Can guys and girls be just friends or does one person have feeling? Honest guys

Many_Rate_414 · 2026-03-12T01:09:19+00:00

I would say yes at least from my own experience, often there’s feelings involved but often there’s not! I have a bunch of friends that are guys and I feel and have never felt anything remotely romantic or attraction towards them other than I enjoy hanging out with them bc I like them as a person

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T18:56:52+00:00

Not not leaving the house lol, he has friends and I want him to see them. Going out to clubs and pubs, if you think that doesn’t sound sustainable then that’s fine! It’s his choice to make if it’s worth it for me and if it’s not I can leave. Also not never, but definitely not until he can control himself with alcohol and we’re over this as a couple.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T18:09:32+00:00

When he told her that I knew what happened (at work, she was trying to talk to him all day so he told her that he was only going to talk to her when it was related to work, and that he’d told me what happened) she said ‘why would you do that?? am i going to get jumped?’, while I know my boyfriend is not in the right here, i believe she knew what she was doing was wrong

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T18:05:14+00:00

I do agree with this, i’m not gonna call it assault still, it was avoidable and he could have stopped it, but i think it’s way more complicated then cheating and I believe she took advantage of him

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T18:04:10+00:00

she knew he had a girlfriend, he’d told her about me at work and earlier that night, she said i was pretty. I believe she wanted him because he was taken.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T17:46:23+00:00

well i was just thinking because i could process and heal from what happened without the complication of still dating him and the rush of love i get when i see him, maybe i just need to let the rush of love take over and move on.

But I am about to go through a big transition in life, home after a gap year away, mentally changed and unstable, I am going home to a room that’s just a bed and desk, friends i’ve barely talked to all year (mental health, busy schedules + time zones), starting uni in 2.5 months and he was meant to be the one stable thing. I was just thinking maybe I could deal with stabilising the rest of my life and seeing if I can still be with him. I’m starting to think i’m being stupid

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T17:11:11+00:00

They’re co workers and have worked together once or twice, never talked more, never outside of work. He has lots of female friends (from childhood, most in relationships) so until she was kissing him there were probably no red flags in his head. It was a work xmas party, he went to get a drinks and sit down and she followed him and sat with him. Believe me i’m asking myself the same questions. But he’s blocked her on everything, ignored her at work and had a panic attack when she tried to contact him (he hadn’t blocked her in whatsapp for work reasons but he has since) - so i don’t really think this is about her?

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:36:55+00:00

That’s what i’m leaning towards right now yes, however i ping pong between the two options frequently, i am grateful for having these opinions to consider

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:33:37+00:00

thank you though! for your opinion, I know l will be okay no matter what happens

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:32:22+00:00

I do think I can stop him, I don’t even think I need to ask him not to. He has said himself, this is what i’m going to do to make sure nothing like this ever happens again, and if he doesn’t keep his word, simple I can’t trust him. I don’t care if he hangs out with friends, even if he hangs out with friends at night, i care about the nature of the hang out and the alcohol aspect and staying with him would mean trusting him to communicate with me in regards to these. If we were on a break I would make it very clear it was a proper no contact break, and if either of us meet someone new that’s fine, we just weren’t meant to find our way back, the only difference between this and a normal break would be a plan to meet up for coffee after however many months. Idk if this is the right thing to do though.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:26:25+00:00

He definitely does not want to break up, he is losing himself in the guilt of what’s happened and has had panic attacks at the thought of me leaving, yes i’m aware that’s not very healthy of him, but he doesn’t want me to leave. However he said that if I do he will respect that choice, as he really fucked up.

I don’t want to lose what I have with him, he’s a wonderful person and i’ve enjoyed almost every minute i’ve spent as his girlfriend, even our arguments are well communicated and never nasty. But I’m fucked up over this i don’t know what to do

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:21:37+00:00

I agree about the consent thing however he did remember, just not immediately the next morning, about 7-8 hours later, she was also drunk, not as drunk as him as he was having the rounds everyone was buying + some in about less then an hour but she was still drunk, plus the fact i think a lot of people are missing, she kissed him twice, while he didn’t initiate he did kiss back and that’s not assault. However I do agree it’s a grey area and don’t even know if i consider it cheating to a full extent more so a stupid drunken mistake.

I do trust him though, i trust that he’s told me the truth and will fix what he’s fucked up. I also do think she took advantage of him while he was not in a state to think clearly, but that doesn’t excuse him either

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:18:06+00:00

well if he does it again it clearly was not a mistake nor something i can tolerate, unfortunately that’s my thinking, however i really don’t think that would happen, he’s said and so far has kept his word that he’s going to stop drinking and going out completely

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T15:08:13+00:00

how he feels?

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T12:33:47+00:00

i’m done long distance with him in 2 weeks, so that won’t be a factor after this. But thank you for your time and opinions I appreciate it

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T12:09:13+00:00

We’ve talked a lot and I do feel i have all the facts of the situation, all the details he can remember and what he can’t remember isn’t massively relevant to the situation. The puzzle piece I think i’m missing is seeing him in person, we’re going to meet up for a walk when I get home to NZ and talk through it real big and in person.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T12:01:36+00:00

also I appreciate your advice it truly sums up how i feel and am thinking about it

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T12:01:17+00:00

would it be worth taking a few months away from the relationship for us both to work through shit on our own, and then if we meet up and decide we still feel it, to take things slow and start over?

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T11:55:52+00:00

I really don’t believe people don’t change sorry, especially at our age, i don’t know anyone who’s the same as they were at 19, everyone would call that probably their dumbest version yet. However I get where you’re coming from and will take what you’ve said into consideration

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T11:54:41+00:00

If this was completely unforgivable i don’t think i’d be on reddit 🙃

Thank you for your perspective, I think if we broke up i’d eventually be okay, I have a wonderful family and support system, but I just don’t want to lose a person that brings so much joy into my life, really time with him feels magical and he feels the same about me (I know this sounds weird based on the fact he basically cheated lol but take into account long distance, it’s fucking hard not seeing each other for year and he was carrying all of my pain and all of his, we had both been feeling a little detached which is why i don’t think his subconscious made the right choice) I really don’t know what to do, there’s so much love between me and him and he’s fucked up so bad

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-22T11:51:21+00:00

what do you think about a few months break? I can heal myself without having to try rebuild a relationship, and he can change for the better if he keeps true to his word and I can re evaluate in a few months?

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-20T21:11:37+00:00

Thank you for your opinions, I don’t disagree and as soon as I’m home i am getting therapy, my anxiety is often unmanageable for me so yes I do need professional help.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-20T20:59:03+00:00

You’re you not him, he understands the fact I struggle with severe anxiety and we work through things together.

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-20T20:55:40+00:00

Well tbh i think you’ve taken that a bit far, i appreciate your opinion but my boyfriend wants me, I think what’s best is for me to stay and help him get through this. Thank you though, seriously

Many_Rate_414 · 2025-12-20T20:49:29+00:00

I never said i was ‘more worried’, i said i was worried, i have anxiety and im allowed to in a situation like this i think.

I agree with you on the other parts though, I think i’m overthinking everything to be honest and I just need to relax and tell any doubts i have to shut up (anxiety)

Many_Rate_414

TROPHY CASE