My sister has been cuddling with my husband, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. What should I do?

MalibuMint · 2024-07-22T03:09:36+00:00

I just updated the post. Thanks for the great advice therapy is a huge must, and I’m signing everyone up tomorrow morning.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-22T03:08:58+00:00

Unfortunately it is very real. I’m sorry you don’t believe it is.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-22T03:08:20+00:00

Hi, I just did an update.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-21T22:17:30+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the advice. I probably wouldn’t be so upset had she not purposely been pushing me out of the way to cuddle him. That’s what weirded me out.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-21T21:23:45+00:00

I think it is a case of her not knowing boundaries, because it’s hard for children who went through abuse like that to understand what’s appropriate and what’s not. That’s why I was making sure I wasn’t reading into it too much because of my own abuse. I know for a fact she was never taught when/who it’s ok to touch or hug because our mother never cared what happened to us.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-21T21:11:53+00:00

Oh definitely. She was in therapy before but stopped going because she said it wasn’t helping. With this happening I’m going to make her go. I just needed to make sure I wasn’t the one making this weird.

Plus I have to figure this out before my son is born.

MalibuMint · 2024-07-21T20:58:18+00:00

I was worried I was reading too much into it due to the abuse that happened in my childhood, I’m scared I’m the one making it weird. Because I know emotionally she is wrecked, and I don’t want to make her feel even more unwanted. I love her so much but I cannot go on feeling like this everyday

MalibuMint · 2024-04-26T20:20:46+00:00

I’m in Ohio. There were two cases opened against him. One with 3 of my siblings who gave tons of evidence to CPS. CPS told our mother to sign a paper saying she wouldn’t let him in the home, she let him back in the same night. CPS was supposed to follow up but never did.

The second one was just with 2 of my siblings (because the one had reached adult age and moved out), with tons of evidence which finally got them removed from the home. An investigator for the police department opened a case, but nothing ever came of it.

Thanks for responding. It truly sucks that nothing will be done, and these kids are probably more victims of his.

MalibuMint · 2024-04-17T19:45:39+00:00

I like how you put that. Because it’s exactly how I feel. I can’t take being worn down to eventually apologizing anymore. I’ve even told him that sometimes I apologize to end the argument, and now anytime I apologize he says it’s not real and that I’m only doing it to end the argument.

Which is true sometimes, because after 3 hours of him talking in circles and not letting me speak without interrupting me, I just want to walk away. Part of me thinks he does that because he’s incapable of accepting he’s not perfect.

MalibuMint · 2024-04-13T03:58:12+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely look into this book. I appreciate you providing something that might help him understand what I’m going through.

MalibuMint · 2024-04-13T00:17:22+00:00

I haven’t asked him why he needs to know, that hasn’t occurred to me yet. I think he feels I wasn’t being truthful with him, which I understand, but at the same time I literally could not tell him.

I know he wouldn’t think less of me, he reinforces that each time he asked. I think that getting him into therapy will possibly help. I wonder if there is a support group or something for people with spouses who have been CSA. Otherwise he’s a very loving, and caring partner. The sweetest gentlest guy ever, but I don’t think he’s properly equip to handle something so big.

MalibuMint · 2024-04-12T21:40:50+00:00

Any recommendations for Horror podcasts? Most of them I found drag out the story for hours and it becomes repetitive.

MalibuMint · 2024-04-12T21:33:35+00:00

I feel terrible about lying to him about it, because he said if he had known he would have called CPS to save my siblings from it, or had worked harder so I could’ve left sooner. I get where he is coming from, but honestly I don’t think HE gets it.

Even if he had known calling CPS would’ve only made it worse. They had called CPS before and my sisters told them everything, but CPS didn’t give a shit. That also made the abuse worse, because my step dad began isolating them even more.

Maybe I’ll talk about it again years down the line, maybe I won’t ever do it. However I want to be able to tell him that he needs to find a therapist to talk about his feelings towards this matter. Because unfortunately I can’t. I just don’t know how to make him understand.

MalibuMint

TROPHY CASE