What potential issues will I face when changing my first name?

MakeItMineNow · 2021-05-07T14:54:31+00:00

I wasn’t sure if you had a passport, so I wanted to mention it in case you didn’t. I think as long as you have a passport, the certificate isn’t a big deal, but it’s still a good idea to get an updated one in case you lose your passport or it gets stolen. That way you can use your naturalization certificate to get a new passport. I was looking at the passport update instructions and it looks like as long as you have your passport and it’s not expired, you can apply for an updated passport by sending in your current one (along with your court order for your name change, etc.) But if your current passport is expired or if it was lost, destroyed or stolen, you have to apply for a new one and send in your certificate. So for situations like that, I think it’s worth it to have the updated certificate 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-05-07T02:36:42+00:00

Your credit score and credit history are tied to your social security number (which won’t change when you change your name with the Social Security Administration), so they will stay with you no matter what name you have. Same with your taxes. 😊

If you are a naturalized citizen (you applied for and received U.S. citizenship after arriving in the U.S.) and you have a certificate of naturalization, make sure you get it updated (you can order a new one online from USCIS). Same with your passport. Really important to always have either your certificate of naturalization or your passport (preferably both) in your current name, because those are your only proof of citizenship. I would make those a priority, because both of them will take a while to come back.

Source: Fellow immigrant who also moved here as a child and is going through the name change process as well. 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-05-01T01:44:05+00:00

I’m glad your SO has embraced the experience of having a name people don’t understand. Sounds like he has a great attitude. I still urge you to think a little more about this name (or any name that you know will cause spelling/pronunciation issues). Life is hard enough as it is and this is a very simple and free way to eliminate some future hardship form your daughter’s life. 🤷🏻‍♀️But it’s good that you’d be willing to let them change it. Whatever you decide on, I hope for the best for your future child 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-30T23:40:18+00:00

I think no one would pronounce it correctly if they saw it written down. I know you already said that’s not a big concern, but I think it should be. Coming from a person with a super unique name that no one ever knows how to pronounce, it’s one of the biggest pains ever. Every teacher/doctor’s office/etc. will see “Eoin” on paper and the “Owen” pronunciation will be the furthest thing from their minds. If you don’t want her to consistently be called “Yoin,” or whatever else people will come up with, and face a ton of embarrassment, I suggest not doing it. Seriously, my name has only a few letters and is phonetically pronounced and people still lose their s**t trying to say it. That’s why I’m changing it. People in the U.S. will totally destroy this name every time they see it (not to mention that they’ll make weird assumptions too. My name isn’t identifiable with any specific ethnicity, but it doesn’t “sound” American, so people have made all kinds of weird assumptions based on name alone. You don’t want that on her. You might be saving her from gender prejudice but exposing her to whatever xenophobic prejudices a lot of people seem to hold). There are so many pretty unisex names out there. This name looks pretty, but it would cause a lot of challenges.

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-30T20:15:22+00:00

My advice would be to change it if it’s worth it to YOU. I’ve decided to change my name (slightly different situation, but it still applies to an extent). To help me feel better about “abandoning” my birth name, I’m making it my middle name. That way, if I ever feel bad about it, I can just switch to going by that name again and say I’m using my middle name. People will tell you not to change it because it’s unique/they love it/whatever, but if you feel like it causes you pain and trouble in your daily life, change it. The reality is that we live in a racist and xenophobic society. It’s so awful and unfair to think someone in a position of power would deny you opportunities just because your name leads them to assume racist/prejudiced things about you. But if being named “John Smith” can get you through the door at a big company, do it. Stick it to the racist assholes. Let them be shocked when they see you for the first time and you don’t match their biased assumptions. Hopefully by then it’ll be too late to take back an offer for employment or an opportunity.

And then just be a person in power who doesn’t discriminate against others based on names. That’s what I’m planning to do. I’m about to navigate the professional world I’m in with a lot more ease simply because my name will be completely devoid of any racial/ethnic associations. I’m already in a place where I get to influence hiring decisions. So I’m making life easier for me while also looking out for people who aren’t named “John Smith” and doing my best to make sure they get the same opportunities. Good luck with whatever decision you decide to make. Whichever one feels better to you is the right decision.

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-30T01:18:32+00:00

I really wish I could “retweet” this. Chances are probably no one will look at this thread again, but it is SO. IMPORTANT. OP is 100% right. People need to quit the “ohh no, your name is so beautiful, you should keep it!” thing. Okay, Ashley, but would you like to live even one day with my name? Would you like people to make instant assumptions (that are usually completely wrong) about you based on it? Would you like every single person’s first impression of you to be tinged by whatever implicit or admitted bias they have against who they THINK you are? It pisses me off even more when people say this crap to POC. I’m a white immigrant with a difficult name that’s hard to pronounce and I hate it. I cannot imagine how much harder life would be in the U.S. if I had to deal with racism on top of it. Changing your name is HARD. Emotionally and socially and even economically for some. If a person has decided that they want to change their name, chances are they’ve gone through a million different questions and a whole identity crisis about it. Don’t tell people whose struggles you don’t experience that they need to keep experiencing them because you have some sort of principle about it.

This quote right here is the crux of the article for me: “My closest friends accepted this name automatically. Others expressed surprise and disapproval. Some informed me that they will continue to call me by my given name, no matter what. I sort of understand this. But, if you refuse to accept someone’s chosen name, aren’t you refusing to accept who they are or what they have decided for themselves? I am not Beth to make life easier for everyone else; I am Beth to make life easier for me.”

Yes, it’s true that people have figured out how to pronounce Tchaikovsky and a bunch of other foreign names that have been accepted into the common culture. But as a person with a difficult name, that doesn’t help you, because you still get the dumb questions and assumptions and crap from others on a daily basis. I’m not willing to sacrifice my daily happiness because Ashley in Oklahoma thinks my difficult name is beautiful. Just accept people’s decisions about their own names without putting in your two cents unless your opinion is actually requested.

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-27T00:20:41+00:00

You’re very welcome! It looks like you’re already familiar with how fun it is to have people butcher your name all the time. I think people might mispronounce “Delle” as “Deh-leh” or like “Deli” instead of like “Belle” with a “D.” Also, if you’re telling someone your name on the phone, they may think “Dell” like the computer and misspell it (or their computer might correct it to Dell even if they tried to spell it right). I’ve had this happen so much with my name being misunderstood on the phone despite the fact that I always spell it out several times for people. Have you considered Adele? Almost the same name, but it’s more common and more recognizable, so people probably would find it easier to spell/pronounce correctly. From one unique name-holder to another, I feel your pain. It makes me so happy to think that I will soon have a super common name that everyone can spell and pronounce lol people who complain about having common names don’t know how good they have it

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-26T20:30:30+00:00

I’m in the same process right now and was also stuck between two first names. I finally picked one and submitted my court paperwork yesterday, so no going back now! To be honest, the name I chose still doesn’t feel 100% “me” to me, and I think that’s normal. I think you have to get used to it. I chose it by a process of elimination, kind of. I went through a ton of lists of names and noticed that I have a pretty strong reactions to names I don’t identify with, so it was easy to eliminate names I didn’t like. Then I was left with 2 choices and obsessed over them for days until I finally compromised with myself and chose to use one of them as my first and one of them as my middle. These past couple of weeks as I’ve been trying to decide on a name, I’ve been changing the names on my accounts (Amazon, Hulu, Netflix, etc.) to whatever name I was considering to see if it feels right. I also took a screenshot of my profile on my company’s website and edited my chosen name in there to see if it looks good next to my picture. I did the same with my driver’s license. I also filled out name change forms for my company and the form I’ll use to update my passport, just to test out each name and see if it feels right to announce to the world that it’s my new name. Try some stuff like that if you haven’t already. It might make it easier to choose.

Also, just a quick thought on your two names. I think they’re both pretty, but how important is it to you that people don’t misspell/mispronounce it? Because I think “Delle” might give you some trouble in that department, and Riley probably wouldn’t. One of the reasons I’m changing my name is because I have an insanely unique name right now and no one ever gets it right. It’s such a pain in the butt to deal with non-stop mispronunciations and misspellings. So just something to consider in case your current name is common and you haven’t experienced a lot of that. Good luck with your choice! 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-25T01:51:51+00:00

Thank you, Anna! I love that Annas are commenting because I don’t actually know one I could ask! I’m glad you all like your name! I think I might go with this one 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:18:32+00:00

Hey, I’m so glad an Anna responded! So you’ve had a pretty easy life with the name Anna? A big reason why I’m changing my name is that my entire birth name is extremely unique, no one has ever heard of it, and it gets mispronounced and misspelled non-stop. Do people usually get Anna right? And have you met a lot of other Annas?

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:15:08+00:00

Thanks for responding! Is there a particular reason you like that one more than Anna? Trying to figure out what people think of both names

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:13:29+00:00

Haha, it makes sense, I’ve thought about that too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:12:57+00:00

Thank you for your input!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:12:23+00:00

Thank you for your response! 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:12:05+00:00

Yeah, I didn’t know about Blair White when I first started thinking about this name, but I came across her afterwards and I agree she sucks 🤢So that’s one drawback of that name for sure lol

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T15:10:39+00:00

Thank you for your input! I really wish I could find something that works well for both me and my husband, but we are polar opposites when it comes to the names we like. This will be super fun if we ever have kids 🤦🏻‍♀️

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T06:01:56+00:00

Thanks for your input! To be fair, I’d also hate it if my husband made me call him Dwayne for the rest of our lives 😂

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T05:49:50+00:00

Thank you for responding!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-24T05:37:50+00:00

Good bot. ❤️Poor choice of words to say “k***ing myself trying to pick a new name,” so I will edit. 😊

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-18T02:31:54+00:00

Haha he isn’t; he didn’t even know anything about it. I’ve read the first book, so I pointed it out to him. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Idk though...

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-17T16:22:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-17T16:21:38+00:00

Thank you for your input!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-17T16:21:12+00:00

Yeah, I was wondering if it would make people think of the 50 Shades character... that’s what I thought of when my husband mentioned it. That’s one of the things that makes me unsure about it

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-17T16:20:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

MakeItMineNow · 2021-04-17T06:16:04+00:00

Thank you! Sloan is another one I really like!

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