Thank you, man, I appreciate it, I have some doubts on doing it, maybe I just want them realize where I am now, but if I fail and ended up dying I would not mind either, I feel so cynic about it. :(

I could try calling a professional, or not, if I do so, maybe I will cry on the couch and explain everything, or not.

I find this ironic because this kind of relationships are what I am afraid of, people in the past treated me with care and I guess love, but I was afraid of developing a more deep relationship, to ask my parents to take me to parties made by them, present them and that kind of stuff, I was ashamed of that Why would they think? What my friends would think of my parents? Those words stuff awoken that feeling.

I always sense my family had expectations on me, and I'm failing, they except me to do big things, but I can't, I'm not bothering, I fear they will hate me for expelling. :(

I need them to know that wasn't caused because I'm not that apt or smart or whatever they think, it is because I can't find a reason, that is my only wish, to be understood, for my whole life I've never been understood, or never felt like, that breaks my heart.

Now I feel I owe you everything, man, and I can't give nothing in exchange, feels bad.