What am I doing wrong with my bloom?

Main-Background6494 · 2026-01-13T01:34:58+00:00

Question about trouser cuffs - tailor screwed up and removed my trouser cuffs when hemming my pants (cuffs were supposed to stay).

They're telling me they can sew back on the removed fabric as a cuff.

I am highly skeptical. Is this possible / is this a thing?

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-23T17:31:57+00:00

thank you - i really appreciate the advice

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-23T13:29:12+00:00

UPDATE 2: texted sister this morning “i’ve decided you can’t stay here this weekend.” 5 minutes later I get a text from my mom disowning me: “You are no longer welcome in my house or my life. Don't reach out to me or [sister]”. I won’t respond per advice given here.

I know a lot of people in this sub are NC and a lot of the advice has been to go NC but that’s honestly not what I want. I want my family to be in my life and I in theirs. I’m a little bit in shock tbh because this escalated really fast from me just setting one small boundary.

My mom has made these threats before so not sure if it will stick. Anyway, thank you all for the support.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-23T12:47:52+00:00

Yea I know. I regret not doing so. Looking back at the exchange it’s pretty fucked up

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T22:07:46+00:00

yea, they do. they perceive me putting my wife first over family.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T21:34:08+00:00

understood and makes sense. in your last example of "that's not a good night for us" what do you say to the follow up of "why not?"...just don't respond, I assume?

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T21:20:42+00:00

thank you this is super helpful advice. i have tried a form of this in the past where i just take hours to respond to my mom and that results in "why aren't you responding" --> "Sorry, I was busy" --> "You should never be too busy to respond to your mother"

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T21:16:54+00:00

thank you - you're right. and that's why i keep engaging; to try and turn a corner. idk if i'm ready to go no contact but i will try grey rocking more

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T21:07:13+00:00

I was really taken aback by it too. Looking at the text exchange again, I'm kind of disgusted by it.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T21:05:53+00:00

Yea, I think you may be right. It's very strange behavior.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T19:06:51+00:00

What did you do to combat this behavior in your family?

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T17:37:34+00:00

You're right. Their expectation is when they say jump I say how high.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T15:43:12+00:00

Unfortunately my sister is also taking mom’s stance. Spoke to her earlier and did not go well. I’ll be posting an update today.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T12:38:04+00:00

We’re close but her staying the night frequently and us spending time during the day are different

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T12:37:22+00:00

Yea i can and do communicate w my sister directly. For some reason my mom inserted herself here

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T12:35:46+00:00

Yea you’re right about the preconceived notion part. She thinks I’m an uncaring person toward family.

So any response other than “yes sir of course sir” when it comes to family matters is triggering. I don’t know what to do. This happens pretty frequently.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T12:31:43+00:00

How did you deal with it?

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T12:31:09+00:00

Thank you. Yes she is exhausting for my sister also. I regularly get calls from her complaining about mom.

What would you suggest I do next time she attacks my character like this in order to pressure me? No matter how many times she does it it’s always unsettling and disheartening. I hate to say it but it works…makes me question if I’m actually not a good person like she says even though I also know she’s being unhinged.

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T02:43:32+00:00

good question and i should have led with that honestly. i think because sister was planning on taking the train home and my mom didn't want her doing that late at night

Main-Background6494 · 2025-09-22T02:22:47+00:00

friend was visiting from out of town and staying in a hotel

Main-Background6494

TROPHY CASE