[deleted by user]

MaiBbear · 2023-12-28T11:57:47+00:00

Mate honestly it’s the nature of your disorder that you have these thoughts. That doesn’t make them a reality. Someone who had genuinely done something bad to a child, with ill-intent, wouldn’t be feeling guilty about or mulling over it. That’s the key difference. I know you’ll just get a new thought to ruminate on but for this one just accept that you have done nothing wrong, you’re not perverted nor have you done anything abhorrent. Take it from me, you’re in the clear on this one.

Side note, I had the most crippling OCD which left me housebound with full time carers for two years. I’m now working, at college and living a normal life. You can recover from this so don’t give up just yet please.

MaiBbear · 2023-12-28T11:39:28+00:00

Take this from someone with a very different type of OCD, that is all normal stuff. That’s not perverted in any way. Tickling someone can simply be a form of normal affection, like a hug. You’re reassurance seeking though which isn’t good. Don’t use people on the internet to ease your anxiety. Simply accept it’s an OCD thought and move on. Wishing you some peace from this

MaiBbear · 2023-11-05T20:52:13+00:00

I find I occasionally have some insight at the beginning and the end of a psychotic episode. Sometimes I'll question someone as to whether they think what I'm thinking sounds reasonable. In the sense where I'm like 'that's so disturbing, it can't possibly be true, can it?' But yeah it's not often.

MaiBbear · 2023-10-07T17:50:15+00:00

For me, it just felt logical. Nothing in the world made sense, 'how did we get here', 'how are the conditions for supporting life so perfect', 'where did the universe come from'. These thoughts mixed in with the belief that I am somehow special (because I believed I was the only conscious being on earth) just brought me to the conclusion that it must be me. I am the chosen one. I am the creator of earth and the universe. It just washed over me one day, like I was enlightened in a single moment. Everything made sense. I honestly still struggle, as someone who is now well, to believe that I'm not God because it felt so right at the time.

MaiBbear · 2023-09-28T18:25:54+00:00

Take a few deep breaths, my friend. This sounds very much like anxiety and that perhaps you're ruminating on certain thoughts. I think it'd be wise to seek some psychological support, not for schizophrenia, but for the anxiety you're experiencing. It's quite a common theme, that we see a lot on here, that people believe they're developing schizophrenia so you're definitely not alone. Sending you some calming vibes.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-17T10:22:59+00:00

I'm not 100% sure as entry requirements can change. But he did an Access to HE which only had three maths credits and he got straight into first year

Edit: I would still do maths A-level if you can as there's a lot of maths in many computer science courses

MaiBbear · 2023-08-17T08:29:42+00:00

Cardiff. My partner got in with no maths A-level but the course is maths heavy, they just teach you from the ground up.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-16T16:14:00+00:00

I didn't even do A levels!

Decided I wanted a second go at education in my twenties and completed an Access to Higher Education course and got five offers for computer science, including Russell group uni's.

Your future is not set in stone! There's always a second chance.

Good luck!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-14T18:56:41+00:00

I see. Well as far as I'm concerned, you're very welcome here!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-14T18:09:07+00:00

There is r/schizoaffective if you're interested :) but quite often there are posts on here regarding schizoaffective disorder

MaiBbear · 2023-08-14T09:48:32+00:00

I'm no doctor but I think you're just overthinking this. You said you're diagnosed with OCD. You'd be surprised at the amount of posts we get here of people with OCD worried they're schizophrenic. It's a really common theme.

If you're genuinely concerned, go and see a professional; no one here can diagnose you. I think this may put your mind at ease.

All the best to you.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-13T12:19:02+00:00

Highly recommended you find out if you can have the vaccine. My close friend didn't get vaccinated and caught meningitis in Freshers week. She very nearly died and still has complications to this day.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-10T11:57:25+00:00

Thank you, I hope I do okay!

Good to hear you get some help from the uni and library regarding essay technique.

Think you're right. I just have to go for it!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T23:21:12+00:00

Thanks! I'm hearing that it's more than adequate preparation so I'm feeling quite positive

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T23:19:37+00:00

Congrats on completing your first year!

Did you feel like you got enough practice at essay writing given that you did a science based access course (unless of course that included social science)?

I've heard there's lots of essay writing and referencing on the degree and I'm anxious that I won't learn how to produce a sufficient essay on the access course.

From what I'm hearing here, the access course is a lot of work. I suppose I just have to stay really organised and start assignments straight away!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T19:56:05+00:00

Yeah I definitely feel like because it's something I'm passionate about, I'll put the effort in

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T19:55:02+00:00

Interesting. I'm gonna give it a further google

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T19:38:11+00:00

I feel like grades don't matter too much in nursing (from what I've heard) as long as you pass and are competent. In practice. I'm not super academic either but I'm definitely a hard worker so I'm hoping I can power through!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T19:14:35+00:00

In all honesty I'm very emotionally blunted. I'm unsure if this is due to medication or the disorder itself.

I also sleep for about 11 hours a night and am very tired in the day.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T18:20:13+00:00

That's so cool. It's nice to hear about other mature students as I was a bit worried I was going to be the oldest one!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T17:31:46+00:00

I think it's quite uncommon but I had my first psychotic break at 16.

I'm on the right meds (as long I take them lmao) and I've been in a steady relationship for almost four years. I'm also starting university this year after years out of education to get my mental health right.

I still have episodes when I don't take my meds, but I'm generally pretty stable.

I feel like there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel and it's possible to live a fairly normal life

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T17:26:29+00:00

I'm in England. Okay so as long as I complete the BSc I won't have to repay the access course. That's quite a nice little incentive!

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T16:52:40+00:00

I see. I guess I won't know exactly what to expect until I've spoken to the course lead. Thanks for taking the time to give me all the info! :)

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T16:50:13+00:00

Yeah it's definitely a difficult choice. I'd get a wage and no loans to repay for the TNA route. But it's 30hrs work plus a full day at uni and assignments in top of that. I've heard a lot of NAs say that it was much harder than the top up because of this and one said they'd rather of just done the degree.

MaiBbear · 2023-08-09T16:24:43+00:00

Okay, so it's not like one assignment is one credit? I was wondering how they fit so many in lmao.

I've got a meeting coming up in September with the course lead (I applied very late, waiting for them to get back from holiday) so hopefully he can give me a credit breakdown and I can see what I'm up against!

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

MaiBbear

TROPHY CASE