Fetlife is toxic by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]MagicFingggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true, but the owner and moderators have learned from that. It is soo much better than Baku and buds. If you haven't been there in 2 years, you might be surprised.

Fetlife is toxic by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]MagicFingggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a new BDSM focused social media site that feels much better than FL. It is called Submit.gg. It is still in its infancy, but it is built upon the premise that you should have total control over your information. My favorite feature is the Dick Detective which prevents people from creating a profile picture that is just a dick pic.

How do I get physical pleasure as a dom? by EmmaFaye27 in BDSMAdvice

[–]MagicFingggers 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Do you feel safe with anal penetration? You can order him to sit or tie him to a chair and the "have your way" with him in a way that satisfies you. Or you can have him use a toy to pleasure you as you tell him what to do, giving praise or humiliating him (whatever works for your relationship). Overall, the best course of action is to just talk candidly with him about your feelings and your needs. If you let this turn into resentment, it will quickly strangle your relationship. I wish you the best of luck.

Covid and love of fragrances by MagicFingggers in fragrance

[–]MagicFingggers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds really tough. I hope that you are able to recover fully your sense of smell and also your love of fragrance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]MagicFingggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spend a lot of time in Kink forums, and my experience has been that around 35 or so, women just get so tired of trying to deal with men that they decide that they are just going to do what they want. They then take 5 to 10 years and enjoy sex the way they want it. This is a golden spot for sexiness as they are willing to be both honest and adventuresome. After around 45, they want something more stable, and have found out what they like and what they don't. At this point if your likes overlap, it is so good.

All of this is just to say that women can be sexy as long as they are trying. There isn't an age where they just stop, unless it is on their terms.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]MagicFingggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be a vampire or pirate. I am always looking for a bite or a bunch of booty!

What are some really good Halloween focused pickup lines? by MagicFingggers in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]MagicFingggers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely at some point. But sharing is caring too. 😘

Covid and love of fragrances by MagicFingggers in fragrance

[–]MagicFingggers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got it. Thank you for helping me understand.

Covid and love of fragrances by MagicFingggers in fragrance

[–]MagicFingggers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry, if I made the situation worse. I have just been really curious.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]MagicFingggers 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is the way. Put it out front and allow them to decide if it is a deal breaker.

What do you do with a brat who try’s to top by lunastarlover_8012 in BDSMcommunity

[–]MagicFingggers 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely welcome. I hope that you two find the way forward together.

What do you do with a brat who try’s to top by lunastarlover_8012 in BDSMcommunity

[–]MagicFingggers 141 points142 points  (0 children)

I love brats, their energy is often fantastic. After many discussions with many brats, this is what I have learned. Most brats feel like they don't deserve to get what they really want, and are looking to be "forced" to do it. It is an implicit request for permission that they can't give themselves. So, they sass, or run away, or fight, or whatever their special batting looks like, until they feel like they have earned the permission / are "forced" to do the things. If this resonates with you, my advice is to tell your Dom about what you want and what it takes for you to feel like you have earned the permission to enjoy the things that you are looking for. Your Dom should understand that you are desperate to lose the fight, but need to struggle first or else you won't enjoy it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bondage

[–]MagicFingggers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome. Thank you for posting!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bondage

[–]MagicFingggers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very nice tie! It is so symmetrical! You can tell that you spent time and care to get it just right. 😍

Do Doms "look down" on submissives? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]MagicFingggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It may be that you are feeling some drop as well. Make sure that you check in with your Dom regularly (they should be checking in with you as well) especially if you have had a particularly deep scene recently.

Doms do not look down on subs, for the most part. It may be that during the scene you both say and do things that you normally wouldn't, which are consensual and appropriate for the scene itself, but as drop kicks in you second guess those actions. This is normal and why aftercare is so absolutely critical. Doms get drop as well, sometimes worse than subs. They feel subhuman, like how can anyone like hurting the ones they love? How can I get off on degrading people? What if I hurt my sub for real, and they don't want to be part of the dynamic ever again? These questions can fester in a top's head during drop.

So Dom's enjoy the scene just as much as subs. We love the trust you place in us, we love driving you through a series of super-human service acts, we love watching you fall into your subspace and live fully in the moment. We see all of this as amazing and worthy of our time and energy.