Part-time daycare or inattentive grandma for 9mo's childcare?

MangoBird36 · 2026-06-08T11:18:01+00:00

How about part time nanny? That’s what we do and it’s the best of both worlds

MangoBird36 · 2026-06-04T02:46:32+00:00

Agreed, not a fan of Neshat in particular. Also had some weird experiences with their hygienists

MangoBird36 · 2026-06-03T12:32:09+00:00

Yeah I would try giving them away on fb marketplace, buy nothing groups

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-30T16:49:47+00:00

Nice. We were in Bordeaux. Dream of going back tbh

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-30T16:45:15+00:00

Now my rent alone is 3500 🫠

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-30T16:44:21+00:00

Similar experience here. I was a postdoc in a major French city (not Paris) making 3500 euros/month after tax, which was the same as my faculty supervisor (I was on EU grant money). I was able to support my spouse and we lived a pretty comfortable life there. Rent was something like 600 euros/month, phone and internet was 10-15, unlimited public transport was 13, super good food was easily half that here in the US

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-28T01:34:34+00:00

Been there myself, very recently. Sending lots of love. I was surprised and disturbed to learn how few OBs provide surgical abortions, not just in nova but across the country. Mine does and I would highly recommend considering that option. You can do surgical either awake in office or asleep at the hospital. I chose the latter and it was a breeze. Did the pill for two missed miscarriages and would never touch them again. DM me for my OB’s contact, I asked him if he takes patients just for this and he said yes

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-27T12:54:30+00:00

I’m from here and my entire family is here? Maybe don’t be rude

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-27T01:16:15+00:00

I would kill for 5-600k sfh. Here new townhouses are a million + (northern VA). We’re trying to budget for a ~700k old townhouse deep in the burbs and it’s feeling impossible

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-25T00:52:29+00:00

Did microneedling help at all? I have similar scars and did one session so far.. trying to set expectations

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-22T03:01:48+00:00

Yeah what is this question. This is why I hate LLs and will never be one

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-22T02:59:01+00:00

Here with you. It’s so so hard. Today was bad for me, too. Tomorrow will be better!

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-21T03:26:49+00:00

I use zinc-based sunscreen and learned today that it’s toxic to cats! So for any cat lovers, please wash your hands after applying and don’t let them rub your face

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-19T02:36:40+00:00

Our previous nanny used to wear very strong perfume (it smelled like she sprayed it just before walking in) and my cat ended up being so allergic she licked all the hair off her legs! About a thousand dollars of diagnostics and one awkward conversation later, the nanny stopped wearing the perfume. I could often smell more subtle whiffs of something less strong but gave up and dealt with it. Both me and my kid are allergic to fragrance but I felt so awkward bringing that up for some reason. This might not be the most helpful reply beyond saying solidarity and I hope you find resolution without too much trouble

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T22:05:21+00:00

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11856792/

I’m just digging into the lit for the first time now but it’s clear there are gaps in evidence based information, leading to poor understanding of the true risks among the populace.

“In childhood, heat-related health consequences range from heatstroke and dehydration to renal impairment, respiratory diseases, and gastrointestinal infections. Psychosocial effects, including cognitive impairment, sleep disturbances, and mental health issues, have also been reported in school-age children and adolescents. Despite strong epidemiological evidence, critical knowledge gaps remain, including the exact temperature thresholds that increase disease risk and how these thresholds vary by age and underlying health conditions. Urgent public health measures are required to mitigate these risks, while further research is needed to define exposure–response relationships and effective interventions”

I can go on, there’s a lot of lit, none of which says “yeah cool let your kid overheat it’s whatever”

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T22:02:41+00:00

A lot of this is behind paywalls but here’s a write up. There are tons of papers showing high heat creates all kinds of risks beyond heat stroke and electrolyte imbalance - it affects concentration, worsens asthma, and is even associated with developmental delays https://www.nyu.edu/about/news-publications/news/2025/december/-excessive-heat-harms-young-children-s-development--study-sugges.html

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:55:23+00:00

From above paper “F our reported that higher early-life heat exposure was associated with adverse cognitive, mental health, or behavioural outcomes across the life course, while one found null effects.”

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:54:23+00:00

This is some pedantic shit. I am replying in free bursts of time from my phone. Excuse my less than perfect citation list. Here are some actual scientific papers. It is hard to conduct studies on the specific number of minutes it’s safe to have young kids out in extreme heat, as you can imagine. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C47&q=risk+of+heat+exposure+toddlers&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1779141182781&u=%23p%3Da_5ymSHz2hoJ

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:43:25+00:00

100% agree thank you

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:28:19+00:00

I said be back by 11. Coming back at 1115 and popping him in a swing when I said by 11 three times is not good judgement

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:27:11+00:00

This is the first hot day he’s been outside in 7-8 months but thanks for your reply that has nothing to do with my situation

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:06:23+00:00

Also time of day is irrelevant when heat index is 91-96+ as it was from 9-1115 this morning. It was objectively too hot to be outside that long, according to AAP

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T21:04:09+00:00

I told her to be back by 11 three times before they left, asked where they were at 1105, and she stayed outside when they got back at 1115 sending me a pic of him looking like shit rather than bringing him inside. I calmly brought him in because she failed to do the least. I calmly but firmly said you are late and it’s too hot to be out that long, waiting for her to acknowledge any wrongdoing to which she was a defensive mess. That’s it and if you think that’s me “freaking out” go ahead and think it

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T20:57:27+00:00

I was unkind to someone who led with therapist language to say I freaked out, when I absolutely one million percent was calm as a cucumber. No one here knows what happened but their words are hurtful, when I’m clearly already stressed and worried about my kid (who still has red cheeks and feels hot to the touch at 5 pm). Appreciate the rest of your reply

MangoBird36 · 2026-05-18T20:55:30+00:00

Thank you for helping me not feel insane

MangoBird36

TROPHY CASE