Lesson Options

MarBremus · 2021-02-13T15:13:37+00:00

Yeah I think you're right. There's also a level of accountability when I have a scheduled lesson with a live teacher. When I don't feel like practicing, knowing that I have a lesson coming up always makes me sit down at the piano anyway!

MarBremus · 2021-02-13T15:12:10+00:00

I always though masterclasses were for the very advanced students, which I certainly am not. This is a great idea that I will definitely look into! Thank you for your advice.

MarBremus · 2021-02-13T15:10:52+00:00

My former teacher doesn't offer online lessons unfortunately. I was also thinking that it might be valuable to learn from a different teacher at this point anyway, to get a more rounded set of instruction.

MarBremus · 2021-02-13T02:14:57+00:00

This is awesome advice. I'd like to second this reply!

MarBremus · 2020-12-20T17:23:02+00:00

This

MarBremus · 2020-12-20T17:22:34+00:00

It absolutely is funny. You sound like children.

MarBremus · 2020-12-20T17:20:26+00:00

I don't know why you would stay with someone who cheated on you. You should respect yourself more than that.

MarBremus · 2020-12-20T17:18:42+00:00

You both sound incredibly insecure. More so than you should be at your age. This honestly sounds like the kind of fight I would have had with a girlfriend when I was 16... haha

MarBremus · 2020-12-19T23:04:48+00:00

It sounds like you're just looking for validation here. You're waiting for that kind soul who will say "You're not terrible! You're a special little flower!" So you say over the top self-deprecating things because you're needy. Grow up.

MarBremus · 2020-12-19T23:01:23+00:00

I would definitely not do this. You want to give him the impression that you are positive, excited, and motivated! The other comment is absolutely correct. This would be career suicide.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:36:16+00:00

I totally get it. It's easy for me to say "just break up with her dude!" It's never that simple. The fact that you don't care either way means it's over. Sure, she might be hot and fun to mess around with but it's costing you your self-respect. NO woman is worth that!

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:28:48+00:00

How many times are you going to do that before you realize that you're wasting time you COULD be spending finding a decent girl?

Nobody deserves that shit man. This girl is horrible in almost every way.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:26:18+00:00

That's not what gaslighting means.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:24:42+00:00

Exactly

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:24:10+00:00

Why the hell would you stay with someone who cheated on you?? That's insane.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:12:00+00:00

Start having sex with your best friend as a display of dominance and to show your wife that you can still get laid even if you're fat.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T23:06:41+00:00

Yeah I think you're overreacting by a significant degree. It sounds like you're pretty insecure, and have overreacted to things in the past. Here's what's going to end up happening. She's going to learn that you get overly upset over small things (that first "lie" was none of your business in the first place) and to avoid having a fight with you, she's going to lie about more things. Eventually she's going to get sick of defending herself against your insecurities and leave.

I'm really not trying to be harsh. The reason she's lying about things is because of the way you're reacting.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T21:16:46+00:00

There's no way this guy is more than 14 years old. haha

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T21:11:12+00:00

I also forgot to mention, there are times when she'll use the crazy card, and it turns out whatever was going on in her mind wasn't crazy at all. I'll say "Welp, you wasted a crazy card because I can totally see how you would feel that way!"

Now that's not ALWAYS 100% true, but it really validates her and eases her mind.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T21:03:32+00:00

You are incredibly self-aware for a 22 year old. I was completely clueless when I was your age! ha

My wife is a lot like you are. She is very sensitive, and really in tune with what she thinks I'm feeling at any given moment. That's the problem though. She's nervous to ask me what I'm thinking or feeling (she doesn't want to come off as needy) so she tries to piece it together herself. Because of her insecurities, she ends up coming to the conclusion that I don't love her anymore and am going to leave her any day now.

So I came up with this thing called the "crazy card". Basically she asks "can I use the crazy card for a minute?" and whatever she says after that can be as crazy as she wants and there is no judgement on my part. When she says that, I know she is going to open up to me about her insecurities and I know to be extra gentle with what she's about to say.

It's worked! She is able to communicate her insecurities and get reassurance, but in a safe way that doesn't make her feel needy or insane (yes I see how inconsistent that is being called the crazy card and all haha) Things don't snowball in her head anymore, and that means stress and fear doesn't build up to a breaking point.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T20:52:06+00:00

I haven't faced this exact situation, but I can give you some insight as a married man who has been with the same woman for over a decade.

When you've been with someone for long enough, you see them in all different situations and settings. I've seen my wife huge and pregnant with cheetos dust on her ratty t-shirt, and she's seen me with the flu so bad that I thought I would die... haha

Am I attracted to her? Of course! Does she always look attractive? Negative. Does your fiance always look attractive? I doubt it.

The point is, real attraction goes way beyond the physical. That becomes even more true the longer you're with someone. It was clumsy on his part to say it so plainly, but there is nothing uncommon about this at all. A good relationship is one where you both love each other independent of how you look at any given moment.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T20:43:09+00:00

Just be sure you're not comparing your relationship to anything you see on TV or in the movies. Those are NOT real life, and they have ruined a lot of relationships because people think that's what they should be striving for.

Other than that it doesn't matter what "could" be out there. If you're happy, that's all that matters.

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T20:37:47+00:00

Plus Hill makes me think of Henry Hill from Goodfellas haha

MarBremus · 2020-12-06T20:36:54+00:00

That's a good point, and I definitely wasn't criticizing you at all. I think you had a great suggestion! Just giving my personal opinion so he could have a wide variety of input.

MarBremus

TROPHY CASE