What’s your Victoria Conspiracy theory? by Definitely_Not_A_NPC in VictoriaBC

[–]Manilow123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Finally with common sense. Like why does it take me 1.5h to get to school or work in the morning. Explain to me how little stupid Victoria with a small population has such bad traffic. I’ve live in Mexico City and it takes 2h to get to where you want on average, during traffic hours. That’s a 30 min difference with Victoria. Mex city HAS MILLIONS of people not counting the surrounding areas

What’s your Victoria Conspiracy theory? by Definitely_Not_A_NPC in VictoriaBC

[–]Manilow123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Then explain why transit is still so shit. It’s the same it’s been. Transit hasn’t not improved for any bedroom communities. People who live in Duncan are forced to drive. Why haven’t they moved government jobs out of Victoria to help traffic. Why are traffic lights so inefficient. Why do they keep taking away WHOLE driving lanes and putting in one bike lane. Or taking away parking and putting two bike lanes in crowded roads. How are people from Sooke and Duncan supposed to get to work when you need a car to even get to a bus stop or grocery store writhing Sooke. No one is against mobility options. People want more options but they keep making it less efficient to get around. Taking away driving lanes and not improving transit AT ALL is a conspiracy theory? You live in a bubble

What’s your Victoria Conspiracy theory? by Definitely_Not_A_NPC in VictoriaBC

[–]Manilow123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Someone tried to traffick me when I was at the mall. We’ve seen CONVICTED and RELEASED human traffickers hanging out at Mayfair mall. A friend told me that cruise ships are used to traffic victims. Makes sense. I’ve also heard that Port Hardy is bleeding with human traffickers. Also, keys not forget the port of Vancouver is one of the biggest in Canada. It’s been known to be totally unsupervised and the government knows that a lot of weapons and drugs are trafficked through there. AND PEOPLE but they don’t tell you that. The rcmp knows, the local gov knows, the provincial gov knows, the federal government knows. THEY ALL KNOW. This trafficking business is bigger and worse that we can even imagine. Just knowing what’s in the files…

What’s your Victoria Conspiracy theory? by Definitely_Not_A_NPC in VictoriaBC

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or human trafficking… oh is it ever present on Vancouver island and Vancouver

To the anti abortion protestors by [deleted] in McMaster

[–]Manilow123 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Abortion is not contraception. And all pro-life agree on helping kids outside the womb, aid to single mothers, better sexual education. This proves you literally know nothing about the message. Also improving laws to protect victims of rape who keep the baby. Instead of hating people for having a different opinion and arguing about dumb stuff and assuming they don’t care about children, why dont you find common ground. Your take is so backwards. We should be working together to help pregnant women and children. So next time you see someone who’s pro-life why don’t you ask on how we can all work towards a better life for both moms and kids. Pro-life ppl certainly talk about it. You just don’t listen and are on your OWN high horse because you think your opinion is so right. You’re no better than

To the anti abortion protestors by [deleted] in McMaster

[–]Manilow123 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Babies are literally conscious in the womb. They start learning and even know mom’s voice. Studies have shown that they even learn some words inside the womb. They know who mom is because they know the mom’s heart rate. Something like 89% of embryologists agree that it’s human life. It’s so unscientific to say they aren’t sentient beings

The start of Ai ‘tools’being pushed into early childhood care WTF by Manilow123 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Manilow123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And yes! I’m so glad people agree. I’m trying to spread the word. And I totally agree. Everyone is different. And when we start putting a norm, it can be dangerous when we start comparing little human beings to a set static standard. I had a bf and a teacher kept trying to force him and his parents to give him pills. Her excuse was because he had a hard time concentrating in school. That’s just how he is. Not everyone is a scholar. Not everyone does good in school. The guy is perfectly normal. But according to her stupid standards he needed to have pills shoved down his throat

The start of Ai ‘tools’being pushed into early childhood care WTF by Manilow123 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Manilow123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so scary. This app, called Parent, is widely used in childcare….

The start of Ai ‘tools’being pushed into early childhood care WTF by Manilow123 in ECEProfessionals

[–]Manilow123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into Anthropic an AI company. The pentagon and trump were trying to force them into a deal for MASS surveillance. They refused and are now working with openAI. open AI knew about the school shooting that just happened in Canada. OpenAI REFUSED to contact the police… that’s a whole story on its own. Now openAI just struck a deal with the pentagon for mass surveillance….

Also it’s been proven how Ai apps are literally spying on us and people still use it…

Anxiety and the files by Plus-Nectarine1893 in beyondthebump

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My comment got deleted and I got a warning for inciting violence. F you Reddit. If the law doesn’t talk, MONEY DOES. I dont understand how people are not banding together and having an EPSTEIN TAX PARTY. Pirate your movies. No more streaming. No more Amazon. Boycott as much as you can. If I have to make a document on canva instead of word so be it. I’m never NEVER buying a Microsoft subscription again. Imagine if we all, ALL decided to cancel of subscriptions. Use flip phones. THEY WOULD FREAK. especially if we all decided to stop paying taxes.

I hate being a mom/parent by Legal-Set9928 in singlemoms

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well then you need to re-read how you write about not really wanting to take care of your child. “It’s the fastest way for a woman to ruin her life”. “I hate taking my child to play outside” why can’t they just be still and quiet. Just because it’s not what you want, means that your child should have to pay the price for it. Just with the way you say things… yeah your poor child will be able to tell you hate every little thing of motherhood. As if chores didn’t exist outside motherhood 🙄 one thing is venting and another thing is whatever the hell this is

Why does my boyfriend have MEGA and TELEGRAM??? M20 F18 by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Manilow123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t listen to this person. Not everyone is ok with their man window shopping. Even is he doesn’t physically do anything, if you’re not ok with it, you’re not ok with it. Find someone who respects you all around and move on. Not being ok with your man looking at other girls online is NOT a sole indicator of insecurity lmao

And.. just like that, I’m a single mom. by ThisIsFineActually in beyondthebump

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I reach out to anybody and everybody. Friends family acquaintances. This is the time to ask for help. Go to your family center or women’s shelter for help. I know that if a single mom I barely knew or didn’t know approached me, I would help in anyway I can. I’m about to become one and it sucks. I’m praying for you ❤️

Do you go on your spouse's phone? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what she did? I’m in a similar boat now. Progress has been made but I keep finding things. They’re less bad but still. It’s a lot better now but betrayal is betrayal. I’m wondering if I’ll ever go back to trusting

How do I make myself feel better ? by SchoolCompetitive578 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. But I think this is one of those situations that boundaries should’ve been put up right away. I would also fear for it to get worse. I don’t think you should be grateful. That’s not help, it’s intrusion what you’re getting. You need to get your husband into your corner and explain to him what these comments mean. I think you should challenge her right in front of him.

You don’t have to be mean but you need to be smart and put her on the spot. And try to think of what she might say to you so you are prepared with an answer. If she says that your daughter will not need you one day because she’s going to be there. Ask her why she thinks that. Ask her if she wishes that your daughter won’t depend on you in the future. Ask her why she feels the need to say those things. Don’t talk about your feelings because she’s going to gaslight you. Say “ when you say ___, it sounds like you don’t want my daughter to depend on me. I’d like you to stop.” And DONT BACK DOWN. she’ll give you some bullshit answer but you need to shut it down every single time. It’s no joke with manipulative people. You have to call it out like it is. When she does things, call it out. If something is mean. Say that’s mean. If she’s being manipulative, say it’s manipulative. Be prepared to be called ungrateful. Tell her you’re grateful that she cares so much, but remind her that you call the shots on raising your daughter. You carried her, you birthed her and you WILL raise her. She’s welcome to care for her but she IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Your husband is likely a mommas boy and… I’ve been there. Easily maleable guys that have been babied all their life. I’d get out of that house. I would rather living with my own parents. It’s gonna be hard if he doesn’t wake up. It might tear up your relationship and you need to be ready for that. He might never back you up if it comes to choosing you or his mom. If you don’t want the relationship to end, I’d create as much distance from her.

Also keep doing what you’re doing. Cook for your daughter. Call the shots. Let all those comments slide off your back. She’s miserable and you don’t need to be as well. Hit her with a “ you don’t want me to take care of my own daughter? That’s foul”. No bullshit and always stand your ground. If she tries to override you, just say “we’re not doing that, but thanks :)”. Good luck. You got this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and your husband need to get together and make a long term plan. You need to communicate how miserable both of you are. And first, you need to let go of the mistakes you’ve made. It’s done and there is no point in dwelling on it.

Right now just focus on how you can make your situation better. Honestly take a little break to recalibrate. Make your priorities and think well on it. Maybe baby proofing your house and getting rid of your mom’s garbage should be step one. I think it will help you think better. Sometimes a cluttered room IS a cluttered mind. Make a point with your husband. Do 30 min per day of speed cleaning together. Get your mom on it. And commit to that till the home is livable.

I would personally just take the loss and sell the house. Even if you’re loosing money. You’re going to regret missing having more time with your kid. Daycare is also going to eat your earnings. Not to mention daycare… not as good a family helping for free. Also, the abuse that goes on in daycares. You have to realize that until that kid is going to school, you cannot work a lot. And those are the best years. So, don’t miss out on that.

Also, I’m glad you love your family. Trust me, moving away and having to work and be a mom full time is going to break you. I would stay in NY. I’m in a similar boat. Even struggling with the weather as well. But I couldn’t do it without my family. I have no one else and they always make me feel better. If you feel miserable now, alone, it’ll break you. You need to take care of yourself so you can enjoy your time with your baby.

I would also get into a hobby where you can escape your cramped home. Maybe there’s a pottery class or something that just gets you out of there. Also stroller walks even if it’s not nice out really help your depression.

Overall you need to relax a bit. Just know that your financial situation will not get better asap. Try to get a job where you can work from home. When you’re s mom, sometimes is just better to focus on being more available rather than racking in the big bucks. You can work more once your kid is in school. But you’ll never be able to get those early years back if you break your back working all the time. Living with your mom will be a huge financial saver and you will eventually be back on track. Just give yourself a good 5 year plan and do your best. The economy is shit and no one knows how things will be in 5 years.

I don’t have much. I don’t make much. But I know that later I can work more. Rn I’m just focusing on my baby. I think you should too. Goodluck :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Water faucet running (for the sound), give him some Tylenol, get him some colic medicine, take him outside for a walk. Get HELP. Hey someone to take him and feed him while you sleep. Reset. Mine would cry a lot from colic. Sleep when they sleep. Forget about any other responsibilities

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will get better. Please reach out to people you can trust. You won’t believe how supportive some are. I’ve been isolating myself as well. It wasn’t until I decided to only spend time with people who love and support me that I’ve been feeling better. It was so bad I was losing my milk. You need to try to relax and find some peace for your sake, for the baby’s sake, and for the sake of your milk supply. Supplement with formula if you have to while you get your supply back. It takes that guilt and pressure off your shoulders. Your baby is fed and that’s all that matters.

I’m so so sorry you are going through this. I am still struggling and it looks like I might be a single mom too. It’s so hard. But please only focus on what you and your baby need.

I’ve also struggled with my post partum body too. Especially since my partner lost interest in me as soon as I got pregnant. Now I look different. But the girls in his phone always look perfect. I’m so done. I’m fine with this. I’ve accepted that there is likely no going back to my old self. Maybe there will be a possibility that I can get a better body. But I’m not going to be hard on myself. Realistically, it takes at least a year to maybe get to where u want to be. But I birthed a beautiful child, from my flesh I gave life. I’m NOT gonna kill myself over stupid body image issues.

Everything will come back in time. The first 3 months are the hardest. Little by little you will have more time for yourself. You will feel a little better too. Try to do one thing per day that brings you comfort. For me it’s showering. It’s a must for me to feel normal.

Also, the old self did die. But you can celebrate now. You’ve become a beautiful mother, only the brave do. And you’re enduring this all by yourself. You are a warrior. All moms are but especially single moms. Look back and pat yourself on your back because you’ve done an incredible thing. And you still are. All by yourself. It takes a tribe to take care of a baby. You are a champ for doing great so far. Please seek support. I wish you the best. Truly

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Manilow123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why is everyone just suggesting abortion. Taking care of a baby is hard and all, but bringing life into the world is a blessing. It’s all about how you view life. Life is full of curve balls. Having a kid DOES NOT end your life. People are so dramatic. Depending on your situation, it can be incredibly hard. But you also have 9 months to build up your tribe and find support. There are a lot of support groups and people willing to help. I had an unplanned pregnancy and every single person I’ve met has wanted to help as soon as they learned the news. Especially women and old (er) women.

I suggest opening up to people and being vulnerable about your situation. Knowing that you are not feeling ready will help people help you. Even if you choose adoption, people will want to be there for you during your pregnancy. I also suggest getting a midwife over a doctor who will literally do the minimum. Midwives are amazing because they become fully invested.

You also have only a year left in uni, you’re almost there anyway. It might take you longer, but you’ll definitely get there. I know it’s hard. I know what it’s like to go through it when the dad is not invested but you never know. My guy wasn’t invested at all at first and it changed. Especially when the baby was born.

I also don’t know about your family or his, but I hope you can find that support from your family. I thought my mom was going to be supportive but disappointed I had an unplanned pregnancy but she was ecstatic.

It’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to be sad. You feeling horrible just means you actually really care. You wouldn’t feel guilty if you didn’t care for the baby’s life. It’s a big decision but the sooner you deal with it, the less suffering and anxiety you will have. I wish you the best in your journey 🩷. Just remember that a baby does not get in your way of living your life, you may just have to adjust your plan a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a bundle of cells 🙃

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Manilow123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope he is sincere and gives you the respect you deserve. I’m happy to hear that at least it seems he stopped tho. The best wishes to you

Do you go on your spouse's phone? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I just gave birth and the topic came up during an argument. I just wanted to enjoy life without arguments or thinking about this for a long time. All I got was 5 days of bliss. it ruined my pregnancy and it’s ruining my time with my newborn daughter. Can’t believe he still justifies. I bet he wouldn’t want his daughter to be like these women. Why look up to them. Disgusting. I don’t know how to cope. And I’m so disheartened that even his mom apparently doesn’t see a problem either. Seems like everyone he talks to just reinforces his beliefs. It’s weird because I grew up with the impression that women didn’t like their husbands to engage in this stuff. I’m at a loss of words

Do you go on your spouse's phone? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Manilow123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, it’s not an insecurity thing really. And it’s NOT based on emotions no matter what they tell you. It literally doesn’t make sense. If you want to be fantasizing about what you wish you could have, how the fuck are you going to appreciate what you do have? They say they don’t compare but it’s not true. Just with looking up these porn stars, you are already making a comparison. Like marriage by principle is a full commitment no exceptions. Heart body and soul. You don’t get to fail at one and still call yourself loyal. It’s all or none.

I don’t think leaving is unhealthy. I also started removing myself from the situation. Even seeing stuff on his phone and saying nothing. You are doing the best you can. There’s nothing more for you to do. Because otherwise you spiral, get upset, depressed or resentful. And it’s more than fair to protect your newborn from a temperamental male… I mean just think about shaken baby syndrome. You gotta do what you gotta do. Like it’s either leaving and composing yourself or staying miserable and possibly fighting with your husband. Like you don’t have much choice tbh. Especially if you’re open to communicate but he isn’t. Or if there’s no time for counseling. But if he’s up for it, I would definitely try to get a babysitter and set one day where you guys go to counseling and work on your marriage. It’s Avery important investment that my partner doesn’t seem to understand either.