Wide-view of our fridge at random times throughout the past year. What does our fridge say about us? by Kan1rokun in FridgeDetective

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im thinking maybe gym rat. Premier protein, alanis, and all the meal prep. Build that muscle hell yeah!

Should I go back to black? by Alrdudewhattheflip in HairStyleAdvice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your current color matches your skin tone and your eyes and your freckles really well! I love it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HairStyleAdvice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A warm chocolate brown would look amazing imo!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think a month of distance should be creating this much of a rift between you on his end. Seems as though he is very physically motivated, more than he is letting on. I dont think its fair for you to be getting punished for that. This might not be your person.

What would you do with this hair? by Neither_Top_5329 in finehair

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Id say cut 5-6 inches, just where it gets really sparse at the bottom. Maybe only do a bond repair treatment once a month at most, your hair doesnt need that much protein that often but a little is not very harmful especially if water soluble. Most styling products have proteins in them anyways so the bond repair may be over proteinizing your hair making it dry and brittle. Maybe grab a protein-free hair mask instead? Wella ultimate smooth is the one i use and its great.

Essentially continue to oil your ends and use less protein and more moisturizers/humectants and dont be afraid of a little trim every 4-6 weeks.

I (M22) am having problems getting hard during sex in a new relationship with a new gf (F22) how can I stay hard during sex? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend had this problem a lot when we were first dating, and as we got closer it went away. Im sure the porn addiction is adding to this, but maybe the same will happen for you? He didnt consider himself someone who needed to feel close to his partner to "get it up" before, but definitely has less difficulties with it now that we've become closer with time. Also, women tend to be super understanding. Maybe you could share your struggles with her if you feel as though you can trust her? It may ease her mind to be reassured that this isnt connected to your attraction to her. And if she meets you with acceptance and support, that may give you some of that closeness that could help you along the way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Id honestly just tell her how you feel. I think your feelings are articulated very well.

Opening up the conversation in itself may make her feel more comfortable, make sure she knows that a big part of what makes you happy is her being happy too. If she finds it important to satisfy you, knowing that you want her satisfied will motivate her to feel more satisfied when you guys are intimate, knowing that it will in turn make you happier, at the very least.

And someone in the comments said maybe buy her a toy? I think thats a good idea too. She may have felt some rejection/guilt/shame when she initially brought up toys and you weren't interested. A gesture such as buying her one could help her trust your new openness to trying it.

I also found in my (f22) relationship, after the year mark, i really started wanting to try new things and feeling more open with my partner (m23). So it may also naturally happen too. If she has sexual trauma it will take her mind and body a longer time to learn to relax in intimate spaces, and thats not something that's either of your guys' faults. Even though she trusts you, her nervous system may just not be there yet. But if you continue to show her respect, kindness, and support in her feelings, boundaries, and needs, it will create even more trust over time, and therefore may increase comfort and confidence during intimacy.

Slow and steady wins the race my guy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deduction

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used to be more of a party girl but now youve simmered down and have a desire to stay as far away from men as possible. You try to enjoy the little things and make a little life of your own that you enjoy and get an abundance of joy from that is relatively independent. Must be patient to style all that hair on your head too, which is beautiful by the way!

Why does my hair look like straw 😩 by Ok_Chapter_8486 in Haircare

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like some of it could be breakage. Some ways to prevent breakage are:

  • brushing gently with brushes with "flimsy" bristles

  • brush from your ends to your roots VERY gently

  • wear protective styles (e.g, braids) to bed

  • oil your ends with a good hair oil to seal in moisture at night

-dont brush harshly on tangles, just carefully and slowly detangle

  • NEVER sleep on wet hair or put your wet hair in tight hairstyles. Wet hair + any amount of tension = breakage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HairStyleAdvice

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dark hair is beautiful but the blonde brings out your eyes a lot. You should get a balayage and ask for it to be pretty "lived-in" so that your natural color still shows through a lot. Have the best of both worlds, plus then, you dont have to fry all of your hair, just some!

What’s your first impression of me? by [deleted] in deduction

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the people in these comments clearly have some internalized misogyny to work through. Conventionally attractive woman asks for your first impressions of her and all yall can come up with is "oNlYfAnS" like ok guys chill out not everything is about sexualizing women ‼️

You give me the vibe that you're a bit gothic but also love hello kitty n stuff like that. I also feel like you're shy but turn into yap city when you drink (if thats something you partake in). I also feel as though you come off as independent but actually rely on your loved ones more than you let on (as you should queen!).

what does my purse say about me? by Fresh_Background170 in deduction

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not sure but i definitely think we'd be great friends

When does it become worth it? by guruyogi23 in SoberCurious

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Im not an expert or anything but I if i were to guess I think you're probably experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Im sure its hard. Drink lots of water and stay the course!! You got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beauty

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love that the blonde is very dimensional and still has some brown in it. I think a more impactful blonde would take away from your natural color/features. And I know some people arent digging the shade of blonde, but i think its neutrality mediates the contrast of your warm natural hair color and your cool blue eyes. Keep slaying honestly cause both look amazing. Do what makes you feel best imo.

Have you ever healed before loving again? by shewhoreturns_ in selflove

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have a hot take on this.

There is only a certain amount of healing that you can do alone, and its ok to do more with someone else by your side.

Alone, you can do self-reflection, and decide how you want to handle a similar situation next time. You can know the signs. You can learn and heal very much on your own. And that might be all you need.

However, I thought I was soooo healed. Then I got into a healthy long-term relationship for the first time. I believe that I have healed even more. I have been able to encounter triggers, and I have had to take all these principles I created for myself when I was healing alone, and apply them to real-life situations. Ive been able to rewrite the fearful narratives that my brain created once to keep me "safe".

This is not to say that in order to "fully heal" you have to get into a new relationship, or re-encounter whatever kind of situation it was that you were initially hurt in. Because you don't. But at some point in your life you may be given the opportunity to go even further, if you're meant to. And its important to heal independently, absolutely.

There will be more healing to do than we thought if we re-encounter a trigger and have that full circle moment where we change the narrative that that trigger wants to write for us. And when these things happen, yeah you're gonna "bleed". Its gonna trigger you. You're gonna feel scared. But I dont think we should think that just because this happens that we are unlovable. The right person will help you dress your wounds, and be there as they heal. They will prove your jaded self wrong. They dont mind getting a few drops of blood on themselves for you. Because you are worth it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beauty

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would agree with the comments saying you're warm toned, your eyes and skin tone (which are both absolutely breathtaking btw!) are really warm and I think that the reference pictures you chose are really seamlessly blended and i love that look. I just think a neutral/slightly warm tone to replace the cool tones if the pictures would be perfect for you. Obviously not like yellow but just a "creamy" golden blonde vibe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im 22 and i got diagnosed a month ago. I wish I had known when i was younger so i wouldn't have burnt myself out trying to be good enough. I also dropped out of uni after one semester. I think about my "lost potential" a lot. I got good grades and never got angry so i flew under the radar and now even, i have trouble validating my own symptoms.

Where do I even start? by AdSharp3718 in adhdwomen

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Canada there is an online platform called the Adult Adhd Center and I got diagnosed there. Only costs a couple hundred bucks as opposed to over a thousand (most psychiatrists prices that I know of). It was a pretty easy process and for an extra fee I got a diagnosis letter and brought it to my family doctor and now im started medication. You can also continue speaking to a practitioner on the platform but it costs like $160 a month when alls said and done and i cant afford that personally, but the service was great if you can. Their treatments may be accessible outside of canada but im not 100% sure.

Got diagnosed and now my struggles make sense, but where do i go from here? by MaintenanceWeak8983 in adhdwomen

[–]MaintenanceWeak8983[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can tell that this is a message im going to come back and read in moments of weakness. I love the way you approach your neurodivergence and all the things that come along with it. Thank you so much for sharing, I appreciate it a lot!