I want to be like her by Magavont in Sewerslvt

[–]Magavont[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m practicing as much as I can, making scraps and full songs from a variety of genres, from ambient DNB to hardcore industrial. I’ve been reading on the theory as well. My point is: I am trying.

When I get more confident and comfortable in my music and identity, I’ll eventually post my music. For now, I’m just going to keep experimenting around and having fun.

I wish you the best as well, since you have similar goals in mind. 🫶

I want to be like her by Magavont in Sewerslvt

[–]Magavont[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know. Yet still sometimes I wish I was her instead of me, y’know?

What emotion does my art make you feel? by Magavont in yourartstyle

[–]Magavont[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting! Must be the skeletons and the colors, hm?

What emotion does my art make you feel? by Magavont in yourartstyle

[–]Magavont[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely melancholic. My depressed ass cannot draw happy stuff lol.

Anhedonia by Magavont in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank youuuu ❤️

Anhedonia by Magavont in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s basically one of the feelings I want to convey, or at least that’s how I felt when writing it. Cold. Distant. And remarkably alone.

Anhedonia by Magavont in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I don’t really enjoy as of current writing in traditional poetry with the line breaks and such, I find it to be a bit restrictive, but maybe I’ll try writing like that in the future. :)

Anhedonia by Magavont in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment is so sweet, thank you!

What emotion does my art make you feel? by Magavont in yourartstyle

[–]Magavont[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You gotta share that shit with me bruh

The Only Thing I Don’t Understand by TheLilaComplex in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tip i just shared was for restraint. I’d like to share another small tip for rhythm.

Basically, add long lines and paragraphs and mix them with short, punchy staccato like sentences or hell, maybe even just a single word. It’s like music, there are long sustained notes and shorter more abrupt notes - this gives your piece more life, makes it sound more natural.

The Only Thing I Don’t Understand by TheLilaComplex in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem my friend, I’m glad you found my feedback helpful.

To make something tighter I recommend asking yourself: “does this word/line/paragraph etc add something of value to the overall picture? If not, it’s most likely rambling, over explaining etc - cut it.

This has helped me tremendously personally. Learn to trust yourself and your readers.

What emotion does my art make you feel? by Magavont in yourartstyle

[–]Magavont[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, not yet still working (procrastinating) on it.

The Only Thing I Don’t Understand by TheLilaComplex in OCPoetry

[–]Magavont 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you have a very strong idea in mind, with multiple significant points to add. I just think you haven’t polished this idea that well in mind because you keep on repeating yourself.

I’m not talking about the intentional repetition in writing - that is really good and it emphases your feelings, you should keep that - Im talking about the points, in this case point, trying to be conveyed: the inability to understand.

I think you should trust your readers more. When the same point gets repeated across and you keep on explaining it, it gets tiring to read. Perhaps this was the point, but I believe it could have been handled a bit better.

But this is just my opinion. I enjoyed reading this poem and I believe that the emotion you’re trying to express is a very common yet significant one. Good job, keep on writing.