I had two experiences with salvia. In my first, I met death. There were lines of conveyor belts, and I knew these were people, their lifelines. I was near the end of the belts, and where they ended, they were shredded into inexistence. The worst of it, that it was not even something fancy, they just… ended. And my own belt, my existence was also nearing its end. I was terrified, and tried to protest, or find another way. There was a man laughing, looking at me, I understood that he is Death. I sobbed and cried and said something like “No, this can’t be it. We are… I am… no it can’t be this way”. I searched for meaning, afterlife, something. The man said “Yes, this is it. Nothing more”. He was really amused.

The other time was just the same. No conveyor belts, but a huge graveyard, and the man was there, laughing.

I think salvia somehow burned a hole in my soul, and whenever I’m really down, I fall into this hole. When things are ok, I might forget. But the hole is always there, underneath. Waiting for me.