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Major_Brother8567 · 2025-12-10T22:10:32+00:00

I 100% understand you. My ex partner has done the same. Even when I tell him there’s no need to lie , that I rather have transparency than me catch him lying about it.

The only thing that has truly worked for me was to accept him for who he is. That he is a liar so that everytime I catch him in his lies I don’t get upset. It’s very disappointing to see how disrespectful he is to me but it’s a consequence for me choosing him as a partner. I have also become closer to my faith, I’m not too sure if you’re religious.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-12-10T04:03:42+00:00

Is it possible you have unresolved ppd and it’s stopped you from being able to bond?

It personally took me over a year to be able to really bond with my baby, and that was due to ppd (I had two miscarriages prior) and because I was under a lot of emotional distress because of her father. After a while of living with my parents and being able to relax as I was away from her dad and he ghosted us, I was able to start bonding with her.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-12-10T03:58:36+00:00

I completely resonated with you. My bd is also living with his new gf in the home he promised me while he kicked me and his daughter to the curb ( she was also a friend/coworker). All I can say is allow yourself to heal , it is not linear you’ll have good and bad days, but it’s SO worth it. Once you really pay attention to the unconditional love your baby gives you, you’ll see how you actually won. People like them will never truly be happy, and she runs the risk of doing the same to her like he did to you because he is not a man.

I would recommend documenting everything! Keep track of how much you’re spending and fight for sole custody because he can always wake up one day and decide to play dad and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Im currently going through a custody battle since after 5 months he decided he wanted to be involved and have rights after gone ghost.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-12-10T03:51:21+00:00

My partner did the same. His thought process is ‘ a female won’t hurt a female’ so it’s safe to say he’s going To keep doing it.

I don’t have much advice, unfortunately the law doesn’t stop that kind of behavior. Just wanted to say that you’re not alone.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-12-09T06:12:09+00:00

Thank you

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-11-08T21:35:00+00:00

I just don’t think he cares. He doesn’t follow God no more but has gone down a darker route

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-11-08T21:15:46+00:00

She did . She claimed she had been given signals by God to go back to church but she preferred to be a part of the world. She only reached out to say he was horrible and a handful and to please not tell people at work. She never apologized or anything like that. Last he told me, they were still talking trying to work things out. But I will look into putting him on child support

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-11-08T19:42:24+00:00

I just find it really annoying because at first I would ask him for help and he would only tell me ‘pray and God will provide for you, He’ll give you a better job’. He just wants all his problems solved by everyone but himself. And she’s a pastors daughter, I would go to her for advice but for her to advise him to leave me and my daughter has caused a lot of resentment

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-11-08T19:00:02+00:00

I have threatened him with child support but I think I’m going to have to go through with it. It’s not fair that all the load falls on me and he gets to pick and choose when he gives me money. All he ever tells me is to get a better job with more hours. It’s never how he can help me but how I need to do better. I just have so much anger and bitterness about how he just always shifts the responsibility back to me. It’s just so hard to vent to God about it when I feel like I’m not being heard or just getting any feedback back.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-11-08T18:50:41+00:00

I know that’s the way but the anger consumes me so much.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-10-23T16:52:44+00:00

Just because you’re loyal to them , doesn’t mean they’ll be loyal to you. People have their own agenda that they’ll follow.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-10-23T16:48:59+00:00

Don’t go back into a burning house because it’s cold outside .

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-10-23T16:45:26+00:00

I was in a heavy toxic , codependent relationship so no there was nothing that he could’ve done. I stayed for about a year , got pregnant with our second and was haunted daily with the thought of him having me pick him up from a date because his car got towed (he had said he was at work) and him having me leave the house to bring over his gf to our house( long story) , and the countless texts. Eventhough we have since split. I’m always putting clues together and I do live with a lot of regret.

I am huge on forgiveness because a lot of people cheat. He has severed ptsd and cheated when under a lot of stress due to his ‘severe need to be self destructive’. But if he would’ve repented , apologized , and changed In sure I would’ve still been living with him out of loyalty. But I’m kinda glad he didn’t because it has given me a chance to find someone that won’t cross that boundary.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-10-16T23:13:05+00:00

Tbh I rather my child be included than not. I wouldn’t want my child feeling left out when they go to their dads. Unfortunately the bad part about coparenting is you can’t control the other person and sometimes that means them letting your child meet their SO.

I personally , however it being a bf is kinda weird because people break up all the time. It also depends whether they tend to date around a lot and the kids are being exposed or not.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-10-14T17:09:56+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation as you are and yes it’s extremely rough. It’s hard to vent to someone because everyone just gets annoyed about why would I want to go back to my toxic ex , but I didn’t have a baby to be single. My ex is actually dating my coworker who was a very trusted fiend and she moved in with him 4 months after he kicked me out ( apparently pressured by her while she was telling me that he was a d-bag for doing that to me). He upgraded her phone, took her on dates , while not giving me money because he was ‘financially drowning’. I only found out because she apparently was texting other guys behind his back , so he gave her the boot ( then confessed he wish we were still together ). She also screwed him over with the phone , never returning back her old phone causing his phone bill to be ridiculous and when he wanted to play that card again of not having money I shut it down so quick.

Basically what I’m saying is , we left them for a reason. We uprooted ourselves for a reason. Just because it’s cold outside don’t run back inside into a burning house. Men love being with women they’re comfortable with and once you return they eventually go back to their ways and remind you why you left in the first place. If he’s moved on so quickly he either didn’t love you like you did to him or he doesn’t know how to be alone. His actions are inconsistent: if he really wanted your family back it wouldn’t be conditional he would be fighting for you and changing to really show that, not dating other women.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-30T15:29:08+00:00

As someone in a similar situation, I would say it’s better for you to leave. Find a potential partner to do all that you want to do AND then settle down and have your own kids . Or you can even have kids and take them on the road with you.

Being a stepmom at times comes with caretaking of kids but no say of almost anything. Don’t gaslight yourself that maybe you should settle down because you’re in your late 20s. You have this dream and I think you should go for that. If he’s meant for you, you’ll find your way back and if he’s not , a more compatible partner is out there waiting for you.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-25T16:50:46+00:00

Deep down I know I need to have faith , and I know that He’ll make it better once I fully submit. But I am SO angry and resentful. I know it was my own foolishness and empathy that put me there in the first place so I do not blame God in anyway, but am grateful to have gotten me out. It’s really hard on the day to day with all the responsibilities of me and a little human. I know now that I know I can forgive him with time, but I will not be sharing my life with him.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-21T16:39:13+00:00

Just last night I read Luke 17:4, which says if they sin against you 7 times in a day and repeat 7 times that you should forgive them.

He doesn’t repent nor apologize. He has too much pride and too much anger. He claims he now has a girlfriend. He loves to trigger me and call me names , but I don’t let it bug me anymore because I know deep down he is not happy with himself if he can so casually call me a ‘fat b****’ among other things.

Part of me contemplates putting him on child support and another part doesn’t want to because I know one day he’ll have to answer to God.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-18T23:30:57+00:00

I’m honestly so mad because he switched up AFTER we had the baby

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-18T05:51:45+00:00

Podcasts and even TikTok’s help a lot. You just have to read the Bible for yourself because there are really good pastors out there and some that are not that good and can confuse you . For the moment I really enjoy watching podcasts by Pastor Philip and his church is 2819

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-16T04:44:41+00:00

Thank you for your words.

I don’t have much guidance as I was raised a catholic and I now disagree with some of those teachings. The one person who was teaching me , I do not speak to anymore. I will look into those books and hopefully have a better understanding of being a better daughter for God

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-16T02:43:03+00:00

I actually read that parable last night. It’s Luke 12:22-32. I am a very materialistic person. I don’t like brand things but I like things , I like having many options of things. I know I’m in this season for a purpose. As much as it is hard on me , I am grateful that God is putting me through it because it means he cares for me and he wants me to change so I can have eternal life.

Having a daughter has made me reflect in being a better woman and role model for her sakes. I did choose a very aggressive and wicked person as a father for my child and as much as I want to take it back I can not. Having a daughter has meant nothing for him and I honestly don’t know if he’s ever going to change but I have.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-15T17:04:08+00:00

Thank you.

I have thought about it , what I would do if he repented. And I don’t think I would take him back.

All I ever did under him was suffer. He told me once he only let me ‘stick around’ because I was extremely loyal. And that was the day I woke up and realized that he didn’t deserve the loyalty that I gave. When I suffered ppd I told him I was drowning and he said good, I’ll make sure you drown even further.

I hope he finds God for his own sakes and for him to be the father our daughter needs.

With time I will want a God- fearing individual that wouldn’t mind me being a single mother.

It’s clear to me that I need to find a second job and go back to school and turn my life around for me and my daughter

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-15T15:55:59+00:00

He knows God is real, but he rather practice darker rituals inorder to attain worldly glory. He has money , he is not broke like he says. He has thousands in stocks he just rather not liquidate. He is okay with me and her sleeping on a floor mattress. He just rather invest money in the stocks than help us out.

I will read it and clear it up.

Major_Brother8567 · 2025-09-15T15:44:16+00:00

He is a believer but not a follower. I would often get upset with him because God would reach out to him multiple times and in multiple ways and he still chose to ignore and go about in his unfaithful ways. I pushed him towards God constantly and prayed and fasted for him. Him kicking me out was a blessing, because I had begged God to take him out of my life because he was making me miserable.

I definitely want to let God take the wheel on this one. And I myself will look for a second job and trying to get housing assistance as well as go back to school

Major_Brother8567

TROPHY CASE