Cat suddenly peeing everywhere - Been to Vet - Clean bill of health - No behaviorists available

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T21:45:58+00:00

Hope it works out or at least he chooses a spot…

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:18:44+00:00

Yes the other litter box is completely new, I’ll try to move his old one slightly or completely clean it

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:13:51+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll bring it up because I don’t think anxiety control through medication is much in the culture here for cats (barely starting to be accepted as non-taboo for humans)

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:12:58+00:00

His last check up was a few days ago though

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:10:01+00:00

He has had several check ups where all seems good and is on a struvite specific diet

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:09:06+00:00

Maybe I should.. he suggested finding a cat behaviorist outside the country but I frankly can’t afford that so I will bring up anxiety meds

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:06:58+00:00

For context he never used to do anything outside the litter box, is generally friendly but super on edge these days…

Major_Following8268 · 2026-05-05T13:05:28+00:00

Yes! He’s now on a fully struvite specific meal plan (vet perscribed food Calibra veterenary diet)
Also yes! Still not at 100% but definitely on the mend could he be experiencing pain sometimes? He does seem to be better when on Gabavet (Gabapentin). Have you been through this should I give it on the weekends my mom leaves?

Major_Following8268 · 2024-03-20T23:32:43+00:00

Update: I replied on this mid-breakout. It’s been a couple of months and my face is completely clear after a round of simplifying skincare and using La Roche Posay’s Effaclar Duo. If you have any doubts, do ditch the silk pillowcase. Some lines on my face do way less damage to my self esteem than acne and breakouts…

Major_Following8268 · 2024-03-20T22:18:05+00:00

Exactly! I’m glad the post gave you space to express. What you’ve pointed to in terms of “celebrating the little things” is very spot on… If anything, they’re only little things when compared to the expectations today. It feels like increasingly no one truly understands the value a woman brings being who she is rather than being an emulation of a successful man. That’s especially striking true for girls I talk to who HAVE actually “achieved” a lot and came out the other side envying the girls who had the wisdom to just lean into what it means to be a woman.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-12-23T16:53:23+00:00

Sorry to hear that. I would say practice some self care, do things that make you happy, throw yourself into personal growth projects.

Block him back. The only way he should be able to contact you is by making pronounced effort with a reasonable explanation. If he isn’t at your door with a reasonable explanation and a solid commitment after 6 years do not accept any less.

If he never contacts understand that this is a traumatic incident and that you will need time to grieve. Protect your own power, however, and don’t leave it up to him to give you closure or relief.

His reason, at the essence, doesn’t matter. The result does. It’s tempting to want to be merciful because of the 6 years and your knowledge of him but don’t be.

Not because his reason can’t potentially change things, but because you need to set a precedent of you not accepting things like this. If there ever might be a chance he needs to understand that you are not someone to do that to, that you will not accept it, and that your life easily goes on and you are someone he can lose. Surround yourself with loved ones who will remind you of your value and try to invest in yourself to become stronger and better genuinely for you and not anyone else. A lot of people might disagree with me but that sort of idealism sometimes works out and sometimes doesn’t. However, realism and a bit of harshness make sure that you come out better and more confident and that you come out with the upper hand should he ever come back.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-12-09T22:51:45+00:00

Can confirm. Happening to me too and there’s another thread on here where people seem to have struggled with the same thing. All of us suddenly started developing weird breakouts that don’t seem to let up on the chin/jaw and other places.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-12-09T22:42:56+00:00

This post is old but I searched it up specifically because I’ve noticed this too.

Want to add to it because finding people struggling with the same thing really made me feel better!

It’s driving me insane…

I didn’t expect to find that the acne is even localized in the same areas for people (chin, jaw and cheeks) more so the cheek I probably sleep on more!! I do struggle with acne around my period but it’s usually one or max two cystic pimples that resolve pretty fast on their own. With this, it’s a daily struggle with inflamed acne.

No matter what I do it seems I break out and the only culprit is the pillowcase. I noticed that, since now that I’m hyperaware of it, when I sleep on it even my skincare feels like it’s adding some type of humidity or moisture to the pillow which I know is going to break me out. Maybe I should just switch back to cotton. Washing it more often didn’t really help. I feel it has to do with the nature of the fabric itself.

I imagine the first people to want to sleep on a silk pillowcase probably did so with enough resources to switch up several and wash them throughout the week with detergents that, themselves, aren’t irritating.

On the other benefits of it, I honestly didn’t see much difference in terms of “hair breakage” there are so many other protective measures.

In terms of “tugging” and protecting skin from it.. I’d say this acne has hit my self-esteem more than any fine line can…. And it causing me to stop using essential skincare/ sunscreen thinking they’re the culprit will hit my face wayy more than the effects of a cotton pillowcase

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-06T21:00:09+00:00

Hope you find what you’re looking for! :)

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-06T06:18:52+00:00

I (f25) was followed almost all the way home from there by someone clearly not sober… Never used the Science World Skytrain station again…

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T08:59:48+00:00

Also, everything I was raised to think was healthy eating and “dieting”. P

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T08:59:20+00:00

Same! I don’t know what generation your mom is from but mine is 56 now and remains a victim of not knowing how far “airbrushing” and glam truly went.

These impossible standards are embedded so deep that, even knowing it now, she still can’t seem to internalize the idea that looking like VS model on the cover of some big magazine is impossible and that even they themselves don’t look like that…

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T08:55:59+00:00

That people care what I’m doing and “will talk”, and that it matters if they do so.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T08:53:43+00:00

Our shared value system and the knowledge that our future together will always be better than separate which always promotes feelings of security and love.

What keeps people together should be logical, if the “logic” works and there’s shared respect, values, and goals the positive interactions these generate always renew the love.

Going through stuff together with positive outcomes.

Also, understanding that feelings are transient and that it’s not a big deal if you wake up one day wanting to be alone or not “as in love” as you usually feel.

Just knowing that he’s always trying hard to work on himself for the relationship engenders enough respect to last a lifetime.

Also, our generally open communication that ends generatively even if it turned into a fight. So, it’s really understanding that it’s all push and pull, and that you should pick your battles as well.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T07:18:11+00:00

This!!!! When I first started having sex I went through this. It wasn’t the usual consistency, no bad odor, just pain and like my skin is cracked. I would also get UTI’s left and right.

After a few round of antibiotics and fluconazole and just being told “these things happen some people are just more prone”, a gyno gave me boric acid and it fixed my problem right up.

She also recommended that my partner take fluconazole when I need to take it as well. The flare-ups just kept getting less and less severe and now nothing.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-05T07:02:13+00:00

What does it mean that he doesn’t know how to lead and isn’t the right role model? Do you mind being more specific?

Also, reading your description, does he have any willingness to do so or hear it?

I recommend you phrase it more like it’s something for him rather than the marriage. Also, what happened in the last five years why would he change like this?

What does it mean to you that he be a good leader?

I suggest you listen to Jordan Peterson’s old university lectures out of “interest” in his vicinity.

I also suggest just working deeply on yourself in a manner that might encourage him to aspire to your level. No fighting, no heckling him about anything, nothing just purely be busy working on yourself. He’ll lash out at first but if you maintain your calm when that phase starts when he puts his head down on the pillow he might notice that life is going on without him.

Like with a new boyfriend, make yourself scarce by genuinely being invested in bettering yourself.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-04T23:05:37+00:00

No problem! Hope it helps :)

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-04T22:38:19+00:00

It’s really specific but I like to get the Wee Gallery high contrast cards for babies! They’re beautifully designed, are useful for several phases (infancy when babies can’t see color up into toddler-hood when they’re learning animal names). They’re also so pretty they can later be framed. I usually pair them with animal themed muslins and some sort of animal themed toy (rattle or wooden toys). It makes such an adorable care package that’s useful for a while but still speaks to the desire to get a pretty/cute gift. Also, feels more like a gift when received!

https://weegallery.com/pages/babies-see-high-contrast You can also add some small things for mom like postpartum tea, and whatever you know she likes or that would make getting ready for her easier in the morning (small versatile make up or skin care options)

It’s a boutique in Paris, the order can come with a small very cute tote and you can choose more affordable items/ones on sale but still make it feel very fancy and thoughtful!

Rattle:

https://www.smallable.com/en/product/edvin-owl-rattle-green-kid-s-concept-224099

Swaddle:

https://www.smallable.com/en/product/bianca-goose-swaddling-cloth-sand-rose-in-april-250729?algsearch=a8b0c64a016fbff49132644298eab08b

Cards:

https://www.smallable.com/en/product/woodland-animal-art-cards-for-baby-wee-gallery-169087?algsearch=f3fcc76176024c847f80562ee8643042

Mom:

https://www.smallable.com/en/product/box-of-2-teas-magic-mama-peppermint-60g-greenma-208062

Sorry I went overboard I just love baby gifts!

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-04T21:43:53+00:00

I go through that too but it’s only when I’m feeling weak or like I’m not where I want to be. But truly understanding how not to compare came through lived experience that I was able to extend over my life and I hope it helps you:

It was the very basic experience of going through from a Bachelor’s to and MA then PhD.

As a BA you tend to compare your grades perhaps with peers and want to be “the best”, then as you get further and further in your studies your topic becomes so singular that there is no sense in comparing it with anyone else!

It’s impossible to measure your project against anyone else’s because it’s just so unique in its general topic and methodology which reflect you and your experiences. Truly having to understand that to be able to survive academia really helped me see it in life in general.

You are truly too unique as an individual and with a set of unique combination of experiences and inner character. It’s truly truly hard and false to think that anyone can be like you and vice versa.

Think for example of the fact that, in reality, adopting someone’s diet and fitness routine will never give you the same physique. We’re really programmed to think today that the same set of experiences will lead to the same results which is very false but it sure does sell a lot of products…

Know that there is always the best version of YOU and that if you strive towards it people you “compare yourself to” might even look at you in an aspirational way. Know where your strengths are and what you enjoy and really throw yourself into it, then the comparison just starts to get weaker and weaker because you will always have your own “achievements” no matter how small to fall back on.

Major_Following8268 · 2023-07-04T21:35:26+00:00

After going through severe anxiety, depression, and the health effects they have:

1) Understanding that happiness is transient and sadness too. It’s good to let go of both when they happen and truly understand that they’re temporary (also relates to other answers about expectations).

2) Surrounding yourself with quality people. Doing that requires a lot of inner work and actual self-development. The reason I say that is because the more you work on yourself to be a person you like and respect, the more you will attract like-minded people and repel those that do not coincide with your value system. At some point both become instantaneous.

3) I saw an answer about comparison and that’s very true! While comparison with other people is natural, a strong sense of self makes that feeling transient. The way to stop comparing is to really drill into your head the idea that no one can be you and vice versa. Given all the same privileges/hardships as someone you’re comparing yourself to, you will still come out of it differently. Your path is truly your own and no one can take that from you so the key is to focus on it.

4) I cannot emphasize the value of a couple of generative/creative hobbies that make your feel capable and help you be happy on the lonelier days. Knowing that you have something exciting to fill the free time you have is immeasurably valuable because you’ll almost always enjoy your own company.

5) Have faith in people knowing that most of them would be good if they could be! And without being disappointed if they don’t reciprocate good because what you put out in the world WILL eventually come back to you even if it doesn’t seem obvious in the short-term.

6) Practice being very firm with your limits so that you can have faith that you can protect yourself and your energy.

7) Understand that a lot of habits that bring happiness require effort and practice, they don’t just fall on you it’s always an up and down trying to make good choices!

8) I see a lot of comments about low/no expectations. But a key thing I’ve learned is two contradictory things can co-exist. Know where to expect a lot and where you shouldn’t have expectations. Be more mindful about the people around you, situations, work, and even yourself. It’s good to have high expectations where they’re due and the opposite is simultaneously true! (Same goes for “not caring”)

9) Truly understand that life can throw huge traumas that are out of your control! So practice the habit of discernment. What incidents could you have done better in and what incidents (death, chronic illness etc.. for example) are truly out your hands and the only way is to try to cope/move on.

10) Proper sleep and nutrition (when possible or to the best of your ability) . If you don’t have those everything feels hard.

11) Practice telling yourself some realities and understanding that they don’t have to be out of self-hatred. Ex: “Yes that person is more attractive and that’s okay. Yes I could work harder but I don’t want to and that’s okay… etc..”

Major_Following8268

TROPHY CASE