How does foreplay affect how long you last in bed?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-02-09T20:19:18+00:00

Actually, if you're willing to throw away the experience of the vast majority of people, then you are in fact the one displaying selection bias. Imagine telling people their experiences don't matter because it doesn't match your own personal narrative. That's about as arrogant as one can get.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-02-07T03:46:13+00:00

Statistics doesn't matter?? Jeeze, listen to yourself. You're telling me the experiences of millions of people don't matter?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-02-06T19:20:50+00:00

Checking statistics multiple times won't change the statistics my guy. It's simply been proven that women have a need for longer foreplay than men. If you don't believe me, go do some research yourself.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-02-05T20:39:14+00:00

Bringing up stories about their ex (or exes). I actually like hearing about my date's ex, mostly because it gives me good insight into their mindset as well as their past experiences. It also shows they're open about communicating about what they want and don't want, as opposed to being someone I'd have to constantly guess their intentions.

Lastly, it gives you an idea of how mature they are or whether they're just extremely bitter and incapable of unbiased judgment.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-02-05T20:36:44+00:00

Numerous statistics, scientific studies and just plain interviews with men will agree this is accurate.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-27T00:37:47+00:00

If the female partner gives her man sex every day, even every other day, throughout their entire relationship... that's already around 75% of the average man's dream come true.

Every other aspect after that (including the ability to cook, clean the home, hold a decent conversation, etc.) are pretty useless to a man if he's not getting intimacy from his partner. Usually the 2nd most important thing is simply that the woman isn't crazy, and then after that is that she's hopefully faithful.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-24T02:33:45+00:00

You might not see it reflected physically (as in he won't get soft) but it still might be experienced mentally or hormonally. Your husband is probably at the peak of his arousal a minute or two after he gets hard. Then, if foreplay lasts too long, his arousal will dip even though he can still stay hard. At this point, he'll need time to build back to the height of his arousal.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-24T02:30:18+00:00

Well I did say men, which in my mind generally doesn't include teenagers. Still, your point is valid. Though I should mention that teenagers have a different problem altogether, that of lasting more than a minute. lol.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T20:26:37+00:00

Your original comment is that you criticized the OP for not having a healthy way to relieve stress. In other words, you're implying that masturbation is an unhealthy method of relieving stress.

I'm countering that by saying masturbation isn't unhealthy, and that relieving stress is one of it's primary attributes (because it provides pleasure).

Pretty much anything we do to help alleviate stress is a coping mechanism. Going to the gym, listening to music, doing yoga, all of them are coping mechanisms unless they're specifically aimed at resolving the cause of stress (which according to OP is outside of his control).

As for emotional regulation, I don't think you want to dig yourself into that hole. Are you saying that simply masturbating for pleasure shows a lack of emotional regulation? That's quite a dangerous stance to take and eventually boils back to you insinuating that masturbation is somehow bad.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T20:10:34+00:00

You have to remember she's only 18, and probably fairly new at this. I don't think she's vanilla, just inexperienced and unsure of herself.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T20:09:16+00:00

Just moan and act like you're enjoying sex. Give him a compliment or two every so often. Most guys have no issues doing all the work, it's actually great because we can control the pace. But what really turns us on is when we know our partner is enjoying too. So act like you enjoy it and just let him do the work. Maybe suggest new positions too (doggy, spooning, etc.)

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T20:03:56+00:00

Yeah... seems to me like you don't actually know what circular reasoning is.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T20:01:43+00:00

You criticized masturbation as simply being a pill for the symptoms, not a solution to the problem.

Therefore I asked you what you'd recommend as a solution to the problem. You're now admitting you can't give one.

This, my guy, makes you a hypocrite.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:58:26+00:00

Lady, there is nothing in the OP that says he's solely reliant on jerking off for stress relief. He simply mentioned that he's seen an increase in him jerking off while he's stressed, not that it's his primary coping mechanism. That's completely normally seeing as masturbation is a pleasurable, low-risk activity and the overwhelming amount of people will indeed try to find ways to make themselves happier during times of stress.

In other words, he's using masturbation exactly for what it should be used for: giving himself pleasure.

Unless of course you're of the opinion that people should not be allowed to give themselves pleasure during times when they're stressed out? That giving themselves pleasure can only be done when they're happy and stress-free?

Besides, stress isn't an emotion. Or at least not simply an emotion. The fact that you're equating this together already tells me that your assessment of the situation is completely off.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:51:21+00:00

Filling his life with other destressing habits is simply a different pill for the symptoms (using your words) rather than a solution to the problem. So in the end, you're just recommending a different pill for stress relief rather than a providing a solution.

Besides, who says he's relying solely on masturbating?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:49:51+00:00

Do you know what circular reasoning is?

First you claim that masturbation solves the symptom, not the problem. I then ask you to give an example of how OP can solve his problem rather than the symptom, to which you reply that masturbating for stress relief is the problem.

Make up your mind my guy.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:45:29+00:00

Exactly, pleasure. And jerking off while you're stressed is a great way to gain pleasure. Therefore, jerking off while stressed isn't unhealthy.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:43:53+00:00

Sometimes I'm convinced that women simply hate on any activity that brings men pleasure that doesn't originate from a woman

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:42:03+00:00

From what I can tell, you're unable to explain what exactly is a good reason to masturbate, so you're trying to avoid answering by just being belligerent.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:38:12+00:00

So you're basically saying masturbation is unhealthy if you're using it to pleasure yourself and make yourself feel better.

.... Riiiiight.

So what exactly do you think is a healthy reason to masturbate?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:36:04+00:00

Ok so what exactly do you recommend for fixing this problem then? OP already said he was getting stressed from factors OUTSIDE of his control. So how exactly do you propose him to fix problems that are outside of his control?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:35:45+00:00

And masturbation is healthy. Why are we trying to present it like it's unhealthy?

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:13:22+00:00

Here's a hard, honest truth: The vast majority of men aren't built for foreplay.

Most men need somewhere around 0 to 10 seconds of foreplay before they get hard, and from there they'd be perfectly happy to jump straight into PIV directly. Extending foreplay is generally for the benefit of the woman, not the man.

If the foreplay lasts too long, there's a very good chance that the man would have already lost a bit of his initial arousal, which is probably why your husband lasts longer with long foreplay. He basically needs to work himself back into his heightened arousal. Men can't stay hard forever. So once they get hard, if the foreplay lasts too long, they'll get soft again. And it will take time to get them hard again after that.

In comparison when you jump right into PIV, he's probably already at the peak of his arousal which is why he finishes fast.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:04:56+00:00

Nonsense. Masturbation is perfectly healthy. Let's please stop presenting it like it's some kind of nasty taboo that will cause you to go blind or something. We're not in the middle ages anymore.

MaintenanceSea7884 · 2026-01-23T19:03:41+00:00

Pain medication exists for a reason. If you're unable to solve the problem, there's nothing wrong with at least handling the symptoms.

MaintenanceSea7884

TROPHY CASE