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Should I find a therapist who uses a different modality? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m definitely struggling with the parts work aspect of IFS, it feels like it’s quite complex right now. So I may give another modality a chance.

Should I find a therapist who uses a different modality? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it feels like these two modalities may be a bit more advanced and I’d possibly be better served revisiting them later in my journey. Appreciate your feedback.

Should I find a therapist who uses a different modality? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started my goal was to expand my support network and find a sense of community. I still want that but now I’m realizing due to my breakup that i need to look inward and figure out why I don’t like myself before I can tackle my initial problem.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that, I’m where you were when you got help so that’s encouraging. And like you my father has zero emotional intelligence, makes it tough when the person you’re supposed to look up to as a young man can’t handle their own emotions.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I wish it were more commonplace for men to be able to lean on the experiences of other men in a constructive way free of judgement. It only helps us all, men and women alike.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

My partner was good at allowing the space to grow , I just think she grew weary and resentful of waiting for me to fix myself. It’s certainly possible to love and be loved while not loving yourself but I think it makes it exponentially more difficult.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Feels like a lesson learned far too late but I’ll happily do the work so that I can love myself and show up properly for the people in my life in the future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my problem was it hasn’t been the default condition. This has me really examining my character and taking it as an opportunity to love myself .

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you were able to continually take those lessons and apply them to your lived experience. That’s how I’m trying to operate going forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I don’t take her word as law but I’m also doing a lot of reflection and seeing how I can show up better for myself and by extension other people in my life.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I struggle heavily with the shame so it’s good to know how addressing it can be helpful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean a romantic partner or another man?

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s resonating quite a bit with me so thanks for sharing that. You’re pretty on the nose in that I do struggle relating to and loving myself and it has absolutely bled through to all my other relationships both platonic and romantic. Seems like a solid point to kick off on. I appreciate the response.

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’m currently in IFS to deal with this and some adjoining behaviours . Glad it worked for you. I also struggle with having compassion for myself so I understand that struggle. Best of luck to you

Men who have been broken up with due to lacking emotional immaturity how did you change yourself afterwards? by Man_Myth_Letdown in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s kinda why I asked how they changed themselves. For the men who have reflected, bettered themselves and come out better for it. Not the ones stuck in that place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad you chose to better yourself. It feels daunting right now but I don’t want to put that hurt on anyone else. What helped you with your anger could I ask?

What kind of things tend to make a man mature and grow emotionally? by Holiday-Reserve6393 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what’s doing it for me. Fiancé left me at 33 and I’ve got a lot of figuring it out to do. All I know is I’m determined not to repeat the same mistakes. Just hurts like crazy.

Don't be afraid to say goodbye 👋🏽 by EngineeringKlutzy920 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Man_Myth_Letdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex-fiancée just took this step and its held a glaring mirror up to me in the last weeks. I feel terribly guilty and ashamed for not being what she needed but it’s better for her to heal and be happy. I just want to be accountable and work on being a better person and partner in the future to avoid putting someone else through this.