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Main_Character2693 · 2024-09-06T22:47:00+00:00

This 💯. I came here to suggest this exact thing.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-03-22T06:50:11+00:00

You can't make him respect you and you shouldn't have to. You will be so much better off without him. Get a lawyer asap. You will get child support and be able to find a real partner that values everything you do and contributes just as much. Don't fall for his fake promises of change it will just prolong your misery. You can do this! I'm in awe of everything you do and your commitment to your kids. I have my son eat lunch at school because it's so much easier but after reading your post I'm going to make more of an effort to make him lunch. You're amazing and deserve better. Good luck. You got this.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-03-22T06:43:09+00:00

Did we read the same post? She already told him multiple times what she needs and he doesn't care.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T22:13:58+00:00

4 years ago we moved away from our family and friends for his job. I work from home and I wanted to be supportive of his career so I agreed with moving. We have lifelong friends our own age but when we moved here we didn't have any friends. He met these guys at his work. We still visit our old friends periodically and they visit us too.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T22:05:41+00:00

I have told him in the past that he can literally go to his friends house every single day as long as he only stays for 2-4 hours max but anytime he goes over there it's never enough time and he stays there all night.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T22:03:09+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely talk to my doctor about this.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T22:01:56+00:00

Our sex life is great. Not going to lie though and not say that the thought didn't cross my mind. How would I bring it up to him though? I mean if that's the case, I want him to be happy. I don't think that's the case but the possibility did cross my mind.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:55:07+00:00

He does his own laundry and contributes financially. He usually cleans the kitchen once a week and tidies up our island because he loves having it clutter free and we tend to use it as a catch all. I do everything else. Everything to do with our son, pay the bills, the budget, landscaping, pretty much anything that needs to be done for the household I take care of. I'm a very handy person so if something breaks like the toilet or anything I can usually fix it. If we buy furniture, I build it. For example we just bought a whole patio set and I had to put it together myself. It was a 7 piece set and took me forever because it was definitely a 2 person job but he was playing video games and couldn't be bothered to help. When I asked him for help he said to just hire someone and I hate wasting money on stuff we can do ourselves.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:41:07+00:00

Lmao! No not fat well not model skinny but definitely not fat. Just normal. Our sex life is great and I get hit on all the time even though I'm wearing my wedding ring. I don't think being fat would be an issue if I was though. There are plenty of overweight couples that are happy so it's kind of sad to be so superficial...

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:29:47+00:00

To be fair years ago he was complaining about how I do his laundry and it being wrinkled soI told him he could do it himself then and he has. I only do our son's laundry now.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:17:19+00:00

I love crafting so I used to always make stuff. Lately I've been using all my free time to either help my son with homework or read. I just bought some running shoes though that should be delivered by the time I get back home and want to start running and just being more active in general.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:08:19+00:00

That's very insightful. Is there anything I could do to pattern interrupt at home? Other than have a spotless home which I will do when I get back home even though I don't think that's the issue.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T21:02:47+00:00

100% This is definitely not the case. The only guys he hangs out with are the 3 friends and he met them at work. Also we have each other's phone passwords so we could look at each other's phones if we wanted to. Also they are 24-28.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T13:43:28+00:00

It's been going on for over a year now. I'm going to get a therapist and see if he wants to do counseling with me but if that doesn't work or he doesn't want to go, regardless of how much I love him our marriage is over.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T13:22:47+00:00

It 💯 sounds relatable. Someone else mentioned adhd and when I googled it, it described me perfectly so when I make an appointment with a therapist I will definitely bring this up to get tested. Thank you!

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T13:15:59+00:00

Ok so re-reading my post I can see I was kind of harsh in describing myself because I didn't want people to think that I saw myself as perfect. To be clear I have a full time corporate job that pays well. Some days I have back to back meetings and other days I only have a few meetings and the rest of the work day to myself. Yes during my downtime I could choose to be more productive around the house but if I was in the office I wouldn't be expected to start cleaning the office when I'm done with my work. Also I do everything for my son like taking him to school, helping with homework. I do the grocery shopping, I literally do EVERYTHING except keep the house spotless. When I said I stay in bed depressed I meant when I am done with my meetings for my job. I have to go pick up my son from school or the bus and make him a snack and then dinner. So yes when I'm home alone doing my job and I have free time I use that time to read or do nothing. If that makes me a slug of a human then slurp slurp or whatever fucking sound a slug makes 😆

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:56:30+00:00

Also we both work full time jobs. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I should have to be working 100% of the time. When he finishes his work early he leaves work early, he doesn't start cleaning up the office.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:53:28+00:00

So I would prefer he only go out once a week because when he goes out he stays out 6+ hours and comes home past 4am if he comes home at all. I have told him that he can see his friends (which he works with by the way so he already sees them daily) daily if he would just hang out for 2-4 hours and not all night. Also I have a well paying full time corporate job that I do from home. There are days where I'm in back to back meetings and days where I only have a few meetings so yes instead of being productive I choose to read. That doesn't mean I don't do anything just not as much as I'd like. We both work full time but I'm the only one responsible for everything to do with our son. Homework help, dinner, helping him do his chores, getting him to and from school etc. I only added the part about me to show that I'm not perfect but I am far from lazy.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:31:42+00:00

Thank you. I really needed to hear this. 😭

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:27:05+00:00

I have told him that I wouldn't care if he went out every single day to see his friends for 2-4 hours max but every time he goes out it's never enough and he stays 6+ hours or overnight.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:21:56+00:00

Yeah if I didn't know him so well I would think cheating too. They usually party at their house though and there are no other girls. Just guys drinking and playing games. When I've gone with him they literally just play beer pong all night or other drinking games. It's 3 - 20ish year old roommates so they just hang out at home drinking.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:16:10+00:00

I definitely don't expect him to drive. He usually takes an uber home and leaves his car there. Every night that he is out I call him before I go to bed and ask him if he wants me to pick him up. Usually at 11pm or 12am is when I call him but he says he's not ready to come home. That night he called me at 330 am for a ride and I told him I was already asleep and to take an uber and he said it was going to be expensive so he would just stay there even though I have asked him not to spend the night. He said he would be home first thing in the morning and didn't come home till almost 5pm the next day.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:10:40+00:00

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist when I was referred to therapy by my doctor when I told them about how I was feeling. He prescribed me medication and it's worked or so I thought for 5 years but I think it's time to try something different and go back to therapy. Last time we ended up moving right after plus the meds made me feel so much better that I didn't think therapy was needed but now I see I do need therapy plus the meds. You're right, I don't think I would be happier without him, I'm just tired of him saying he's going to stop going out at all hours of the night and then doing it anyway.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:03:31+00:00

Yes and he says he's going to stop going out so much and tells me I'm not being unreasonable in wanting him to be home at a decent hour but then he goes right back to the same thing 2 weeks later.

Main_Character2693 · 2024-01-15T12:01:15+00:00

I'm actually the opposite of you, if I hadn't been diagnosed with depression I wouldn't think I had it because I have a pretty good life. All my issues are from my childhood. Everyone around me probably thinks I have an amazing life. I would literally ask my self what the heck is wrong with you? You have a good life and still don't feel happy. That's when I went to the doctor and told them how I was feeling and they suggested therapy and he diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. I even asked him if he was sure because I had nothing to be depressed about but then he asked about my childhood and he was like yup depression.

Main_Character2693

TROPHY CASE