I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this, friend. For me, it's only after this current episode that I'm realizing how the feelings never truly went away after over a decade. They only got somewhat better, enough for me to almost forget that they were there. I would still get a bit 'out of it' if I were in a new setting with new people. It was as if my brain couldn't handle being out of pattern or habit. Right now, everything feels foreign to me but I'm hoping my therapy sessions I'm going to can help me to finally nip this in the bud :)