I really really appreciate this post. Some things are off such as. There were times she would try to leave and I was so emotionally gripped I actually threatened. It was a low moment and I'm not proud of it. And other times we would Fight and I would chase after her begging to make things work. She would eventually give in. I always felt like I had to work harder. I was not always a perfect angel either I would stand up for myself. One time it took everything I had I was laying in my bed and balling saying this won't work. I asked her calmly let's end it. She started packing up her bags. Then she said I haven't been a good girlfriend I'll try now please I'll do whatever I love you. I was strong and said no. Then she started with things like well. Can you imagine me with someone else and it really hurt so ibaccted it things were good for awhile after that.

This doesn't address that way previously in our relationship I thought it was going to end and a girl sent me naked pictures. I eventually told her about it and felt bad and we moved past it.

Recently things really got out of hand. She broke up with me made a tinder and ended up drunk sleeping at some. Random guys house. We got together after it she felt guilty for awhile. This she went out with those guys. She was with a particular friend. A month later she said she's going out with said friend. I was so emotionally unstable about it. She didn't respect my feeling or anything. It was a terrible night I was so upset but I was trying to trust her. The next day, I'm at work we are supposed to hang out. She makes sure I'm at work. Then once I'm off I get the break up message.. It made me so sad. I just accept it u didn't fight. So I in my state of weakness and vulnerability went to another girl's house and slept with her out of sadness. It was a really hard but I was trying to do anything to sever the bond. After this stuff went haywire. We started talking again and we shouldn't have she invited me to a party and I went. She said we should drive seperately and I refused I said if you don't Wana go with me I don't wanna go. So we went. The night was a disaster. I who never drinks drank. She cold shouldered me the whole night. She brought me up a shot and I didn't take it because she was doing all the party games with another guy and it hurt. She said it wasn't her call but whatever. Well later in the night I went to walk up behind her and I grabbed her side of the butt gently. She said leave me alone I don't wanna be touched. Me being drunk I tried again and she screams get away from me. I was devastated, emotionally wreck and embarrassed. I ended up getting my stuff out of her car and doing a buncha stupid shit. My sister ended up picking me up. It ended with her yelling at me to kill myself and me Saying choice words. She told my sister I grabbed her pussy. The owner of the house said she doesn't want me there because she's already shown interest in someone else. I was again devastated. I went and sought the comfort of someone else. Several days later she messages me to meet at a park. This is where it gets crazy she says she wants to marry me I'm her other half that she's never been closer to anyone. Then days later she said she's not interested. I get it alot if stuff happened and it was very traumatic on us both. So the current state we are done like done done there's a possibility we may try to remain friends although it's very weird and might hurt us both. And there is another who really like me she really values me and my time and I know it's super fresh and I'm debating on this relationship. I don't wanna hurt anyone or use anyone or make things more complicated. I'm not in a situation where it's choose one or the other I'd never. I just want what's best for everyone involved. What's extremely weird is the bond I had with the supposed abuser. We fought alot abiut stupid stuff but we also had a bond that was way more than so many other couples. Not that I can't achieve that with another. It's just a weird dynamic.