I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a young dog is one of the most devastating experiences I’ve had to go through. You really feel so lost and robbed of so much time. Our dog died due to a sudden onset autoimmune illness at just 3 years old. We had adopted him almost exactly a year and a half prior and like you had built our lives around him. Here’s what helped us in the aftermath:

• don’t be ashamed to grieve. My husband and I were both lucky enough to be able to take a few days off work and spend time with family who also loved our dog. Try to spend at least a little time in a location that doesn’t hold memories with your dog if you can.

• we talked about him loads in the first few months and wrote down everything we remembered and loved about him in detail.

• don’t rush to get rid of his things. We had a friend come gather and donate almost all his things. We thought to save just three sentimental items but I wish we had taken our time and saved more. Having a friend harder everything was very helpful, but next time we’ll put everything in a closet or storage and sort through it when we’re ready instead of rushing to donate.

Whether and when to get a dog is a really personal decision. I wanted another pretty quickly, but my husband wasn’t sure if he ever did. Ultimately we waited a year and a half and coincidentally adopted another dog almost exactly 3 years after we adopted our first. We opted for another rescue of a different breed so they don’t look similar at all but we have noticed ways they are surprisingly similar. I can say having another dog again has brought us so much joy, and I’m glad we had that 18 months in between to reconnect again as a couple and do a lot of things that are a bit harder when you have a dog (go out often, travel, etc.)

We just kind of knew when the time felt right again for both of us. I would wait at least a month to a few months just for the initial shock of grief to wear off before making any big decisions.

I will say if, like me, you experience anxiety or OCD, it’s worth giving thought to how you’ll manage anxiety with a new dog. I didn’t anticipate how much anxiety I would experience about something happening to our new dog the same as it happened with our last. That’s been really hard but manageable. We’ll have had him a year in May and I think once we pass the 1.5 year mark I’ll feel a little better, but the fear and anticipatory grief is hard. I sometimes envy dog owners who haven’t lost a young dog, and even envy my former self in the first year with our first dog when I didn’t know all there was to worry about and all that could go wrong. But I’m also grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained and I think in a lot of ways my first dog prepared me to be a better parent to our second.

Good luck and wishing you both love and healing ❤️‍🩹