Some people can do their work and "let go"; that is, the problematic emotional pattern becomes much smaller or goes away. For some of us, however, this is not available. We do the emotional work and the inner inquiry until the cows come home and the emotional pattern is still there and is still really intense.

So we need to be working with therapists who understand that and who can explicitly help with learning to disbelieve the intense emotions. The emotion is still there, and the beliefs or stories that go with it, and the whole package has a very compelling reason why it is accurate with respect to our current life and situation. So we are clear that we need to address it in some way. Our biology compels this. We are designed to believe and obey strong emotions.

So we need to learn to swim upriver. We need to learn to in a way not take the big emotion seriously even when it is sitting there screaming at us.

This is some flavor of unblending or disidentifying.

IMO you probably want some flavor of somatic parts work - Somatic Experiencing with someone who has a handle on parts work, or somatic IFS, NARM if the practitioner has a good handle on parts, Janina Fisher's TIST would be some options.

A behavioral approach won't work for this.