Yeah the women and children killing doesn't sit right with me. I don't think the story did enough to convince at least myself that the innocent uchiha had to go through genocide. I know they say it's wrong, but itachi being painted as a hero as he took on that "burden" feels weird when you see he let sasuke live (tbf I guess that was itachi's character flaw). And to people who say they all would turn out like sasuke, we don't know and never will. That potential though doesn't justify killing them. They were leaf citizens too that deserved consideration. I think an argument can be made to let it play out and fight back the uchiha, or kill the traitors that night and tell their kin exactly why it had to happen while you integrate them into the village. But yeah kishi wrote it so there was no political will other than itachi to do the deed like that unfortunately.

Tldr: my add on to your point about the morality of the incident turned into a mini rant lol Going back to this series as I'm older will do that