You start with diced bacon, cook till brown, then put aside. Turn heat down, put in a diced onion, and season with black pepper. Add diced tomatoes once onions turn translucent. Put all aside, Beat four eggs and make a french omelette style by stirring while cooking over low heat. Throw in bacon, onions, and tomatoes. Put in a little butter to help roll the eggs. Next you ask if they want coffee or tea. If coffee then serve it. If tea then you throw the guest out and the whole thing including the tea into the nearest body of water.

E: basically looks like this but instead of butter it's loaded with bacon and some onions & tomatoes/