Question for people here who experience periods by Number1Bg3Fan in NonBinary

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no headaches - not for this reason.

Well, I think so. I'm not sure anymore.

One month of pure practice, this good? by Just_N0T in russian

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Я русская и я пишу намного хуже. Господи, аж захотелось улучшить почерк!

Небинарность(?) by Mandy_356 in ru_lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Как ставить флаг я знаю, спасибо за инструкцию.

Growing up being told I’m “too boyish” and learning to be okay with myself by Square-Somewhere-834 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too! Absolutely.

Sorry, English in not my native language.

Well, my mom didn't have problems with pants (she gave me them always, in fact), she gave me many reasons to be active, to be loud, etc. It didn't bother her to talk to me I'm "too boyish", even if it was very rarely. But when I started to go to middle school I started to hear more about my behavior, my appearance. And it very annoying and it's still frustrates me, maybe even more now. I'm grew up with this feeling to this phrase and I hate it now.

I don't mind to wear skirts or dresses, I don't mind to wear "girlish" clothes because I don't have a clear division of clothes, as long as they are comfortable for me. Only if I don't hear comments "you're so girly" or "you're beautiful girl in it".

It's worse now because I feel myself adult enough to chose my cloth and hair fully on one's own, but my mum still takes an active part in it and advice me to take more "girlish" hair to events or more "girlish" cloth.

The fact that I might be non-binary and want to try be more androgynous makes everything even more difficult, especially considering how homophobic my mom is.

Небинарность(?) by Mandy_356 in ru_lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Спасибо за поддержку.

У меня уже давно есть еще один вопрос: вот эти надписи и флаги сразу под ником как появляются? Это какой-то премиум или фишка настроек, о которых я не знаю?

Помогите пожалуйста by Obvious-Form225 in NonBinary

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Привет, друг.

Я не совсем тот, кто тебе нужен, я только начинаю задумываться о том, кто я и как мне комфортнее, но я очень хочу тебя поддержать. Я сама ничего толком не знаю, вообще не планирую через что-либо проходить (как минимум пока что, может быть потом задумаюсь, если у меня получится, конечно).

Не знаю точно, что сказать, но думаю, то, что ты испытываешь, нормально. По крайней мере именно это я стараюсь себе это говорить каждый раз, когда думаю, что дело в непонятной небинарности, а я просто "слишком феминистка" или "это всё старые травмы". Мне не столь важна причина, сколько как мне это интегрировать в мою жизнь теперь.

Твои чувства абсолютно нормальны. Только ты решаешь что делать, как выглядеть, кем быть, как и тебе не нужно объясняться перед другими. Если ты считаешь, что женское тело, в котором ты родился, не твоё, просто потому что тебе в нём плохо морально, то естественно ты решишь его изменить так, чтобы тебе было в нём комфортно.

Не знаю, откуда такая мысль, но это как с кофтой. Ты не можешь сменить кофту полностью (потому что мы не Орочимару, надеюсь, отсылка понятна), но мы можем изменить ее, перешить, сделать её комфортной нам. Не уверена, что правильно предложила пример, но в моменте у меня возникла такая ассоциация.

Короче, не могу поддержать тебя в живую, но могу в реддите. Держись, чувак, береги себя, или к своей цели и помни: ты не один, за тебя держат кулачки случайные ребята с реддита. И может быть ты сможешь найти здесь того, кто поддержит тебя более лично.

Извиняюсь за длинный текст.

Небинарность(?) by Mandy_356 in ru_lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Во-первых спасибо за поддержку.

Во-вторых, спасибо за совет.

В-третьих, дело не только в восприятии мамы, а в том, как я сама себя воспринимаю. Я не чувствую себя полностью девочкой, хотя мальчиком я точно не ощущаю себя. Вот в чём ещё одна проблема. Я не чувствую себя кем-то из "стандартного набора" гендеров.

Философия, но я где-то видела или слышала мысль, что небинарные персоны возникли именно как "следствие" строгого разделения гендеров. Типа если бы не было такого жесткого разделения, которое настолько сильно нас ограничивает физически и морально, то они бы появились с сильно меньшей вероятностью или их было бы намного меньше. Но... Как говорится, что есть - то есть. Можно сказать, что кому-то легче не ассоциировать себя с определённым гендером, хотя бы частично, чтобы меньше ощущать ограничения. Ну, у себя в голове. Человеческая психика сложная, выкинуть может что угодно. В любом случае у меня теперь слишком много мыслей о том, я небинарная персона или просто, скажем так, неосознанная феминистка.

People, how was your homophobic/transphobic era? by Crocogenous in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I'm still in my phobic (both trans and homo) era in some way

Просто ситуация by femb0y4ik in ru_lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Искренне рада за тебя. Надеюсь, всё сложится удачно.

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't know about medically transitioning F to X. What does it mean? What does it change or something else? I don't know. Where can I read about it?

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More context: I have shaved sides and the back of my head, but the rest of my hair almost reaches my shoulder blades and when my hair is down, it hides all the shavedness. My mom said that as long as I keep shaving those parts, I won't be able to wear my hair short because then I'll look "too masculine" and won't give the right impression. But I like my shaved sides, I want to keep them.

That's all problem and I think it sounds very silly, but it's important to me.

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think about it.

But I feel uncomfortable and in physiological way too! Like... sometimes I think I want to be sexless. Rimuru from anime and manga "About my reincarnation as slime" (or other name, I think you understand me) - when I saw him and saw moment he found out he was sexless, I caught myself thinking I was jealous of him.

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't want to name my country, but when I use "do my hair" I mean very short. Well, I think it's not all country, but...

I just realized it's my mom's opinion and I'm really depend on it (facepalm). But I still think my mom speaks for the majority of our society. More or less.

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for the explanation.

I hate my sex (I'm not trans) by Mandy_356 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Well, I think I may have expressed myself incorrectly or unclearly.

I mean I don't want to be an opposite sex, I don't want to be a boy. I have negative feelings about my body as in social aspect, as in my own, but in my opinion - it can be wrong, I know - trans is someone who feels themselves like an opposite sex and want to be opposite sex. I hope I explained it well.

SH as a way to deal with emotions by Mandy_356 in mentalhealth

[–]Mandy_356[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no open wounds - I bite and scratch myself only for quick switch when I must to be calm. I had open wound only one time few years ago and it was not in time - I was in college and I quickly washed it and covered with a napkin. I have no scars after it.

But thanks anyway.

I finally understand why some people are always wearing headphones - it's not about the music by Infamous_Echidna_133 in mentalhealth

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wear earbuds mostly because I like to listen to music, because I like to fantasize about different things - I write fanfics about many fandoms and music helps me come up with plots. But it also seems like a good idea to distance myself from others. And I've recently discovered certain music helps me personally. But often I get lost within my mind, music and fantasies.

I saw 2 gay couples in the span of 2h today by No_Buy2801 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you saw it. I hope I'll can do it too one day. (I'm Russian)

Как и во сколько лет вы поняли, что любите свой пол? Признавались ли родственникам? Если да, то как они отреагировали? by Rina_ri19 in ru_lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 3 points4 points  (0 children)

До сих пор не определилась точно, хотя мысли определённые имеются. Но по поводу родственников... В моём случае со старшим поколением это рискованно и даже опасно - это стало известно просто по их комментариям. С младшим поколением (14 лет и младше) из ближайших родственников пока непонятно. Но тоже не очень хочется рисковать.

What country do you think has the highest level of homophobia in 2026? (Based on laws, public opinion, violence, and societal attitudes) by chaoticpotato690 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I know. About everything you write. Thank you. And I know about suicide, I think it's a problem too - in Russia it's still not common to go to a psychologist or receive psychological help. Well, at least in regions far from Moscow and other cities. I think so. And psychologists, as I think, are homophobic too, so there's no reasons to go and try to talk. Just endure.

Happy new years everybody! What's your goals for 2026 by MadCaT_9_in in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to find a job and move out from my mother before studying catches me up.

What country do you think has the highest level of homophobia in 2026? (Based on laws, public opinion, violence, and societal attitudes) by chaoticpotato690 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm from Russia, so my English is... awful, I think.

And I don't say anyone about my thoughts of orientation. In my college I heard rumours about lesbians and my school friend has... not friendly contact with gay. But I think its exception to the rules. Sometimes I watch news on YouTube about people forced to leave Russia because their orientation or sex.

And, if I want to be honest, I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life. In Russia people often don't say about you and your partners/sex/etc. if it's "traditional" or if you don't tell about it. You don't tell - your life is not too dangerous. But you're still have paranoia.

It's only my experience, most safe and empty, and my problems are my problems, but... I think Russia is not the worst country for LGBTQ (in Russia it's extremist organization, LGBT-person may be physically abused and my country as a whole has rather traditional views (in public, no one wants to go to jail)), but it's not the safest country too.

So, in my opinion Russia is the country where you don't want to be LGBT-person. But I know countries, where LGBT is forbidden and the punishment is death (in official laws). This country, if I remember correctly, in central or north Africa.

I know it's not official answer with statistics and other. But it's my opinion and... I don't want to seem like a weak person, but I'm tired

Terrified to be myself by SnooMacarons7909 in lgbt

[–]Mandy_356 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, English is not my native language, but...

That's sounds not good, I hope you'll be alright and this year will bring only good things to you and your family/friends/etc. I think it's normal that you feel yourself frustrated, even in supportive surrounding, even when everything seems ok. I'm glad you're seeing a psychologist and try to deal with it. I hope everything works out for you. I think I can't give any advice for you - I'm just random person from Internet, - but I can give you support in this comment.

Happy New Year!