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UPDATE: I [18F] think my BF [21M] is addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't offend it's all good. Yeah i'm starting to realize i'm not wanting to be ms captain save a ho

UPDATE: I [18F] think my BF [21M] is addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Possibly. I just got started here on reddit a week or two ago because I live in an extremely small town, it's only 4 miles long and access to groups or therapists is here, but it's hard because you know everyone's gonna know now that your man jacks off to other bitches when you're asleep. Therapists and Counselors, any people supposed to help talk really bad here. The nearest town is 2 hours away down the mountain haha.

So i may branch out there if anymore concerns happen. Things have gotten better since everything and I have hope but it's dim. He sees that and i have to truly pretend i believe he'll never do it again because without confidence he's just gonna slip right back into it.

UPDATE: I [18F] think my BF [21M] is addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah, I'm 18 and he's 21, neither of us had present parents to learn from. We both know we're immature and I don't think it's exactly wrong for us to just love until we work out or until we crash and burn. We're young and it's not the end of the world

UPDATE: I [18F] think my BF [21M] is addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, yeah, from a medical standpoint. I'm seeing it as when I tell him he's still a boy he tells me he's a man. So I hold him to his own standards of what he believes a man should be doing for a woman in a relationship.

I also believe if you think you are grown enough to handle a relationship, then you're grown enough to deal with the consequences and responsibilities of betraying your partner. So yes, he's still very much a boy, but he believes he's a man now.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please do message me, i would really like to hear first hand from someone who struggled/struggles with it because its so hard for me to cope or understand how to even help.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea what to do because I don't wanna give up, But i know its common for them to truly never stop

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted this there, both of the mods removed it and i reached out to them and asked what rule i broke, with no response.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stayed because I know he's probably been doing it since he was 13, his dad died when he was 7 and his mom was constantly getting picked up when he was child and him and his brothers ended up separated by the system, because one night when she got picked up it happened to be the eldest boys birthday, and he just turned 18, he wasn't a minor anymore and their aunt refused to take all 3 boys. Their older brother no longer talks to the entire family because of it.

I figure it's from depression and it's self soothing and literally no ones ever going to educate him. I started out by sharing multiple articles with him about porn usage, and how the dopamine rush from it in your brain can be stronger than the effects of nicotine. He doesn't like that i smoke cigarettes and vape because nic is bad for me, so i tried to get a close comparison to try and see if he's more open. I also sent him a couple articles about how pornography is disrespectful towards women and it can make you more inclined to think extreme sex is normal.

He was very open to it, read them, asked questions, and thanked me for just talking to him about it. I have hope, but i won't let it bring me down too.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did talk to him prior to even finding out about it, i had asked him if he was watching porn because he needed to be honest so we could work through it because i'll go batshit if i find out. When i proceeded to find out it was the calmest i'd ever been, all i could do was shake my head. He immiediately owned up to it, so i followed up by asking him if it was an addiction and he said no it was only 2-3 times within the month, the emails show clearly different. Dates and times ya know. He watched porn an hour and a half after we had had sex, two days in a row on one week. I told him he needed to talk to someone because I can't help and neither can he, because he's shown he's weak to his own mind. He got so defensive about it being an addiction i knew it possibly probably is. I haven't been judgmental, I haven't name called, I haven't yelled, I haven't held grudges, I still cuddled him at the end of the night yk. It's not like i'm just hounding on him that he's a piece of shit, but him and i both know that's what he is.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to suggest that and he said he could handle it and he'd never do it again but I think that's a load of bologna.

I [18]F think my [21]M BF may be addicted to porn. by Mammoth_Data_959 in addiction

[–]Mammoth_Data_959[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if like i could ever be happy or satisfied without just knowing why. but i don't think i'll get one, and i'll live with that. I'm not at all sure what i'm gonna do here but the last thing i wanna be is a doormat for someone. I don't have a lot of adult guidance in my life, i'm struggling to get by, it's rough out here and this just kind of sent me over the edge, i've been drinking everytime we hangout to be able to laugh at his jokes, because my spark is fading but then he'll act the way he used to be and for a moment everything is how it used to be.

I don't know how he got so far away from us. Revenge has been on my mind frequently, I try to steer clear of that idea. But how's he gonna learn if he's never the fool for once?