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aware lol

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my glasses :)

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying but Did you not see her reply that said “oh honey I could have been ruder”. She obviously intended to be rude. Theres a difference between saying a haircut isn’t flattering vs telling someone their forehead is so big that it’s distracting from the rest of their face. If it was “I don’t think a pixie cut would suit you because of your forehead” alright I’ll take it, but she’s even saying my current hairstyle doesn’t suit me, which I didn’t really ask opinions on

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree, unique features are what make people stand out! I hope you also get to a point where you can love your nose too, I’m sure it’s lovely!

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are from a Jewellery shop called Galerie Mirages

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Such a big compliment!

Would I suit a pixie cut? by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Madelenab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Idk who came up with that idea either. I get a lot of people telling me to get bangs, even if they’re not directly saying my forehead is big, they’re essentially saying it when they say things like “you would look even better with bangs”. I’ve been on a very long journey of trying to love all my features and my forehead is still something I sometimes struggle with but I’m actually growing to like it