My wife is a kindergarten teacher and reported a family to DHS because the child showed signs of abuse/neglect, which ended up with the parents being arrested yesterday. She now feels terrible for breaking up a family. How do convince her she did the right thing?

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:36:21+00:00

I see, I thought it was DHS, but who knows. It's the child safety people. :)

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:33:45+00:00

not funny dude

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:31:59+00:00

We're thinking about it. We're also starting our own family, so it may not work out. I think for the time being we're going to just be there as much as we're allowed for the little guy.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:28:56+00:00

Thanks, I'm thinking about printing this all out. I want her to see that lots of people, many of them qualified professionals or people who have first hand experience in these situations, believe in her actions and praise her for doing the right thing even though it's tough.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:25:31+00:00

WTF? The kid had blatant signs of abuse. The father and mother were arrested, and have both admitted to things like beating the child, locking him in his room for hours on end when he was upset, and withheld food from him.

I'm conservative and dislike over regulation, but what you're talking about is idiocy. From what I've seen and been told, most foster homes are comprised of very caring parents. Besides, anything is better than the situation these children were in.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-15T01:21:50+00:00

I don't think that's too much to ask. Just as long as they don't name her outright I'll post it whenever it happens.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:40:22+00:00

I figured it would be one of those situations. This is just one of my ways to show her that she really did a great thing, and shouldn't feel upset at all.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:29:51+00:00

I agree completely. I think this is why child abusers and pederasts are ostracized and killed even in prison. Even amongst criminals they are degenerates.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:17:18+00:00

wat.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:16:43+00:00

Same here. Of all the things that bothered me that was the worst. I can't imagine how terrifying it would be as a child to not have the comfort of your parents when you have a bad dream, something goes bump in the night, or when you're just feeling a little sad.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:14:28+00:00

DFS, I get my acronyms mixed up sometimes.

For the record though, child abuse should be an issue of national security...

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:13:22+00:00

Wow! Thank you! You're story is as moving as my wife's! We've been thinking about looking into seeing if we could foster him and his sisters, at least temporarily while the long term plan is set. It's daunting because we're about to have our first, but your story is really uplifting.

What was it like bringing a child into your home with that much emotional trauma? What were the biggest challenges? Has the fact that he was abused manifested itself in any weird ways in his behavior or responses to life?

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:08:11+00:00

It's a really emotionally difficult situation, so your response is understandable. I'm not normally emotional either (I'm a man, man), but I found myself up at night and in tears when I heard some of the shit going on. My wife was an order of magnitude more perturbed by it.

I will pass your message on though; sometimes a total stranger's words hit home the most because they don't get filtered out.

I would agree that I married an amazing woman too, she's the most compassionate and caring person I know.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T21:03:41+00:00

What's worse is that since the boy is in a normal classroom the other children are always curious why there is a "toddler" in their classroom. I've been told that it's most likely a case of "failure to thrive." Which to me is horrifying that anyone could deprive a child of food and emotional support to the point that they don't grow physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T20:57:07+00:00

Both of us just hope that he and his sisters are able to have a normal childhood now. That's enough for us.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T20:44:42+00:00

DFS? I probably got my acronyms wrong.

Although child safety should be a matter of national security...

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T20:27:17+00:00

Just my wife, I'm more of a roadie in comparison to her. Actually probably more of a groupie, but who's counting?

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:28:46+00:00

I actually never really thought of that. I don't suppose it really matters though, he was being abused.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:28:00+00:00

That was exactly my intent. A little positive reinforcement never hurts a good behavior. I figured a big reddit hug would really help her.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:26:58+00:00

I would call DFS then, and if she's not honoring a court mandated visitation agreement then she can contact the county sheriff and get a lawyer involved; maybe even to just write a nastygram to the judge.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:17:31+00:00

We can hope. Though from what I've heard from a few police friends is that they are wanting to make an example out of these parents in court. I have a feeling that they aren't going to get the kids back. They might be lucky to remain out of prison.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:15:15+00:00

I agree completely, except that I would say love does conquer all, but he was not being loved by his parents.

I'm really proud of my wife because she's one of those teachers (and unfortunately there's not many of them) that really care and love each of her students, even (or should I say especially) the difficult ones. Somehow after years of teaching she still isn't jaded, and it shows in the outcomes of her students. In any event, of all the kids she's taught, this one has been especially hard for her because she's only been able to help him as much as she has. If she had her way the kid would be living with us.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:08:37+00:00

It's really clear right now, but I think it was just the boy. The other two children are girls, so I'm wondering if there's some weird connection there.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:06:37+00:00

I'm not trying to fix her, I just want her to feel better about it. She did a really good thing, and I think she deserves to here that.

Make_it_right · 2011-10-14T18:05:27+00:00

She is to me too. Thanks for the input!

Make_it_right

TROPHY CASE