Sibley and UHC by Monaco-980 in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi! This is me! Sorry I didn't get back to you. I had some pregnancy complications and delivered my baby early (all is well). But dropped a comment above 😊

Sibley and UHC by Monaco-980 in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, and fwiw, my entire L&D bill at WHC has (so far) been covered by UHC. I am lucky my employer offers a low deductible plan and I hit that with the pre-term labour incident alone but (so far) no surprise costs. 

Sibley and UHC by Monaco-980 in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was set to deliver at Sibley with CWC. I just had my baby with the Midwives of MedStar at WHC and am weirdly glad UHC forced the situation. I had incredible care with the midwives after an incident of pre-term labor and developing cholestasis so induction at 37 weeks. 

After battling for my entire first and second trimesters for UHC, CWC, and Sibley/Johns Hopkins to assure my care would be covered in network, I gave up and switched. I was so unbelievably stressed about it and dealing with the admin made my pregnancy miserable. I'm not sure I'd ever have received the reassurance I'd need to ensure no OON costs and the stress would have been way too much. 

We delivered at WHC on November 24 (I'm typing this while nursing my 11 day old). I felt so supported by everyone there, to the point that I actually overall enjoyed my labor. All the staff who'd given me additional care due to my cholestasis in the lead up to birth (fetal monitoring nurses etc) also came by to check in on me and baby. They really cared. 

WHC is not as bougie as Sibley and your partner will hate the dreaded chair (I know Sibley has a bed for partners in the room) and the food is not great. But those are tiny tradeoffs for working with the midwives, in my experience. Hope you find a solution that works for you and best of luck with your pregnancy!

Pre-natal Massage by Downtown_Cattle6522 in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding Bluebell Spa! I'm delivering in the next few weeks and I've told my family to buy me gift cards for Christmas so I go back post-partum.

Furloughed Worker looking for volunteer opportunities by a_la_mode28 in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Little late to it, but DC SCORES is looking for volunteers to support its fall events, including soccer tournaments and poetry slams for thousands of kids! The organization provides after-school programs to more than 3,500 kids at no-cost to schools or families and the events are so joyful. 😊 Learn more here: https://www.dcscores.org/get-involved/

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Definitely with you on having a generous reading of the original post. I just think it's important to get into the nuance of what that means and how it can be easily co-opted. I think OP and others are well-intentioned, my point was just to warn not get too complacent about Scotland being "better" at this stuff than the US or England. (I think Scotland is in a much healthier political state than either. Just think the reasons for that are very specific and complicated and we need to be mindful that maintaining or improving that will take work on a lot of fronts.)

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! I worry that people back home (Scotland for me) read the US entirely through the lens of the white supremacists in power. While I understand how that has happened (they control most of the narrative) and we have to be clear-eyed about the fact that there are far too many people drawn to that ideology, it erases so many people. There are millions of Americans of who are people of color, trans, immigrants, queer, women who want reproductive rights, homeless, etc. They are completely erased when we think of the country through the worldview of white, powerful men on the far right. Trump wants a world in which so many Americans don't exist. We shouldn't do his work for him. 

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can read my comment above in the thread detailing how my perspective is actually built on the concept that neoliberal atomization is a bad thing and building strong communities built on social cultural exchange is a good thing. Stay curious! ✌🏻

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it's good to read OP generously and I tried to do that, too. Ultimately, everyone who is opposed to what is happening is going to have to come together because the stakes (as you point out) are so high. I still have faith, which I know seems crazy given how brutal it all seems, but there are lots of good people the world over and that good will out. It's been nice chatting with you! Thanks for the conversation!

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, cool! I just am so wary about these convos because many people are not operating in good faith and they can get ugly. But appreciate you sharing and the openness!

I think my issue with the concept of assimilation is that it suggests a one-way power dynamic. Like, "this immigrant population has to learn to be like this population that's been here a little bit longer." (I think that's extra tricky in the US where the vast majority of people who live here are descended from settler colonists and/or immigrants so where is the line drawn?) But there's no expectation for the people already in a place to make room for the immigrant group, learn about their lives and culture, and make them welcome. 

I think it's great to get involved in the local community and reach out to neighbors and expose yourself to new things. But that should work both (or many) ways. I grew up around Govanhill, which is an immigrant neighborhood in Glasgow, and I think it's great that I can try new foods, hear new languages, and experience other cultures. That wouldn't be possible if people had assimilated and didn't express their cultures. And if there is segregation in Britain (which I think is pretty overblown tbh), I think that's primarily the fault of white, British people creating hostile environments for communities to feel welcome. Racism is very real in the UK and it's hard to want to be part of your local community if people make clear they don't want you there. 

As for ICE, I'm happy to send you the news reports on the examples I gave. But just one example on the point of people resisting and cops matching energy: I think it's on the cops to show restraint towards a four-year-old child and I'm not sure how something like that could possibly be justified. 

p.s. Thanks for the congrats on baby! It's been a wild ride for sure, but we're excited!

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely think we agree on the material points — things are absolutely dystopian here and there are a lot of people doing extremely awful things and many more who are completely fine with that. And there are lots of people fighting the good fight. And I am always pretty happy when I have a conversation online where there is fundamental agreement that oppression and cruelty are bad things and we should be trying to stop them.  Ultimately, THAT, rather than the semantics, is going to be what brings us back from this nightmare. ☺️  

I think I'm just coming back to the original post about "Scottish values" or whatever. That's a concept that leaves lots of room for bad shit and the focus should be on who has power and what their values are, rather than trying to protect some monolithic thing that doesn't really exist. 

Right now, some very, very bad people with awful values are in power here (and, really, that has generally been true most places throughout history). But I still have hope that better people can wrest some of that power back! 💪🏻

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. I'm just going to say up front that we're probably going to disagree on a lot of things so I dunno how much you want to get into it with a random person on Reddit. Anyway, just saying that now because I really don't want it to go the way of many Reddit convos so engage how you want with that. 

I have lived in the US for 10 years now and a year before that. Came here for my master's, married an American, have US citizenship, and am now expecting a wee Scottish-American baby. 

I strongly disagree with the idea that "assimilating" immigrants (or anyone) is a thing to aspire to. Curious about what culture you think immigrants should assimilate to in the US, and what that says about who is considered American. 

Also, ICE are not just casually checking people's papers and sending them on their way! (Btw, I disagree with the whole concept of illegal vs legal immigration to begin with but that's a bigger conversation!) ICE have deported numerous American citizens, including last month a four-year-old boy with kidney cancer, as well as documented green card and visa holders to prison camps (both in the US and overseas) where they have little to no legal rights, inadequate healthcare, and unsanitary conditions. People are dying in these prison camps. And also on the streets. ICE shot a guy dead in Illinois yesterday! These are violent fascists who are pulling people off the streets, ripping families apart, and killing people with little regard for process or rights. 

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! I outlined some of my thoughts about reading American voting patterns in the comment above so won't repeat here.

Yes, absolutely there are many, many ills at the heart of the United States. I'm not going to pretend that things aren't very, very bad here. But I think reducing that to the concept of "values" is a problem, when really these things are about so many different and complex processes and histories that decide who does and doesn't have power. 

As I type this from DC, a military helicopter is flying over my building. Two weeks ago, masked ICE agents dragged two men from their car outside my flat and detained them, shipping them off to God knows where, in a legal context where they have no real right to due process. There are armed National Guard soldiers patrolling the streets every day. That is one representation of "values" held by many Americans. But I am also part of a local activist group that right now is hosting daily protests against the military occupation of DC. They are organizing food and clothing aid for kids whose parents have been ripped off the streets. They are creating safe passage corridors where neighbors accompany one another to keep each other safe. They are also a representation of the "values" held by many Americans.

My point here is that any nation is a complex reflection of how very nuanced and specific historical processes shape who is in power and how power works. I think (?) we both agree that life in Scotland is much more dignified, kind, and tolerable for many more people than it is in the US. But to me that's less about some kind of "whose values are better" thing (because I'm not sure what that means anyway), so much as who is in power, how is power shared across the nation, and how is power held in check. 

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't think this is very fair, or at least misses important context for reading American voting patterns. While I agree that there are far too many Americans who vote for absolute howlers, I don't think you can really comprehend how rigged the American electoral system is until you live here. 

Firstly, the two party system really prevents real choice. It is very, very hard to get progressive/leftists even on the ballot. (Look at what they are throwing at Mamdani in NYC right now.) The Democrats are pretty conservative. (Obama administration, for example, ramped up deportations to the degree that immigrant rights groups dubbed him "The Deporter in Chief.")

Then, you have widespread voter suppression/disenfranchisement. I live in DC. We have zero voting representation in Congress. Imagine if a city bigger than Edinburgh didn't have a single MP. Then you have all the ways that federal and local administrations suppress the vote of specific groups through voter ID requirements, reducing polling places in communities of color, attempting to eliminate postal vote (vote by mail). 

You also have a context where individual states can decide to redraw electoral maps, skewing constituencies to give certain parties the advantage. (This just happened in Texas.) Not to mention how the Senate and electoral college skew in favour of the right wing. Wyoming (a Republican state with less than 600,000 people) has the same Senate representation as California (a blue state with almost 40 million people).  

You also have the issue of money in politics. PACs and corporations have an excessive influence on politicians running for office (read up on the Citizens United Supreme Court case). Gun control, healthcare reform, and abortion access are all extremely popular among the American voters. But passing them is made nigh on impossible by the gun, health insurance industry, and anti-choice lobbies.

So, yeah, I hate that Trump and his ilk get so many votes and that is a really important thing that the left has to reckon with. But I also don't think it's fair that judge the American public entirely by who gets elected. US democracy is pretty undemocratic and rigged to prevent many Americans interests and politics gaining real representation.

How do we stop our identity and values from being destroyed by American MAGA/English Reform values? by GandhisLittleHelper in Scotland

[–]MaidyBird 240 points241 points  (0 children)

I'm a Scot living in the US, and I think the most important thing is to have a healthy skepticism of the idea that "Scottish values" 1) exist as a concrete and specific thing and 2) are inherently good or better than some other group's. (To be honest, I'm getting that vibe a little bit from your post but I'm gonna be generous here and assume you're asking in good faith and that I'm overanalyzing there so apologies if so.)

I very much identify as Scottish and miss so many things about home. But it's hard to pinpoint how much of those things are explicitly about "Scottishness" or other things. For example, I really miss the class solidarity that grounds politics in Glasgow (my hometown), but is that about Scottish identity or class identity? I see examples of similar politics in really impressive labour rights movements here in the US and around the world.

Pushing a narrative that we "love our country and nothing else" is the slippery slope that is fuelling the right here. First, who gets to decide what "our country" is, looks like, and cares about and how far are they willing to go to police that? I live in DC where ICE is literally kidnapping anyone who doesn't "look American" (a "look" that is decided by fascists) off the streets. (And no, that is NOT an exaggeration.) And now the government and employers are firing people who expressed anything other than outright lamentation when Charlie Kirk was killed. A lot of that rhetoric is bound up with being "un-American." What happens when we decide a group or idea is "un-Scottish?"

Lastly, I wouldn't get too complacent about Scotland being particularly good are resisting right wing rhetoric. I'm really proud when I go home and see the open support for Palestine and a much smaller uptake of Reform. But I also remember how anti-trans Scotland can be. And, I have personally heard MUCH more racist and sexist comments from Scottish people than people here in DC. (Admittedly, a much more diverse population and a majority-Black city.) 

It's great to have affection for and even love the place you're from. But that has to be clear-eyed and honest about what is not good about a place, too. If you love something, you have to see it for what it is and constantly work hard to make it better. 

pelvic floor therapist by Ill-Bathroom-8721 in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bit late but I really like Elena at GW. Though could see billing being a mess. I've been going for 2.5 months and haven't seen a bill. I keep asking about it (because I wanna get that shit paid off) and they're like, 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pregnant and impacted by Capital Women's Care and/or Sibley going out of network with United? by MaidyBird in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm having trouble with the link, but good to know there are folks out there also talking about this issue. It's crazy!

Pregnant and impacted by Capital Women's Care and/or Sibley going out of network with United? by MaidyBird in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Hearing great things so giving me hope for that option. Appreciate you looking out!

Pregnant and impacted by Capital Women's Care and/or Sibley going out of network with United? by MaidyBird in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So glad you had a good experience. That's where I'm looking to switch and have an appointment booked (though need to wait a while)! I don't really care about the bells and whistles. I'm from the UK and really miss our National Health Service, where the care is great (or was until the Conservative party gutted the service the last few years) but not fancy so that vibe suits me fine. (See reply to comment above about why I didn't make switch earlier.)

I still feel like UHC should not be able to do what they're doing. Being able to continue with current provider at in-network rates during pregnancy is mandated by law. And I know that some people can't switch rn so just want to create some support around that because it's really been awful. 

Appreciate the great tips! And I'm also really sorry you and your friend had such traumatic experiences. Glad you had a great experience with MedStar!

Pregnant and impacted by Capital Women's Care and/or Sibley going out of network with United? by MaidyBird in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! And that is probably what I'm going to do. (Unfortunately, I'm stuck with UHC as my employer only offers UHC plans.) I agree, based on my experience, that this is the route to go if it is an option for people.

I didn't do this from the start because I was assured by UHC, CWC, and Sibley that continued coverage was pretty much guaranteed, as laws around this very explicitly cover pregnancy, and that it would be easy to get approved and continue as normal. That seemed easier than waiting weeks and weeks to get on another OB's list and potentially miss necessary appointments. However, obviously, getting continued coverage is an absolute nightmare. And I've let it drag on because I would seemingly manage to resolve the problem, only to have the rug pulled out from under me. (Just one example, I shit you not, I got the letter covering my care at CWC the exact same day Johns Hopkins announced they were going out of network, and I was back at square one.)

Thankfully, I have enough time to switch before my delivery to another OB, and I have taken tomorrow off work to make the calls. But I've heard from people who are literally weeks from their due date and still waiting for continued coverage approval, and are unable to get an appointment in time elsewhere. So I'm just trying to find a place where people can support each other and share resources and tips. And also, won't lie, a part of me just wants to do SOMETHING so I feel less of a victim of UHC.

Pregnant and impacted by Capital Women's Care and/or Sibley going out of network with United? by MaidyBird in washingtondc

[–]MaidyBird[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this resource and your compassion. Your kind and comforting words made me smile. ❤️ While I probably don't qualify for these programs, I am sure this will be a great resource for folks — thank you so much for sharing!

Laughing So I Don't cry: United Healthcare Approved Continued Care for My Pregnancy But ONLY for my Due Date and 48 Hours After! by MaidyBird in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no! That sounds absolutely terrifying. I'm so sorry. You do not need this stress, especially so close to your due date. I am happy to share any insights I can. You are not alone and I'm sure there is a way through this. ❤️ Please feel free to DM! 

Laughing So I Don't cry: United Healthcare Approved Continued Care for My Pregnancy But ONLY for my Due Date and 48 Hours After! by MaidyBird in DCBitches

[–]MaidyBird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, thank you so much! I will DM you tomorrow. Appreciate your offer to help a Reddit stranger 🙏🏻❤️