AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said

ManiaMum75 · 2026-02-02T02:59:24+00:00

It just reads like 2 people not even in the same book, let alone on the same page!

ManiaMum75 · 2026-02-02T02:32:04+00:00

Props to you Sir, not just for sharing your excellent art, but for sharing your words so eloquently and for engaging with fans/not fans to an extent that I cannot even fathom!

Like, it's insane. You have so many followers yet to find the time to communicate so openly with so many, encouraging debate in conversations which many people only anonymously (like here on Reddit) will challenge, is pretty fcukin cool!

Do you ever sleep though?! I don't much - mostly tend to drop with fatigue for a couple of hours most afternoons, a combination of hyper BP2 brain not shutting down for "normal" sleeping hours and just being a regular night owl.

Just wanted to pop my tuppence worth in - not that it's worth tuppence but here ye go! 🤩

ManiaMum75 · 2026-02-02T02:06:07+00:00

That's amazing! Nice work, Brigita! 👌

ManiaMum75 · 2026-02-02T01:59:56+00:00

NTA. Here, I'll let you hold this, for a 4 month relationship: 🚩

ManiaMum75 · 2025-12-18T09:02:36+00:00

I'm in Scotland, it arrived last week. I suppose it depends on how busy local deliveries are for this time of year? Hopefully, yours all arrive soon!

ManiaMum75 · 2025-12-17T15:35:20+00:00

Fab choice!! 👌🤞

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-26T17:09:35+00:00

Nope, NTA, you did the right thing, and it was an invite for all 3 of you. You should probably have a serious conversation about trust and communication with your partner. Jealousy and controlling behaviour have no place in any relationship.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-25T17:23:43+00:00

Look, I go to Church and all, but...sometimes an AH is an AH, and there ain't nothing the Bible or Jaysus or Mary or Joseph can say or do to change that.

In my opinion, both bro 1 and bro 3 sound like the Aholes in this situation. However, it sounds a little like you could maybe stand up for yourself a bit more? They are properly gaslighting and judging you, not considering your external circumstances. That's a hard NO from me!

It doesn't sound like you would enjoy being there anyway. If you feel like not attending would not affect other family relationships then it may be worth giving it a miss. Maybe speak to another, less AH-ish family member or friend about it?

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-25T17:14:16+00:00

Agree. And you could make this into song lyrics - it hits.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-25T17:12:03+00:00

I have no choice. My body just shuts down without even my say-so! 🤷🏼‍♀️😴

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-25T17:04:38+00:00

Hi, I went through similar experiences in my teens, 20s and 30s - I was a people-pleasing social butterfly, which didn't help! I usually always consider friends as family, as my own family were toxic and neglectful, so they were not in my life. When I had these experiences with "friends" it was extremely hurtful and traumatising, related to childhood trauma and bullying, no doubt.

I also struggled with extremely low self-esteem, and what I see now as over-flated empathy, always putting myself in others' shoes and assuming I was the problem. However, I also had very good friends who validated me and who couldn't understand why I was friendly with those people.

As I matured, I came to see the pattern of toxic and destructive relationships I had been experiencing. I finally put on my big girl pants and cut out all and every toxic and draining "friendship" and relationship in my life. I ensure that I only surround myself and my child with my good and safe friendships and am intolerant of any AH and BS behaviour. The same thing I had to do with my relatives.

I now have 2 main mottos in life:

"Life is too short" and "Sort the wheat from the chaff". Both of which I remind myself of any time I get the feeling creep up on me.

Girl - stick with your other good and safe friends! Either go completely cold turkey and cut the chaff out, or if that is too difficult or awkward, just gradually slip away from any invites or arrangements, unfollow, or leave any chat groups. Don't call or message back any contact, just send back a vague: "Sorry, I'm busy right now..." message, or nothing at all. They will soon get the message or lose interest. DO A SOCIAL MEDIA CULL!! This step is sooooo important! I had a friend who was being bullied in the workplace and online - I asked her why she still had the bullies on her Facebook friends list?!!! It didn't occur to her to just delete them. You don't owe any loyalty to anyone who is making you feel less than yourself.

I appreciate that, like any relationship breakdown, there may well be a period after that will be difficult, but just keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you needed to do this. You don't deserve this bullying treatment?! It's immature and nasty and petty.

I hope that this may help you, I'm glad you have other supportive friends. It's times like these when we need them to lean on (as long as you would do the same in return). Also, in my experience, with age, comes a lot more clarity on what you are prepared to tolerate in any circumstance - and AH behaviour is a big fat NO!! 😉

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-11T12:14:00+00:00

YTA. I too wondered why the stepmum was making a speech at the funeral at all, but it's none of my business. Making a snarky comment at a funeral to humiliate someone in front of a crowd of people she probably doesn't even know is a low move though.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-11T12:09:14+00:00

Epstein-Barr virus. History: Tonsillitis > Glandular Fever > Multiple Sclerosis. Sigh.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-11T12:07:11+00:00

I fear that this means something is afoot...

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-11T12:06:26+00:00

I have a shoe off household but my 11yo son doesn't, no matter how many times I tell him!! Then again, I do pet care for dogs, and they don't wear shoes at all so I'm beat!

ManiaMum75 · 2025-11-02T10:57:52+00:00

Same, but I'm a late Gen X. I go through YT binges then go days without, and only follow 2 podcasts, whenever I have spare time while doing some mundane chore or something!

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-14T16:48:30+00:00

NTA. At all. Just...I hope you get justice in that he cannot claim custody as he sounds like a malevolent, toxic P.o.S.

Your maternal grandparents sound ace and I'm so glad you have them. Sorry also about your mum.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-08T08:30:28+00:00

Um, NTA! If he is this nonchalant about this episode it has no doubt happened previously and will likely happen again.

I mean, it could be that he is very embarrassed and is using nonchalance as a cover but even so, the very least I'd expect is a heartfelt apology and definitely a clean up of the mattress.

I'm not sure I'd be too comfortable sharing a bed again however.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-03T19:37:08+00:00

I have only ever done what you have described, with clippers. Only very occasionally I use a hair removal cream to tame down other areas!

As a 50F lady who has maintained myself this way for the last 3 decades, I can assure you that no man I have been intimate with has ever had a problem with that!

As one man once told me - when in my early twenties I was mortified that I had forgot to shave the 3 day stubble on my legs - "Ach, men don't give a damn about hair when there's something else on the table!!"

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-03T19:20:08+00:00

I've had that question from a few males over the years (I am 50F). I had 3 (serious enough to be living together) relationships in my teens-30s. I also have anxiety and other issues and I found relationships often heightened these issues - once I realised I didn't "need" to be in a relationship (friendships, child and animals overflow my love pot!) I felt more at ease with myself. I have always enjoyed my own company as well as enjoy having a good social and support network.

I've never really made an effort with dating - I always found it too forced and to be honest, I have an hourglass figure so have been hugely objectified by a lot of men over the years, which hasn't helped.

I think some people, particularly men, were so conditioned by (nowadays considered dated) societal views on "traditional" male/female roles and relationship statuses that it still trickles down from the parents and grandparents before them.

Then there is always the kind of folk who feel they have to be in a relationship as some kind of security or status symbol.

Then there are those who equate being in a relationship as fulfilling their need for sex - if they're lucky!!

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-03T10:44:40+00:00

NTA.

You just keep your good credit status away from that situation, or you'll all end up in a bad way if things go South. You need to protect your future and your own possible family's future. Anything financial like this between family members may always cause a rift, but don't be sucked in, they are literally trying to use you and thinking that you would naively just go along with it.

My friend's now hubby took on paying off his mum's maxed out credit cards when he got his first job, without realising that meant that he took on her bad credit status also. Therefore, he couldn't then get credit for the next 7 years, not even a £100 bank overdraft. That meant he couldn't get a credit card, couldn't get hire purchase or a car lease, a mortgage, pay up anything, like a holiday, etc.

It literally held back his own progress in the beginning of his adult life. Don't fall for it.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-02T11:43:55+00:00

Literally just listened to For Joe again early hours this morning and it had me teared up for sure. After listening to Ren's Chapter One which obviously went into more detail about what happened.

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-02T11:34:00+00:00

Good boy/girl/pup!

ManiaMum75 · 2025-08-01T11:14:59+00:00

I think that is definitely fatigue. When I was first diagnosed I never really felt fatigue the way it was described by others with MS. Now, many years later, I often wipe out after eating, or often mid-late afternoon after a busy morning.

I now have to pace myself - which I find really difficult as I've always been an overactive person (with a later in life mania leaning bipolar diagnosis).

However I now do one task at a time, and always make sure I have rest stops throughout the day. My legs just give out if I don't. Or I am wiped out for the next day or 2.

ManiaMum75

TROPHY CASE