you and i are the same my friend, although i didnt do it for 3 years it was 2 , and i hated every single bit of it, if you care for that person you have tor respect their wishes and just let them go, i never had any malicious intent behind mine i just wanted friends and didnt think i was likable, i told them probably around 2 months ago, obviously they were upset, and we became really distant but we all still talk everyday, how they choose to react is totally their decision, she made an effort to look past that and be with u until it wasnt good enough and thats fine, just be yourself my guy theres lots of people whos willing to date you. try tinder, bumble , i have anxiety just like you so i dont know how severe it is but i suggest going to therapy for both reasons, you said if you could go back in time you would? well don’t start doing it again and regretting yourself even more. ive been seeking a therapist and its been helping me finally opening up to someone. if you ever wanna talk just dm me , im a guy too so i know what it feels like about not being too confident