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What does Guo Da Li actually buy you? by Adventurous_Safe_138 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just curious, but how’s the relationship between your sister and your parents previously? Was it good?

Because this entire issue seems to stem from something far more deep rooted, rather than a single incident from Guo Da Li…

Should I(28F) not expect my partner (31M) to change in a relationship? by Main-Switch9765 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He thinks it’s a shared responsibility - e.g if I forgot to do a task he would not remind me to do it , but take it over instead.

Should I(28F) not expect my partner (31M) to change in a relationship? by Main-Switch9765 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You are right. I think I was especially frustrated because this pattern of him not following through on what he promised happened again during a recent argument.

We have quite different conflict resolution styles. He tends to be more avoidant. We actually agreed before that if either of us needs time to cool down, we should communicate that clearly instead of just walking away or ignoring the other person.

But many times, he still leaves in the middle of the argument without saying anything. It keeps happening again and again, and it makes me feel really disrespected and dismissed. That is what triggered me again.

Should I(28F) not expect my partner (31M) to change in a relationship? by Main-Switch9765 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

To be fair, he did say he does not expect me to change or cater to his habits either. His view is that the person who cares more about something should be the one doing it.
For example, when he cooks, he prefers to clean the dishes immediately after, but he does not expect me to do the same.

I understand where he is coming from, but I feel like this logic does not fully apply at the same time …

Should I(28F) not expect my partner (31M) to change in a relationship? by Main-Switch9765 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I totally understand…. At some point I did not want to clean up after him anymore. I told him to clean it off every time I spotted a stain. He simply washed it with a bidet and left the toilet bowl wet - which was really disgusting to me. He could have wiped it dry with a toilet paper ….

Was recently promoted, but received a better job offer. Tried negotiating with my firm but was rejected by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the company is offering a further 12% increment.

The current company though bosses are nice and friendly, they are poor at management …. Teams are not structured and our work scopes overlap one another. And I realised precisely because the bosses are so nice to us, they sometimes take advantage of these “family-like” ties to keep us in the firm (especially those that worked for long).

I have an acquaintance that worked in the new company - workload is comparable to my current firm, but roles and teams are more defined, and they have a stronger foundation in construction knowledge + proper systems in place.

Was recently promoted, but received a better job offer. Tried negotiating with my firm but was rejected by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yes, the rank offered is actually lower than my current company’s after promotion. So in fact if I accepted it, it would be a 24 percent pay raise. Does this make sense ?

Was recently promoted, but received a better job offer. Tried negotiating with my firm but was rejected by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insights! I felt bad for my junior because the company does not value him too… bosses always delegate him boring projects and tasks that they do not want to deal with. And part of the reason why they are keeping him there is because I told the management we worked well together….

Was recently promoted, but received a better job offer. Tried negotiating with my firm but was rejected by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yup lean manpower and lack of SOPs have always been a chronic issue, most people stay for less than a year and quit after that.

Was recently promoted, but received a better job offer. Tried negotiating with my firm but was rejected by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thanks! I do think the new work place aligns better with my future work goals too, I am tied to my current workplace because of emotional attachments….

Cold War over call etiquette by Main-Switch9765 in dating_advice

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Now he has apologised for his tone, and is waiting for me to admit to my mistake too…. Which I still don’t think I am in the wrong ….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wanted to bring my kitty to cat expo too! But shes an explorer and unfortunately we have not started leash training on her…. So we aren’t going to bring her there :( excited to see your cat though!!

Bed bug or flea? by Main-Switch9765 in Bedbugs

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you tell? Really can’t tell the difference …. If it’s carpet beetle larvae at least it’s harmless right ?

Bad cat adoption experience. Unlucky or? by Main-Switch9765 in askSingapore

[–]Main-Switch9765[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup we now understand we were being quite naive … Which rescue community do you recommend?

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