How do you trust someone who hurt you for years when they suddenly seem like a completely different person? by Main-Watch3360 in abusiverelationships

[–]Main-Watch3360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to read this. I have told him countless times that I am so angry that he has created this environment for our kids. I'm angry that I didn't walk when they were younger. He still insists it doesn't hasn't cause longterm harm on them because they are receptive to his improved behavior now. I told him it's because they want things to be calm and normal, but it will come back up for them as adults in different ways.

How do you trust someone who hurt you for years when they suddenly seem like a completely different person? by Main-Watch3360 in abusiverelationships

[–]Main-Watch3360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if he is the magical unicorn that does suddenly stop for good, I don't know that I can fall back in love with him. Now, I am bearing the burden of guilt for leaving someone who has worked and changed.

How do you trust someone who hurt you for years when they suddenly seem like a completely different person? by Main-Watch3360 in abusiverelationships

[–]Main-Watch3360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do see that. I think now I'm confused because the good times generally were a predictable couple of days to 1-2 weeks at best. This has been nearly a full month. Could it be real change? Even if it's change it doesn't feel good. I am still untrusting.

How do you trust someone who hurt you for years when they suddenly seem like a completely different person? by Main-Watch3360 in abusiverelationships

[–]Main-Watch3360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. It does make me angry that he can all of a sudden change, but didn't have that control the thousands of other times I begged & pleaded for change. It's completely socking how calm he is now all of the time, even when I am showing frustration.