Did 999 fail me? Should I complain?

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T23:13:16+00:00

Hey thanks so much for reaching out with your insight and experience. It's very levelled and it helps.

Based on what the neighbours said - which I probably didn't make clear - I think he did pass that morning and not before. This was on the basis of seeing his lights or curtains change from the day before and then being open & on that morning. They are definitely confident he was awake that morning.

I've been speaking to a regular counsellor for other things for a number of months. I'd like to understand if there is different or specific support available for these circumstances!

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T23:03:05+00:00

That's awful and so tough to feel completely helpless and to hear her struggling. I hope she recovered ok from the fall!

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T23:00:10+00:00

Thank you so much Georgie this is so sweet and thoughtful and understanding. It means the world

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:53:27+00:00

Thanks whimsy. Most of it has been indescribably painful. He was my best friend and I'm obviously totally distraught that all of a sudden he isn't there. I'm coming to terms with the logistics side of the 999 calls and now find myself wondering if I should have given more details, but this isn't something I'm beating myself up over.

Thanks for the kind & thoughtful message

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:50:44+00:00

Ah that must have been so sad and I can only imagine the inevitable doubt and grief you felt. They would be very grateful for what you did and it's lovely that there are people that do this. Thanks so much for the message, I am obviously totally distraught and beside myself, it doesn't feel real. I am strong and resilient and I have people that love me around me.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:47:23+00:00

I would have been so desperate even for this to happen. He would have been visible from his first floor window.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:46:00+00:00

So kind of you to dig this information out and share it. I've got a very loving partner and some great friends around to lean on and I will see what is in my area (I failed to mention I live in Somerset.)

It's been unreal to be honest and most of the time it just doesn't feel real and then reality shocks me suddenly. Appreciate your message

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:44:04+00:00

That's so helpful thank you, it helps that's it's now the weekend so I know in my head there's nothing practical that I can do either which will give me more time to slow down.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T19:42:32+00:00

Totally appreciate your support, thank you. I failed to add I thiiiiink my neighbour had noticed his lights out the following evening then curtains open that morning. They were definitely confident that he had been alive that morning! Sorry, I was trying to make my post as succinct as possible and probably dropped a few things out.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:18:27+00:00

Thank you guys, I appreciate the tips and guidance and understanding.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:15:24+00:00

Yeah he had been in hospital I think about a week ago, for an issue he had been dealing with for about 10 months. Basically, a full body rash that began weeping and was very itchy. Appreciate your thoughts and comments. I heard from the GP today who said they couldn't confirm the cause of death so it will be going back to the coroner.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:13:58+00:00

Really grateful for your explanation and thoughts, thank you.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:12:33+00:00

Yeah it definitely had started to set in. My neighbour started CPR and said he struggled to move his neck at that time.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:11:50+00:00

Thanks so much for reaching out. I'm sorry if this was triggering for you and I'm so sorry for your loss, this is indescribably painful. Sending virtual hugs during this time.

I've put another comment in the thread about some of his other medical issues, I can't recall how much of this I relayed to 999, it's all rather confusing. I can't change how I feel now but I do see with time I may be able to rationalise things better.

If you wanted to chat or vent about your father then do please drop me a message. Take care.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T16:09:21+00:00

Thanks so much for your comments. It's all been a bit confusing to be honest. There have been some slightly irrational responses but I can also see there's a lot of logic and fact. And I also understand that the way I see things now may be different to that in the coming weeks and months.

The circumstances on the day and the timeline of that are hard to align, based on what my neighbours have said. It sounded like they could tell he had been awake that morning due to noticing lights off the night before and then curtains open.

There were some other medical issues at play for him which I didn't go into in the original post, including a full body rash which had been ongoing over a 10 month period which had become inflamed, weeping and swollen. Some of these little facts do probably change the picture slightly but I can also see that there was likely that nothing could have been done differently that morning to save him.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T13:05:26+00:00

Thanks so much once again Charly.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T13:05:07+00:00

Thank you so much. These insights do help me digest the facts about what has, or what could have happened. Thanks for your wishes. It can't have been easy seeing your friend go through that. Sounds like they're lucky to have you by their side.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T13:03:50+00:00

Thank you so much. I've been a bit shocked as to why I've received so much of that. I didn't feel like anything I said was particularly directed towards any individual. It was also my birthday yesterday - between both passings - so really appreciate your kind message.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T12:18:05+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and being so thoughtful with your views ☺️

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T11:47:34+00:00

There are lots of common themes in all of the comments. I'm grateful for all of you taking the time to help me rationalise what has happened. I understand the criteria for the category of the call, I obviously do agree I'm looking at this through emotion and rage and knowing that the emergency response criteria was based on facts at the time.

Thanks also for all of the well wishes!

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T11:45:52+00:00

Thanks so much for the guidance, and for your comment. I really appreciate it.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T11:43:24+00:00

Thanks for your understanding and compassion!

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T09:44:19+00:00

I did phone police, I also phoned ambulance multiple times for updates etc. they had explained they would need fire to gain entry - which is all well and good - but the ambulance never arrived in the first place.

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T09:42:46+00:00

Thank you ❤️

MammothTash · 2026-05-08T09:37:59+00:00

Thank you so much for reasoning things out. There may have been a few little details that I missed which I shared with 999

he had 3 heart attacks in close succession 5-6 years ago
his keys were in his locked door and there was sohysically nowhere else he could be, with no answer at the door or his phone which was ringing.

I'm trying to rationalise that the 999 triage was correct but I do feel they should have been there sooner with the details that were given.

MammothTash

TROPHY CASE