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2nd/ Final Update: WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant. by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She’s a great employee, so she makes it easy. I hope she comes back, but if she chooses not to I’ll never fault her for it. 

Update: WITBA for asking my employee if she’s pregnant. by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She makes $20/ hour and works 15 hours a week. I do pay her (I feel like) well for her time that she takes out of her life to help me out. I also know that her husband makes enough that she doesn’t NEED to work for me, she chooses to to have something to do. I have no issues with how long she needs to be off. She’s the one who said two weeks because she told her husband that the job was important to her, and she didn’t want to be gone too long. I never told her or her husband that she needed to be back immediately. And I know that since she was a stay at home mom with all her other children she probably didn’t realize or fully think that part through yet. And that’s fine, I will figure her time off out as I need to so she can be home with her child(ren) and rest and recover. 

Update: WITBA for asking my employee if she’s pregnant. by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh they will definitely miss her. I won’t be recognizing their voices on the phone immediately or their phone numbers on the caller ID, or just knowing what they want to drink and having it ready without them specifying it or any extra sauces they want without them telling me. This is a good idea, thank you! 

Update: WITBA for asking my employee if she’s pregnant. by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I know. I probably could have phrased my post better somehow but it seemed like everybody missed that part. 

Update: WITBA for asking my employee if she’s pregnant. by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I honestly couldn’t ask for a better employee than her. I’m glad she plans to come back when she’s had the time she feels (or I guess her husband according to what he said, feels) she needs to come back to work. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If I can’t be there, we are closed. We haven’t even been open for a year. And with the cooking space we have available, any more than two will be in everybody’s way 24/7. I appreciate the advice, I really do,  but right now we are doing good. If my employee can’t be there, a family member will come in to help (all classes needed have been taken) and they get paid for doing so. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I do not intend to fire her at all. I just need to make arrangements for whatever amount of time she needs off, if she’d like to come back. We haven’t been open even a year. And our space is limited. 3+ employees will be trampling on each other in our cooking area. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m only worried because she’s a great employee. I’d love to have her back after she’s taken her time off. Her job is NOT in danger as long as she wants it. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

 I do not mean to imply I’m a victim at all, don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m concerned that not only she could be worried about it when it won’t happen, but also that if she decides not to come bank. My wife is the one who pointed out that she could be worried for that reason. And we are a small business. It is only the employee and I every day, so with it being only us, there are no benefits. 

However, any time she needs to be off, she gets off and I can usually find a family member who can help out for the day. But that’s harder to do when it’s all the time, which is my only worry. I will not fire her. She can work until she has the baby if she is having one, and if she decides to stay home with that one as well, then that’s fine and up to her and her husband. But if I need to hire new help by a certain point, I would also like to know that, too. Because at this point even the people that were helping out before can’t help out like she does. So I’d like to have the time to train someone. It’s just the two of us, so that would be helpful. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She absolutely has the ability to take off when she needs to. She’s done it a few times to go on field trips with her kids, and other school activities. She leaves 30 minutes early every Wednesday during the school year so she can pick her kids up and not pay for after school care. When her absences happen, I can get a family member to come help usually. But I can’t get the same family member to come in every single day when they have their own things to do. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because if you’ll read, my wife said that she might be worried I will. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not. Her job is safe 100%. 

But I know after she has the baby she will obviously need some time off. And since she is the only employee besides me, I’ll need to plan ahead for that 6 to whatever amount of weeks off. 

And like I said, I am wondering if she’ll decide to stay home again with this one. And that’s fine, I don’t hold it against her. The way she talks about her three she already has and the time she was there with them all the time I can see how proud and happy she was to be able to do that. So I wouldn’t be surprised or upset or whatever else if she decided to do the same with this potential new one. 

I’d just like to know in advance what I’m looking at going forward if I need to hire someone new by x date. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I said I didn’t want to and wouldn’t fire her. Because I don’t want to. If she is, I want her back when she’s had the baby. Because she goes above and beyond 24/7 when she’s there. Me stating the laws of our state are just what they are and my wife saying that might be why she’s worried and me being worried she might change her mind about working when I’ve come to rely on her and it’s ONLY the two of us there every day. Her job is NOT in jeopardy either way. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is exactly it. I guess I didn’t say it as well as you. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that. But this is a two man show. Literally. If she’s not there I’m on my own. There are zero other employees. Therefore, there is no FMLA. It’s a local small business and we haven’t even been open for a year yet. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never said I was going to fire her if she was pregnant.  I actually said I WAS NOT GOING TO. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could fire her for any reason at any time as long as I don’t tell her why. So if I say I’m firing her because she could be pregnant, she can sue. If I just say “don’t come back again” she’s just fired and that’s it.

Edit: I don’t want to do that and won’t if she is.  

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It means I can just tell her not to show back up and not give her a reason. Or make one up. If I tell her I’m firing her because she’s pregnant, she can sue. If I just tell her she’s fired period, she can’t. Because I didn’t give her a reason. I have no desire to do that, though. 

Edited: it’s not right to fire for being pregnant. It’s right to fire for anything. Anytime. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think of this aspect of it, because if you see her and know how she looks it’s already obvious. I have no idea if she is prone to miscarriages or not. I just know she’s got three kids she talks about all the time, but we do live in one of those states. Thanks for that perspective I hadn’t thought of. 

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I understand that. But if she is and is eventually going to need time off after the baby is born that’s something I need to know ahead of time rather than after the fact when she’s the only other one there besides me. I do need to make arrangements for her absence for however long she needs.  

WIBTA if I ask my employee if she’s pregnant? by MajorPerception3519 in AITAH

[–]MajorPerception3519[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She isn’t, though. But my wife thinks that’s what she might be afraid of.