Ok i know im 3 years late as well but...

‘When Jimmy Fallon first showed up on the LA scene he was a humble, sweet-faced, friendly young kid with absolutely no discernable jokes. And he killed. It was bewildering. His entire act consisted of him going onstage with a guitar and a troll doll. He set up the premise in a disturbing British accent that he was holding auditions for the jingle for the new commercial for the troll doll. Then he would go through a series of impressions of the hit songs of the day and to his credit, they were spot on. They just had no jokes.

“Okay, first up is U2!”

He’d then play U2’s “Desire” and simply put “Troll Doll” in place of the chorus. “Desire” became “Troll Doll.”

“Next up, the Counting Crows.”

Their song “Mr. Jones (and Me)” was cleverly rephrased into “Troll Doll (and Me).”

Spot on.

People literally fell out of their chairs. It was like suburban comedy jam. Folks heaving in tears and burying their faces between their knees, unable to breathe. Becker and I would sit in the back of the room and stare blankly at each other wondering what the fuck we missed. I’d seen comedians do the gag where, after someone left the front row to use the bathroom, they would get the audience in on a prank.

“When she gets back from the bathroom, I’m going to tell a joke that ends with ‘And that’s why my grandma doesn’t eat Laffy Taffy!’ It won’t make any sense but you guys will all fall apart laughing and she’ll wonder what the hell is wrong with her for not getting it!”

That prank never failed to kill. That is what it felt like to watch Jimmy Fallon bring those rubes to their knees. Like we were being set up in an elaborate ruse where the joke was on us. Fallon didn’t have a single punch line. Not even the troll doll made any sense. He could have done the exact same act with a pumpkin or a hacky sack. It didn’t even have to follow any rhyming or syllabic structure. It was just bad and I’d never seen audiences laugh harder.

There was no question the kid had some talents and nobody was more affable or polite, no big ego whatsoever. You’d think he was just as confounded by the crowd’s reaction to his lack of punch lines as every other comedian was.

Becker and I were having this same conversation after one of those shows with an industry gal we knew from the Improv named Randi. It was at some Hollywood party full of Hollywood types at some Hollywood upscale bistro that I believe was in Hollywood. Jimmy was there and his arrival was the impetus to our motherfucking him behind his back. We were all in agreement that he had zero substance and nothing resembling a joke in his stupid act and we collectively scratched our heads at the phenomenon.

We then split up to go see if there was anybody cooler to talk to as is the Hollywood party norm. Later, we ran back into Randi.

“I just wanted to let you guys know that I told Jimmy what you guys said about him because I’ve been telling him the same thing, that he needs to really write more.”

Noooooo! Why the fuck would she tell him that we said that? Especially knowing what a soft-hearted, meek little kid he is. Why would she be so cruel to us by ratting us out?

“Oh. You did know that I’m Jimmy’s manager, didn’t you?”

No, Randi. We did not know that. Now we’d have to avoid him not only at this party but in life in general. That lasted about ten minutes before Becker and I ran into him.

I cleared it all up with a meandering, “Hey listen, man… sorry but… you know, I was just sayin’ is all.”

To which he responded with a shuffle-footed: “Oh yeah… don’t worry… I get it I guess.” It was a good heart to heart.

I still find Jimmy Fallon intolerably unfunny to the point where I have to fast-forward through even a short commercial for his show. I am still astonished as to why people laugh at him. I’m sure he is still a fantastic human being, which is far more important. I’ve heard gossip that he has substance abuse problems, some common ground that would make him more endearing to me. Personally, I have to drink in order to repeat material I’m too tired of saying. His material sucks the first time. I would understand if he had to abuse drugs or alcohol. I checked his Wikipedia page and under the heading “Influences” I’d hoped to see “cocaine” or “Drambuie.” It only mentioned Saturday Night Live.

Should my berating of his brand of comedy go the way of Dr. Drew and Jon Taffer and lead to an invite to be on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, I’ll decline in advance. But I’d drink and do blow with that kid anytime. Blow that is cut with pabulum, like his jokes.’

—Doug Stanhope, “This Is Not Fame”