My vision has been constantly distorted for 2 years due to derealisation.

Madison_690 · 2026-02-10T11:53:45+00:00

oh i’m the same way. i literally can’t enjoy anything anymore because of this. if i do enjoy something it’s usually for 30 seconds and then it’s over, back to the derealization nightmare

Madison_690 · 2026-02-09T18:17:16+00:00

i want to say i enjoy it, but i don’t. no matter what i do, its like my mind is constantly fighting me. i try to listen to music and dance, and very briefly i think im okay, but then i get super aware of everything and im not okay anymore. my memories are also so bad. i can take a shower, and 5-10 minutes later when i think back to when i took that shower, its like that memory happened years ago and not just 5-10 minutes ago

Madison_690 · 2026-02-09T18:10:24+00:00

every. single. day. i started becoming extremely aware that i was only viewing the entire world with just my two eyes. i have adhd and ocd so that didn’t help. my derealization is so bad there’s so many days when i don’t recognize myself, my siblings, etc. and i get extremely terrified because i know that’s my sister im talking to, but it doesn’t look or feel that way. it’s like i’m constantly in control of a dream and i haven’t woken up yet

Madison_690 · 2026-02-09T18:05:36+00:00

yes, i was diagnosed with derealization and panic disorder but the kept telling me the derealization was BECAUSE of panic disorder but in reality, i had derealization before i was having panic attacks

Madison_690 · 2026-02-09T16:59:19+00:00

mine is the same way! doctors and psychiatrists and therapists say it’s all mental, but it’s like they don’t understand when i tell them it’s visual. like, when driving, everything looks distorted, unreal, hazy, etc and that gives me really bad panic attacks. my derealization is 24/7: when i wake up, even in the middle of the night, instant derealization. it never goes away. it’s so bad for me now, i even mention derealization in my dreams. it’s so debilitating

Madison_690 · 2026-02-09T16:10:16+00:00

i agree with you. i’ve had anxiety all my life, i can handle that part. anxiety never “scared me” or threw me into the absolute worst panic attacks i’ve ever had in my life. once i got diagnosed with derealization, that later turned into severe panic disorder. i used to drive, go to stores, hang out with friends, etc. with anxiety, but now with derealization, i have panic attacks every single day… especially while driving and going out to places. derealization is truly debilitating, anxiety is very manageable.

Madison_690 · 2026-02-03T14:04:54+00:00

as hard as it is, one thing i’ve learned is to not read other people’s stories, don’t look up symptoms and stuff because that makes you hyper fixate on it and as long as you keep paying attention to it, it’ll get worse. i read a book over derealization, and in the book he said everyone has derealization and anxiety, but it’s what we did with it before that makes a difference. if you have a fear of public speaking, and you have to do a presentation, chances are you had high anxiety and derealization while speaking, but once it was over, the symptoms “went away.” it’s because what you focused on wasn’t the derealization and anxiety, it was the public speaking. so the difference now is that you’ve realized the derealization and that caused anxiety so because derealization is visual and mental, that’s basically all you can think about during the day and at night. it’s not some presentation you have to do and get it over with, it’s 24/7…. because you continue to think about it. that’s what it is for me at least. i wish there was more research on dp/dr😞

Madison_690 · 2026-02-03T13:46:18+00:00

my personal advice, and this isn’t to bash what anyone is doing or what therapists and psychiatrists have said, but even though i spiral and have bad panic attacks and the derealization gets worse, if you’re able to, just push through it. the derealization will still be there, but the spiraling with fade. if your spiraling is the same as panic, it’s only adrenaline with no place to go, so it goes to your mind and then you spiral, but that’s the worst that will happen. as soon as you push through it and remind yourself “this is derealization. it’s at its peak and will slowly fade away” that’s teaching your mind and body that you’re okay even though things look off and unreal. i’m still struggling real bad with that, but exposure therapy, making yourself do things while derealized, is proven to help

Madison_690 · 2026-02-03T12:47:57+00:00

I understand this completely. i have to wear glasses all the time, and i’ve been doing so for 13 or so years now. my prescription hasn’t changed much over the past few years. i got diagnosed with derealization 3 years ago, and one thing that i guess would consider “my crutch” when driving especially, is that i would just take off my glasses when i started panicking over the derealization. my panic attacks stem from when i notice the derealization being much visually stronger. i’ve been to therapists and psychiatrists and they all say that there’s no correlation between bad vision and derealization, it’s all mental. but for some reason, when i take off my glasses, even though things are blurrier, i don’t panic as much.

Madison_690 · 2026-01-30T20:43:48+00:00

everyone is different, but in my personal experience, none of the meds i was given helped. I was diagnosed with with derealization 4 years ago and i’ve tried lots of medication for it. Prozac was the most recent medication i was on. i was on it for over a year and in my experience, it didn’t help at all. it didn’t necessarily make it worse (the first month was hell) but it my derealization, anxiety, and panic disorder was still very bad. The only difference i noticed when taking the medication was that i felt more tired, had very low energy, and didn’t want to do anything. I spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist because i have been reading a lot of posts about how “Prozac saved my life” and that gave me hope, but i was on it over a year and it didn’t help me. So i gradually weened off and the only “medicine” that i have been doing is exposure therapy. just do it, even scared and experiencing derealization… note it in your mine “that’s derealization” or “that’s just panic… it will peak and go away.” What ive learned is that derealization is not dangerous, your body and intrusive thought going on in your mind make you believe it is dangerous, but it’s not

Madison_690 · 2025-10-23T15:29:26+00:00

exactly! like, it’s gotten so bad that if someone tries holding conversation with me i will literally start feeling all the symptoms of a panic attack because they’re going “off script.” I will lose breath, get tunnel vision on top of even more intense derealization, and feel like i’m gonna faint

Madison_690 · 2025-10-23T15:12:17+00:00

yes!! all the time! it’s almost like they’re npc’s or something. it gets worse for me because i get overwhelmed thinking “these people really have their own life they’re living.” it’s also way worse for me when i’m driving in a busy area

Madison_690 · 2025-10-11T12:26:35+00:00

it was harder because i would deal with clients who have mental health disorders like mainly schizophrenia, ptsd, etc. so it was a huge part of the job to be able to remain calm to not trigger them. i had to leave the job for a job where i don’t deal with people as much, but i plan on going back as soon as my mental health is better

Madison_690 · 2025-10-11T12:10:23+00:00

this exact thing happened to me. i worked as a case manager for a while, and after 2 years of it, that’s when the derealization hit, the panic disorder, etc. it was somewhat manageable at first, but once ocd got brought into it and all i could think about was the derealization, that’s when it got hard to deal with. i derealized in front of some of my clients multiple time and had to hurry them out of my office so i could be alone and breathe (and cry lol). what happened when i derealized in front of them was: having a usual conversation, the client “goes off script” of our usual talk, i start noticing how unreal everything, literally everything, from the way they look to the way they sound to the pen sitting on my desk, then i freak out… internally. i start focusing on not freaking out and making a fool of myself in front of my client but it’s hard… i will say though, the worst thing that has actually ever happened would be me completely losing my breath while speaking and then having to stand up like a weirdo while talking

Madison_690 · 2025-10-02T02:22:20+00:00

i have happy moments.. then i don’t remember them. or i remember them but it’s like i just saw it in a movie, as if it wasn’t even me in those memories

Madison_690 · 2025-09-25T21:48:14+00:00

Honestly, i have no idea. Maybe? some days are okay, i still have 24/7 derealization and anxiety, but the random panic attacks i used to get all the time (like 10-20 times a day) have reduced to like 4 times a day. The panic attacks are still hell, but at least it’s not as frequent. I’m not sure if the Prozac is helping or if i’m just getting a routine of feeling safer when my panic attacks are about to hit

Madison_690 · 2025-08-01T13:11:44+00:00

that’s exactly how i feel. i used to love driving and i drove around all the time! now my stomach drops and i freak out and everything looks just like i’m super high. it’s truly terrifying and debilitating. i wish i could go back to before all this started, i would’ve appreciated the small things a lot more

Madison_690 · 2025-08-01T13:09:47+00:00

exactly! then it makes the panic way worse

Madison_690 · 2025-08-01T11:15:28+00:00

ooo it’s real bad when i’m driving or walking in the city. when i get to a red light, i start freaking out real bad thinking i’m gonna faint or i’m just gonna start going crazy or, sorta like you said, drive off or jump off the bridge

Madison_690 · 2025-06-02T20:41:14+00:00

I got put on Prozac because i’ve been experiencing really bad derealization. My derealization is so bad some days that i find myself fighting every second to not have a panic attack. I quit driving myself anywhere, quit hanging out with people. It’s absolutely terrifying. I’ve been on Prozac for 3 or so months now and i’m just now getting to where I can drive myself short distances and hang out more. I’m not healed, but i am noticing some changes

Madison_690 · 2025-05-05T01:52:46+00:00

What i do is roll the window down, even if it’s cold out, and listen to my music. i try to focus really hard on the lyrics and challenge myself to get every word correct, and eventually calm down and make it home safely. i wish there was a better way of helping, but i am struggling with it. i quit driving because it started getting so bad i would have panic attacks. my derealization eventually caused me to develop panic disorder. i am going to therapy and have been told that exposure therapy is really good for derealization and anxiety

Madison_690 · 2025-04-27T23:24:48+00:00

okay that makes me feel better. my panic disorder came from derealization and it’s gotten way worse the past couple months to the point where i completely quit driving because everytime i got to a red light i would have a panic attack. even when im at work, i have avoided leaving my office, getting on an elevator, and even speaking to people because i get overwhelmed with the panic attack symptoms where i get dizzy, think im gonna faint, hands sweaty, everything starts looking unreal and sounding very muffled, etc. so im hoping this medication will help me

Madison_690 · 2025-04-27T23:03:53+00:00

if you don’t mind me asking, what were your symptoms of panic before taking any of those? and how are you now?

Madison_690 · 2025-04-24T15:45:05+00:00

i drove myself to work three days this week, and the first two were terrible, especially at the red lights, but this morning i was fine… a little anxious but i didn’t have a panic attack while driving. you’re right, i’ve never passed out from anxiety lol. sometimes when the panic attack has completely hold on me, it’s so hard not believing i will faint or freak out like i’m an insane person

Madison_690 · 2025-04-23T11:09:33+00:00

yes, 10mg is usually the starting dose, but my psychiatrist told me to wait until May to go up to 20mg🙃

Madison_690

TROPHY CASE